Break-ups

Bad timing

By dammit_ - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I walked by my roommate and his girlfriend while they were hugging. I asked, "What's up lovebirds?" Turns out they were in the middle of a breakup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 802

You deserved it 10 415

Empathy

By kumcat - 11/01/2015 05:57 - United States - Aurora

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me by canceling our relationship status on Facebook. I commented in disbelief, only for my dad to reply, "#rekt", then, "But seriously, about time. She's gonna give your balls back, right?" Thanks for the support. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 989

You deserved it 3 986

Joker brain

By Anonymous - 15/10/2013 21:48 - United States - Round Lake

Today, my boyfriend dumped me for knowing more about Batman than he does. He's only seen some of the movies, and as a kid my dad owned a comic book store. He still doesn't see why I should know more, because I'm a girl, and "girls aren't supposed to know about superheroes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 724

You deserved it 4 145

By bestgirlfriend - 03/09/2015 23:31 - United Kingdom - Stockton-on-tees

Today, my dad made me and my boyfriend break up. Not because he was a bad influence, but because I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 155

You deserved it 7 392

Quiet dumping is a thing now?

By RebeccaT - 04/01/2023 00:00

Today, I found out my boyfriend was “quiet dumping” me. He thought treating me like shit to the point of me leaving the relationship would be easier than him having to tell me he’s cheating on me. Apparently he didn’t want to “hurt my feelings” Well played, you bastard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 154

You deserved it 143

The policy of truth

By Anonymous - 02/01/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, I'm ending a 35 year marriage. In the last few months, my husband has told me that he has been preferring porn to me since before we were married, he has had multiple affairs, he always knew his family was toxic and messing with me. Oh, and he wants us to, "Move on and have a happy retirement together." FML

I agree, your life sucks 539

You deserved it 158

By Anonymous - 24/07/2019 00:01

Today, after a year of living with my girlfriend, I came to the conclusion that I'm never going to marry her. I packed my things, wished her well in her life, and loaded everything up into my car. It's been working fine up until this afternoon. Now it won't start. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 845

You deserved it 794

Your fault!

By Anonymous - 11/08/2011 06:04 - Canada

Today, I informed my parents that my husband and I are separating after much deliberation. We came to this conclusion relatively peacefully. According to my parents, I'm now Satan, and will end up on the streets as a crack whore if we don't change our minds and stay together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 586

You deserved it 4 142

Never touch the Xbox

By Unknown - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I turned off my boyfriend's Xbox while he was playing because I wanted to talk to him about getting more serious with our relationship. As I did so, he said, "That's not the only thing you just turned off" and promptly broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 944

You deserved it 15 751

Life decisions

By Anonymous - 08/09/2020 05:05

Today, I decided to break up with my girlfriend after I got home and realised I was happier sat in my car on the street than I would be if I went inside and had to put up with her whining and her two spoiled daughters for even one more day. So now I’m happy, but also homeless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 620

You deserved it 430

That went well

By Gigi - 02/07/2021 13:59

Today, my now ex-fiancé walked out on me on our wedding day. He decided his best female friend, whom he constantly told me not to worry about while we were together, is his "soulmate." Both of them ran away together to god knows where, while I stood there humiliated in front of our family and friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 245

You deserved it 173

The sunk cost fallacy

By Stephanie - 02/10/2022 20:00

Today, I finally got over my ex and his past of constant lying/cheating/manipulation in our relationship. Only… I'm still living in his house with all of my stuff and my cat, because I've already paid him my half of his mortgage for the next two months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 857

You deserved it 269

Say hello, wave goodbye

By Anonymous - 11/07/2009 18:11 - United States

Today, my boyfriend wanted to take me to a movie after days of not seeing me. This long-awaited date involved me paying for food and my movie ticket when he ran out of cash again. He then dumped me as we left the theater walking to his car. Yes, I financed my own breakup date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 879

You deserved it 4 879

Standards

By Lily - 23/03/2009 01:10 - United States

Today, my boyfriend dumped me because he said he needed to be with someone smart so that he could impress his parents. I just got accepted into medical school. When I pointed that out to him, he added that he needed to be with someone attractive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84 791

You deserved it 4 685

Not working out too well, huh?

By Coldandcalculated - 13/10/2021 02:00

Today, I learned that my fiancée copied my house key early into our relationship. The reason being is that in case I were to catch her cheating, which I did, she could come in and trash my place when I called off the wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 517

You deserved it 148

By Anonymous - 30/05/2012 05:25 - United States - Astoria

Today, my fiancé and I broke up, and he won't answer my calls or texts. I don't want him back; he has my dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 231

You deserved it 3 502

Passive agressive on a whole new level

By Joe Bloggs - 30/09/2024 14:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was at my usual coffee shop when I overheard a couple at the next table arguing about how to break up. They decided to have a “Breakup Party” and invited everyone around them, including me, right there and then. I ended up eating free cake while watching their weird, messy breakup unfold. FML

I agree, your life sucks 456

You deserved it 134

Unreasonable

By Anonymous - 14/05/2021 11:01 - United States - Wilmington

Today, my fiancé of over 5 years and I split, since I don't want kids and he does, which I have told him throughout our relationship. It gets better: we live in a house that his father owns and his father wants me out… in a fucking week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 333

You deserved it 721

Red flag

By Anonymous - 04/09/2022 22:00

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend after we went to my family reunion. I heard him complaining that I didn't have any "slutty cousins" he could cheat on me with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 702

You deserved it 210

Assumptions

By InkedItaliana - 13/07/2022 12:00

Today, my new boyfriend told me it wasn’t gonna work out, all because he found out I have tattoos. According to him, that’s an indication that I don’t respect myself and my body, and have “a body count higher than Snoop Dogg on 4/20.” I’m actually a virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 441

You deserved it 286

Weird reasoning

By Anonymous - 18/06/2021 06:01

Today, my girlfriend dumped me when I told her I once got out of jury duty. It was a legitimate reason with evidence from my neurosurgeon, but she thinks I should have done my civic duty, while enduring the pain of screws holding my skull together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 140

You deserved it 93

Toxic

By Anonymous - 05/01/2022 23:01

Today, my girlfriend punched me in the face, then broke up with me because apparently she'd proved that I’m a pussy who won’t stand up for myself or fight back if attacked, so if we were robbed on the street, she wouldn’t trust me to protect her. What kind of logic is this? Good riddance, psycho. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 702

You deserved it 174

Shattered

By Nolo - 24/11/2023 02:30

Today, the love of my life, who I’ve finally been able to date after so long, broke up with me. I met her parents for the first time and they don’t approve of me dating her due to our age gap. She’s 18 and I’m 36. Apparently they don’t understand that she’s a consenting adult and can make her own choices. FML

I agree, your life sucks 132

You deserved it 2 526

Be free

By Cora - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. His response was, "Thank god, finally." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 326

You deserved it 9 334

Loving

By HeatherFeather - 23/05/2024 16:00 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, the guy I was seeing told me it wasn’t gonna work out and that he wished me the best. Apparently I acted “too desperate” for his liking. Gee, I’m sorry, but I guess showing basic decency like buying you a birthday present, buying you lunch everyday, and allowing you to use my Netflix, AKA being loving, is too much. FML

I agree, your life sucks 270

You deserved it 620

Built to last

By Anonymous - 15/11/2021 11:00

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me only two weeks after he moved into my place, because his massive German shepherd keeps running scared from my cat. Apparently, I ruined his dog by letting my cat be dominant to him, and it’s all my fault his dog is a wuss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 139

You deserved it 161

Bad romance

By wtf - 26/11/2022 06:00

Today, my boyfriend of two years broke up with me for not closing the door when I pooped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 404

You deserved it 1 377

Depressing

By Anonymous - 16/08/2013 04:24 - United States - Orlando

Today, I received a text saying, "I don't think we should be friends anymore. You're terribly depressing and you make everyone unhappy" followed by, "Oops, wrong person!" and then by, "Sorry, it really is for you". FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 304

You deserved it 4 890

Eternity

By Anonymous - 06/04/2013 16:17 - Hungary - Budapest

Today, I took my girlfriend to eat out at a restaurant. We chatted for an hour, and it all seemed to be going well, until she told me that she wanted to break up. Waiting for the bill and driving her home was the most painful time of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 794

You deserved it 3 632

Who the **** are you?

By fuckingtrollingskankwhoreshitwankcuntfuck - 13/07/2013 17:33 - United States - Enfield

Today, I was shopping with my girlfriend, when a girl came out of nowhere, screaming at me for cheating on her, and saying she was dumping me. I've never seen her before, and she was almost grinning during her little act, but my girlfriend believed it, and I'm now single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 435

You deserved it 4 169

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The Top

Today, in a large church youth group, we were told to write our current biggest trial on a piece of paper, crumple it up, and throw it in pile. I wrote "My mother's death and having to leave my friends and family." The one I picked up just said "math." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 828

You deserved it 4 076

Today, while in my room on the computer, I had a sudden urge to pee. I got up to use the loo and started hearing some disturbing noises from inside. Apparently I was so quiet my parents thought I was gone and decided to have sex in the shower. It's been an hour and my bladder is about to burst. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 572

You deserved it 3 272

Today, my mom found my anime drawings and tore them up because she “didn’t raise some filthy porn artist.” I admit the pictures were kind of porny, but I’m an artist and those images were done to my customer's very specific description. My mom just cost me weeks of detailed drawing and £2000. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 463

You deserved it 384

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he started shaking really hard. When I asked him what he was doing, he simply said, "I want to be better than your vibrator!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 152

You deserved it 12 091

Today, after I caught my husband cheating and lying, he had the nerve to claim it wasn't a big deal because, "I always come home to you!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 549

You deserved it 404

Today, my girlfriend, who never initiates sex, pulled me into my room and onto my bed with kisses and other seductive behavior. As I'm thinking about how awesome it is that's she's doing this for once, she reaches down, grabs my underwear, and gives me the worst wedgie I've ever received. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 196

You deserved it 13 571