Birthday

Kinda sus

By Unwanted - 21/10/2023 22:00

Today, it's my birthday. My husband said he had to work today and “rain checked” my birthday celebration for “god knows when, because I’m so busy. I’ll let you know.” A couple of months ago it was his female work bestie’s birthday and he got her a cake, balloon, flowers, and requested time off to take her out for lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 227

You deserved it 180

Clever boy

By Lisa87 - 21/05/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I came home to find my dog had learned how to open our fridge. He ate the birthday cake I was saving for a friend's surprise party, and to add insult to injury, he'd also apparently thrown the barely digested cake up all over my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 506

You deserved it 101

Thanks, iHate it

By muggle68 - 10/12/2009 20:38 - United States

Today, it was my birthday. I have been heavily hinting that I want an iPhone. I opened my present from my parents and found an iPhone box. Ecstatic, I quickly opened it. Apparently, my parents thought it would be funny to wrap my present, a $10 iTunes gift card, in the box my Dad's iPhone came in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 467

You deserved it 8 546

Can't we all just get along?

By Anonymous - 20/07/2023 03:00

Today, while celebrating my birthday, my family found time after a few drinks to start at least one argument, if not more, and drove me to biting my nails off. I don't even remember the last time that happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 620

You deserved it 157

Where am I right now?

By Anonymous - 27/08/2024 13:00 - United States - Livermore

Today, I celebrated my birthday with my family. While they were singing Happy Birthday to me, my mother called me by my brother's name. When I blew out the candles a moment later, I joked, "I wish my mother could remember which son I am." Before we had even started eating the cake, she called me by my father's name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 455

You deserved it 86

Booze don't cure the blues

By Anonymous - 18/02/2021 07:58 - United States - Edison

Today, it was my birthday, and even the person who seemed excited about me finally turning 21 and can legally drink forgot. Guess who got drunk alone tonight? This guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 815

You deserved it 178

Sick burn

By Anonymous - 10/02/2012 21:07 - Belgium

Today, my mother used climate change as an excuse for not remembering my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 227

You deserved it 2 754

It's a surprise alright

By Taylor - 20/06/2025 12:00 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I planned a surprise birthday party for my best friend. I told her to “be home by 7 for a little surprise.” She got home at 6:55… with her new boyfriend. Surprise: he hadn’t been invited. Awkward family introductions followed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 337

You deserved it 107

Socialite

By Shelley05 - 29/07/2025 12:00 - United States - Santa Fe

Today, I showed up to my friend’s birthday party with a huge cake... on what turned out to be the wrong day. The actual party is tomorrow. Her family laughed and thought if was cute, but I just wanted the floor to open up and let me disappear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 359

You deserved it 144

Far out, man

By shroomda - 29/06/2009 07:29 - United States

Today, I called my dad to wish him happy birthday. The phone was disconnected, so I called my sister to see what his cell phone number was. She then informed me that our dad was in jail for selling shrooms to teenagers at a music festival out of state. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 257

You deserved it 3 410

By Jake Whitte - 06/06/2011 13:50 - United States

Today, I changed the date of my birthday to today on Facebook to see how many people actually know my birthday. My mom wished me a happy birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 681

You deserved it 15 773

Bitchy family

By is that jealousy I detect ? - 24/02/2022 17:59

Today, I was excitedly celebrating my 21st birthday. I was heading my to my first club when my sister called and snarkly said, “Congratulations on being 21, hope you don’t get drugged, raped and murdered tonight!” She’s mad that she was pregnant on her 21st and didn’t get to go out, so she wanted to ruin mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 181

You deserved it 128

And I Oop

By Anonymous - 15/01/2021 23:01

Today, my mom was screaming and throwing things at me and I didn’t know why. Then I checked the date. Her birthday was yesterday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 404

You deserved it 1 313

Happy birthday anyway!

By bdaygirl - 11/05/2024 10:00 - United States - Grand Rapids

Today, I received a short happy birthday message from my father. He’s never been one to show affection, and I haven’t spoken to him in months since he only reaches out to ask for money. This might have given me hope that he cares or wants a relationship with me. Except… it’s not my birthday, and I don’t think he knows that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 466

You deserved it 112

Thanks, I hate it

By Anonymous - 11/12/2009 16:52 - United States

Today, it's my birthday and my friends and I went to our favorite pub to celebrate. As I'm a little broke at the moment, they all offered to buy me birthday drinks. Which I later learned meant that they would order them for me and bring them to the table, but put everything on my tab. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 576

You deserved it 2 932

Love is in the air

By Anonymous - 27/11/2024 23:00 - United Kingdom

Today, for my birthday, my husband gave me a dress he stole from my wardrobe. It was the one I'd bought myself on my last birthday because he forgot to buy me anything, and gave me cash in a brown envelope. Not a birthday card, a brown envelope. FML

I agree, your life sucks 546

You deserved it 112

The hair of the dog

By Anonymous - 20/06/2024 16:00 - Australia

Today, my friends threw me a surprise birthday party. I was genuinely surprised—and also genuinely hungover from celebrating my birthday alone the night before because they'd all told me they were busy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 515

You deserved it 129

Thanks, babe

By Anonymous - 14/12/2020 17:58 - Canada - Moncton

Today, it’s my birthday. My boyfriend of almost 4 years completely forgot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 972

You deserved it 124

Happy Birthday, Sweaty

By jezebel - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I got a call from the office telling me I was fired. When I asked why, my boss explained my mother called and told him I was in a "weak mental state." She thought she was helping me get off for my birthday. Now I have no job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 246

You deserved it 3 534

You're on your own

By Anonymous - 10/11/2023 00:02

Today, almost half of my birthday party invitees are refusing to attend, simply because my mother-in-law is going to be there, and their hatred of her Karen-like behaviour is greater than their desire to celebrate my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 565

You deserved it 241

By dog_day - 19/12/2009 06:20 - United States

Today, I was asked by my mom if I could have a joint birthday party with her dog, because it would be the dog's "Big 1-0." She was completely serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 425

You deserved it 2 707

Bullying ain't cool, guys

By FatAndSingle - 17/10/2022 16:00

Today, on my 30th birthday, my mom, aunt, and sister staged an intervention instead of throwing a party. Apparently I’m “ruining my life” by being 300lbs and being "single for 5 years" and I need to “get my act together.” They treated me like I’m some sort of criminal and reduced me to tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 070

You deserved it 832

No gifts for you

By Birthdaypoop - 20/06/2022 12:00

Today, it’s my birthday. Not only did my boyfriend of 5 years forget, when I reminded him, he said very unenthusiastically, “Oh, Happy Birthday.” When I said, “That’s it?” he got annoyed and said,“Well, what else do you want me to tell you?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 910

You deserved it 1 261

You forgetting something?

By Anonymous - 22/05/2022 20:00 - United States - North Miami Beach

Today, it was my birthday. My family usually gives me a financial gift, but didn't this time and said nothing about it. I cooked my own birthday dinner without help, then washed everyone's dishes. I got my own cake and ate it alone because they were too busy getting drunk. Nobody bothered to sing Happy Birthday either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 179

You deserved it 164

Pulled a sneaky on you

By blank sheep at work - 01/03/2022 09:00 - United States - Richland

Today, I found out that my work threw me a birthday party alongside my coworker’s birthday. Said coworker spread a rumor, telling everyone that I wanted each person to buy me flowers and cake. Everyone thought that I was a weirdo for asking for those things from them. I wasn't at work today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 972

You deserved it 100

Gratitude

By Anonymous - 23/08/2021 19:01 - United States - Chicago

Today, it's my 35th birthday. My wife greeted me naked, and with an itemized list of what's off limits. A list of what was on the menu would've been much shorter and might have had better spelling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 093

You deserved it 211

Happy Birthday

By Anonymous - 06/02/2022 00:00 - United States - New York

Today, I heard my fiancé tell his friend that he's working on Sunday. Which is my birthday. The birthday I don't even get a party for because of Covid. My only plan was to be with him and my BFF. He says he didn't think to take the day off, and now there's "probably not enough time to get coverage." He's the manager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 905

You deserved it 255

I got heels, they’re made of plywood

By Morrissey - 06/04/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I was at a friend's birthday party in a packed karaoke bar/restaurant and I drunkenly agreed to sing. I picked a song I thought I knew by heart, only to realize halfway through that the lyrics on the screen were not at all what I thought they were. My brain went for a smoke break or something, and I turned into a rambling mess. The crowd actually booed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 156

You deserved it 401

No fun allowed

By karmas a kunt - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was at work when an elderly lady casually mentioned it was her birthday. I motioned two of my coworkers over, and we sang a little "Happy Birthday" to her over the phone. Our boss stormed in mid-song and suspended all three of us on the spot for "unprofessional behavior." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 820

You deserved it 2 924

Thanks for the memories

By Anonymous - 13/10/2009 03:12 - United States

Today, my mom lit a candle in our living room, telling the family how much she loved it. She then went on the tell us that my dad got it for her and it must have been some cheap candle. I bought the candle as a gift for her on her birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 985

You deserved it 3 136

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I found out my husband of one year has been renting his old batchelor's apartment in secret, because he is unsure if he wants to stay married to me, and we are broke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 151

You deserved it 117

Today, I gave a big presentation to my class. It included PowerPoint slides and video clips of the country I'd been researching. Another student did a presentation on the same country, except he just read from its Wikipedia page. He practically got a standing ovation. I got a single clap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 261

You deserved it 3 763

Today, at my little cousin’s birthday party, some spoilt child played a prank and placed chocolate cake on my seat just as I was about to sit. Let’s just say of all the days, today was a bad day to wear cream trousers and park the car quite a way away from the venue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 888

You deserved it 139

Today, I ordered a surveillance camera for my home. The package got stolen after being delivered. I think they're onto me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 895

You deserved it 266

Today, I was reliving my youth watching videos of *NSYNC on YouTube, when a suggested ad popped up for “Haircuts for women over 50.” I’m only 27. FML

I agree, your life sucks 684

You deserved it 297

Today, I lost my dog and so I put up 'lost' signs. As I was coming back home I noticed one had been written on. It said: "Found your dog. Keeping it". FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 298

You deserved it 3 495