Airplanes

Jamaica? I hardly know her

By Anonymous - 07/10/2015 10:58 - United States - Poughkeepsie

Today, my mom and I went to catch our flight to Jamaica. She ended up being detained and questioned, because she packed hairspray, shampoo, drinks, basically half the shit you're not allowed to have in your luggage. We missed our flight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 366

You deserved it 2 473

The talk

By airplanes-suck - 21/08/2009 00:20 - United States

Today, I went on a plane and was sitting next to a mom with her 12-year-oldish daughter. Apparently, they decided to have "The talk." On the plane, right next to me. I heard everything, and actually learned new things. I'm 35. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 343

You deserved it 6 689

Flying Karens

By Anonymous - 14/05/2023 18:00

Today, I had to deal with a grown-ass woman having a tantrum at me because the plane, which she was over an hour late for, dared to set off without her. Yes, DARED TO, as though she thought she was so special that it was reasonable for a plane with hundreds of passengers to wait just for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 978

You deserved it 99

Look where you're going, dude

By balancestrikesagain - 24/04/2009 09:37 - United States

Today, I was getting onto an airplane and happened to admire the stewardess. I was walking onto the plane and was just about to talk to her when my foot slipped into the crack between the boarding ramp and the plane. Not only did she laugh as I limped to my seat but now I have bruised nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 483

You deserved it 10 813

Great start

By siggit - 10/09/2009 15:58 - United States

Today, I left on my honeymoon with my wife who is terrified of flying. The pilot announced incoming storms in the flight path, and the man next to me starts saying it's "probably fate" and "we all have to go sometime." My wife went into a full panic attack. We hadn't even left the ground yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 913

You deserved it 3 172

Get me out

By Anonymous - 21/03/2011 18:36 - United States

Today, I'm on a 16 hour flight. Five minutes in, the lady on one side has clipped her toenails onto me and the guy on the other side has the most horrific gas I have ever smelled. To help this problem he bought a cheese plate from the stewardess. 15 hours and 55 minutes to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 481

You deserved it 3 250

Cost effective

By apawn - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff

Today, I had the option of choosing a train or a plane to get to my destination. The train was cheaper but took 4 hours longer, so I picked the plane. My flight was delayed, so I essentially paid more to arrive later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 231

You deserved it 1 963

Stressed out

By Anonymous - 07/08/2023 06:00

Today, I was supposed to fly home for my dad's funeral, but the woman in the seat next to me was so obese, her bulging flesh left absolutely no way for me to sit in my seat. I complained to the stewardess, who then forced me to leave the plane just for raising my voice in frustration. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 012

You deserved it 510

Wake up Boo!

By Anonymous - 11/03/2021 20:01

Today, my work made us all get up at 3 a.m. to head to the airport for our 7 a.m. flight, only for us to get to the airport and find out the flight is cancelled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 001

You deserved it 95

Been around the world and I, I, I, I can't find my luggage

By 1942ford - 23/07/2013 02:18 - United States - Lynnwood

Today, I called an airline to try to locate a bag I left on a flight. When I told the phone rep which airport I flew into, he asked me what city it was in. He paused after I told him, then asked me what state Seattle is in. I don't think I'll be getting my bag back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 234

You deserved it 3 828

Kids…

By Satan'sChildren - 28/04/2013 02:30 - United States - Oak Creek

Today, I was coming home from a much-needed vacation. The time I spent on the plane consisted of kids screaming and throwing tantrums. One of them managed to give me a black eye with a shoe. Their mom pretended to be asleep so I'd have to deal with her kids for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 641

You deserved it 3 270

Who are you?

By NotlovingAgain - 14/03/2022 06:00

Today, knowing my long-distance boyfriend was cheating on me with a local girl, I decided to make a surprise visit to confront him by showing up to his home. Both of them answered the door. My boyfriend claimed to not know me, and threatened to call the cops. I ended up back at the airport in tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 690

You deserved it 483

Turbulence

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Spring Hope

Today, I am sitting next to a guy who very clearly has lice crawling on his head. It's a six hour flight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 023

You deserved it 3 161

By Anonymous - 14/12/2009 18:08 - United States

Today, I checked into my flight early. The kiosk asked me if I wanted an earlier flight for $50. Awesome. I swiped my card then continued to the next screen where I was informed my new flight was delayed to the same time as my original flight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 044

You deserved it 6 013

Congrats!

By Bittersweet - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, after 10 years of frequent international air travel, I got my seat upgraded for the very first time. Also, for the very first time in 10 years, the airline lost my luggage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 087

You deserved it 170

Shush

By Nutty - 24/06/2009 05:10 - United States

Today, I was sitting next to this cute guy on an airplane who I had started talking to. There was still an empty seat between us and it seemed like there weren't any more passengers boarding the plane. I then asked out loud, "I wonder if anyone will sit between us?" He replied "I hope so." FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 254

You deserved it 12 551

Don't call me Shirley

By Anonymous - 10/05/2012 13:09 - Sweden - Solna

Today, I was on an airplane, waiting to go to the bathroom. After a few minutes, the man behind me asked what I was waiting for, and checked the bathroom. It was empty, and there was a big line behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 638

You deserved it 28 779

Been around the world and I I I, I can't find my suitcase

By Anonymous - 11/02/2023 16:00

Today, I arrived home after taking one airplane from A to B. My luggage never made it on the plane with me, and now the airline is looking for it. One plane and still lost my suitcase. FML

I agree, your life sucks 781

You deserved it 108

Classic TSA FML

By Anonymous - 20/03/2022 09:59

Today, out of my mom, dad, and my siblings, I was the only one selected for a “random” extra check at the airport. My parents are English and my siblings were adopted from France and Scotland, and are all white. My bio parents were Pakistani, and I'm nutbrown and I was the only “random” search. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 362

You deserved it 225

Nice view from up here

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Sweden - Norsborg

Today, it was the first time I was going to fly first class. I ended up in the bathroom almost the whole flight with diarrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 965

You deserved it 2 406

On the run

By Airplane crap - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Leavenworth

Today, I got stuck on an airplane for a while before takeoff. Someone decided it was a great time to get diarrhea while on the toilet, and we couldn't take off for safety reasons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 502

You deserved it 4 240

Girls just wanna go home

By budadepressed - 18/07/2016 21:22 - United States - Burnsville

Today, due to a scheduling error, I spent an entire day and night in an airport, over 30 hours in total. Just as I arrived at the gate, I was informed that my flight had been delayed for another 2 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 614

You deserved it 1 085

Flying disaster

By Anonymous - 24/03/2023 14:00 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, I was on a plane when I had to use the bathroom. While pulling up my pants, the flush button got stuck and the water kept running. I tried to fix it, but ended up flooding the bathroom and the aisle. The attendants had to give me a towel and escort me back to my seat with everyone on the plane staring at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 856

You deserved it 144

Banished

By Anonymous - 25/11/2023 20:00

Today, I was on an early flight home after a night of drinking. I was sat in my seat when I started feeling sweaty and nauseous. I grabbed the puke bag and started gagging, then puking, and a really loud fart came out. Everyone heard it. The attendant switched me seat to sit alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 160

You deserved it 836

Information pending

By Weary traveler - 20/05/2023 11:00 - Latvia

Today, I was sitting at an airport bar when my flight, which was only supposed to leave in an hour, showed up as "Final call for boarding." I ran through the airport, only to find out they hadn't started boarding yet. Fucking Ryanair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 761

You deserved it 129

By plantfood - 06/01/2012 05:47 - United States

Today, I was boarding a plane and an elderly woman asked if I could put her carry on into the overhead bin. Eager to help, I energetically lifted her bag up, and smacked her in the face with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 044

You deserved it 6 365

Badass

By Anonymous - 06/01/2024 08:00

Today, on a plane, a little kid was kicking the back of my son's chair. When the kid's mom went to the toilet, my son told this little kid, "If you kick my chair one more time, I’m going to kill your mom and you’ll never see her again." He stopped kicking but damn, what kind of son did I raise? FML

I agree, your life sucks 417

You deserved it 255

Long haul

By Anonymous - 29/07/2021 20:01

Today, my flight from China to Moscow arrived late, making me miss my next transfer flight back home to Ireland. I had to wait for 24 hours for the next flight, without food vouchers, without a free hotel room, and without a free plane ticket that the airport was suppose to give. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 093

You deserved it 127

By legitweirdo - 08/01/2013 04:16 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, within the first 15 minutes of a nonstop 8-hour flight, the guy sitting next to me picked an eyelash he found on my face, stared at it for a few seconds, and stuck it in his mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 877

You deserved it 2 704

Oh, hai Mark!

By sweet - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff

Today, I discovered that despite locking the bathroom door of an airplane, a man is still fully capable of walking in on you changing your tampon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 429

You deserved it 2 035

FML on Facebook

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The Top

Today, I sent my grandma a naked picture instead of my girlfriend. While attempting to delete it, I sent it again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 727

You deserved it 54 909

Today, my brother told me that wanting a break by having one evening away from my son makes me look like a really bad mother. My son is three and hasn't been babysat since he was an infant, and I've been a single mum for the last 8 months. I just wanted some time to recharge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 939

You deserved it 169

Today, I was watching an animal behavior movie. All of a sudden, it brings up two snails going at it. I got hard watching it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 927

You deserved it 45 033

Today, my professor informed me that if I didn't "show more commitment" to my choral ensemble he would give my spot to a "more interested young woman." I missed class to see my neurologist. Apparently my seizures are a symptom of lack of commitment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 414

You deserved it 2 773

Today, for our last kid-free dinner before the birth of our 4th child, we chose a Japanese hibachi restaurant. They sat us with a family with a toddler, who started screaming at the first flame trick, causing the chef to cease to do anything entertaining. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 801

You deserved it 4 601

Today, my college professor handed every student a note card and told us to rate his looks from 1 to 5. Is this what I pay $20,000 a year for? FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 358

You deserved it 3 784