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Charming dude

By HittingDaGymNow - 05/11/2025 03:00

Today, my now-ex boyfriend said that his dream girl has big breasts. When I pointed out that I have big breasts, he told me that, “But you’re plus-sized, that don’t count. I’m talking 'bout girls with hourglass figures, not big back bitches.” Nice to know that’s how he felt about me this whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 495

You deserved it 159

Wishful thinking

By Anonymous - 15/07/2025 21:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my wife told me she’s pregnant and we went through the whole range of emotions together, surprise, happiness, tears, anger, acceptance, you name it. An hour later she said she wanted to save the pregnancy test for memories. Guess she forgot her glasses, it very clearly says NOT pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 495

You deserved it 102

Exploitation

By Anonymous - 08/06/2025 00:00 - United States - Baldwin Park

Today, our boss told me and her other salaried staff, "There is literally no problem this office faces that can't be solved by you all working after hours and on weekends." FML

I agree, your life sucks 494

You deserved it 73

Time to get working, kid

By Anonymous - 23/05/2025 09:00 - United States - Meredith

Today, after yesterday was the second anniversary of my mother’s passing, it’s now my son’s first birthday. To top it off, my job just laid everyone off today too. I had the only income in the family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 494

You deserved it 69

No one (in HR) wants to work anymore

By Anonymous - 25/01/2025 11:00 - United States - Lancaster

Today, I have applied to over 50 different jobs in the last month. I have NOT received a call or email back from any of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 493

You deserved it 74

Practicality

By Nicole C - 25/02/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, my long-distance boyfriend of 2 years left me for another girl he’s known for 3 months, just because she’s closer. Never mind that I was the one who remained faithful to him for 2 long years, got him through the deaths of his parents, gave him money when he fell on hard times, among other things. FML

I agree, your life sucks 493

You deserved it 150

Praise the Lord

By Anonymous - 11/05/2025 05:00 - United States

Today, at 7am on a Saturday, my next door neighbor set up a preacher guy with a mic and large speaker. It's 2pm, and I can still hear him screaming about Jesus through my foam insulated walls and $300 noise canceling headphones. I can't sleep, and I'm injured so I can't leave home. That's my Shabbat ruined! FML

I agree, your life sucks 493

You deserved it 127

In these times

By Anonymous - 01/08/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, after my ex left me to be number 5 or 6 to some dude, she’s now going to jail for whatever bullshit they got her into. She calls them family, and she expects me to still take my kids to visit those creepy ass polyamorous freaks she’s had them living around. No fucking way! FML

I agree, your life sucks 492

You deserved it 123

Right place…

By Not Her, sorry - 03/05/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, I was walking through my local park when I noticed a guy getting down on one knee with a ring box in hand. As I got closer, he looked at me, got a horrified expression on his face, and shouted, “Oh no, wrong woman!” He then awkwardly stood up, put the ring back in his pocket, and scuttled away. That's probably the closest I'll ever get to a proposal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 492

You deserved it 146

Daily struggle

By Anonyme - 21/05/2025 02:00 - United States

Today, I'm pulling myself up by my bootstraps again. I have Ehlers-Danlos syndromes and don't metabolize protein properly, which led to a massive protein deficiency after losing 6lb in a week from a medical emergency. I just did two rounds of physical therapy a year ago and lost all of the muscle. I'm tired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 492

You deserved it 77

There must be more to this story

By Anonymous - 28/09/2025 15:00

Today, I found out that if you’re on a date with a woman who seems interested in you and you’re both getting on really well, it won’t stop her calling you a fucking nerd and pouring her drink over you for admitting you watch anime and read a lot of books, and she will still leave you with the bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 492

You deserved it 104

Rough week

By Dee-Nice - 17/05/2025 03:00 - United States - Phoenix

Today, after I'd given myself a week off work for my birthday, and my alcoholic sister decided she needed to go to rehab, which then hijacked the whole week for her crisis, at 4:30 am, the morning I'm supposed to return to work, I end up in the ER with a first time kidney stone. The next thing I know, she's in the ER for an injury. FML

I agree, your life sucks 491

You deserved it 76

Same old, same old

By Anonymous - 19/02/2025 05:00 - United States

Today, it was our 19 year wedding anniversary. When I mentioned this to my husband, all he did was grunt at me and never brought it up again for the rest of the day. I didn't get anything. No flowers, no card, no dinner, nothing. Oh, and I also had to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 490

You deserved it 188

Freaked out

By Anonymous - 25/10/2025 15:00

Today, I came home in an awful mood, and grumbled to my wife that sometimes I want to strangle my boss. My wife regularly screams up and down the house over the most minor shit, but apparently this upset her so much that she took the kids to her mom's, and is demanding I get anger management. FML

I agree, your life sucks 490

You deserved it 92

Dinner is on me

By I have no words - 24/08/2025 02:00 - United States

Today, after a long and exhausting day at work, I had no energy to do much of anything, so with that in mind, I got Arby's on the way home. When I did get home and was trying to carry the bag inside, it ripped open and spilled my food all over the driveway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 490

You deserved it 106

Wedding bells

By Sad sad bride - 16/07/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of several years told me the only way he’d ever consider getting married was if we had no wedding, just signing the paper at the courthouse with no ceremony or guests whatsoever, and as long as we don’t tell anyone about it. He doesn’t get why I’m devastated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 490

You deserved it 180

None of my business

By Anonymous - 31/01/2025 19:00

Today, we witnessed a car hit a cyclist. My husband didn’t stop walking, even when I told him we should help. He said, “Why? Do we know him?” He then refused to help because getting involved and doing something wrong would risk us being sued instead of the driver. FML

I agree, your life sucks 489

You deserved it 172

Meritocracy, huh?

By Anonymous - 21/03/2025 19:00 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, as a teacher, I saw a younger boy kick an older boy in the crotch and I reported it in our online system. Despite typical consequences for violence (automatic suspension), the department head, a drinking buddy of the boy's parents, gave him only a single detention. Now, the department head is harassing me for reporting the incident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 488

You deserved it 91

Rememberance Day special

By Crappy circumstances - 11/11/2025 12:00

Today, I had to shit worse than I thought possible at work. I left my desk and hurried towards the bathroom, dropping trou as soon as the door closed. I then tripped over my pant leg, hit my head on the toilet, and came to some minutes later with my ass spewing diarrhea like a volcano. FML

I agree, your life sucks 488

You deserved it 90

Long haul

By Anonymous - 03/06/2025 17:00 - United States

Today, I’ve had an irregular period my whole life. I was on birth control and took out my IUD in January. I’ve had my period ever since. It’s going on 5 months now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 487

You deserved it 100

Get on with it

By Luk - 01/07/2025 05:00 - Japan - Tokyo

Today, my wife gave me hell for not returning an Amazon package to Whole Foods on my day off. The closest Whole Foods is twenty minutes away, right by my work. Why should I waste an hour of my day off when I can do it after work tomorrow? FML

I agree, your life sucks 487

You deserved it 98

Cool down

By Bruises - 18/05/2025 14:00 - United States - Edison

Today, my boyfriend picked me up during sex and set me on his shoulders, with his face buried in my pussy. I loved it until he took a step and put my face right in the path of the ceiling fan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 487

You deserved it 115

Coulrophobia

By Anonymous - 02/07/2025 02:00 - United Kingdom

Today, after I recently took our kids to a fair and they both turned out to be scared of clowns, and because the fair was my idea, my wife has told me there will be no sex at all until the kids stop having clown-themed nightmares every night. Two weeks so far and god only knows how long still to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 487

You deserved it 113

Happy anniversary?

By Anonymous - 14/02/2025 02:00 - United States - Carpentersville

Today, it was my one-year anniversary with my girlfriend, but instead of celebrating, we had to attend a family funeral with a bunch of people who "don't agree with our lifestyle." To make matters worse, I received my first ticket on the way there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 486

You deserved it 143

Never enough, never

By Anonymous - 06/03/2025 09:00 - United States - Newark

Today, I got promoted at work and was excited to tell my mom. When I called her, she immediately asked, “What does this mean for my retirement fund?” and then asked how much I was going to be making. I told her, and she responded, “Oh. That’s nice, but when are you getting a real job?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 486

You deserved it 94

Gotcha

By Anonymous - 14/05/2025 13:00 - United States

Today, my leasing office called to inform me that we will be receiving an eviction notice. After further communication into why, I found out that I’m not being evicted, but my girlfriend of six years is, because she got caught doing the dirty with someone in the apartment gym restroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 486

You deserved it 105

Clean living

By Anonymous - 23/02/2025 01:00 - Australia

Today, I wasn’t hungover at work for a change, after quitting heavy drinking of 10+ years. My boss accused me of being “high as a kite on drugs”, because I was “suspiciously chirpy.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 486

You deserved it 108

YOU MUST CONFORM

By Brandnew102 - 30/06/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I realized that being 60 pounds lighter has made every guy that crossed my path worship the ground I walk on. When I had the weight, guys would flinch at me, or not give me the time of day. I just want to be treated as a human being, no matter what size I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 486

You deserved it 265

Priorities

By Anonymous - 10/04/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, when she found out my mother died, my ever empathetic wife said, “Tell them not to have the funeral on Friday. I have a hair appointment.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 485

You deserved it 83

His little secret

By Kayla - 06/03/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of over a year still refuses to acknowledge our relationship on social media because he “wants to keep things private.” He posts about his dogs, his car, gym selfies, his beer outings with the boys, even his favorite team scores, but when it comes to me, suddenly it’s “I want to keep it private.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 485

You deserved it 194

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The Top

Today, I was supposed to go to Disneyland with my family, but I woke up with explosive diarrhea. So while they are at the happiest place on Earth, I'm stuck on this toilet left to imagine that the splash from my crap is a splash from Splash Mountain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 595

You deserved it 3 328

Today, I found a limp head of celery in the fridge. I thought it looked like the squid alien baby from Men in Black. After nursing it for a couple of hours, giving it food, and rocking it to sleep, my parents found me. Then I realised it was just celery. Too bad it took that long for my meds to kick in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 013

You deserved it 7 484

Today, while giving a brief presentation at work, I blanked out on what I was going to say. I tried to make a joke and tell them I'd had a brain fart, but all I managed to say was, "I farted." Well, at least they all laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 090

You deserved it 8 705

Today, I rang up a very rude customer. He was covered in cat hair and so were his reusable shopping bags. I’m very allergic to cats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 758

You deserved it 122

Today, my brain is all messed up, and my stomach is churning at the thought of going to school, which starts from tomorrow. I was never like this before the lockdown at least. I liked going to school; now I despise it. My social life is now shit, and I have no idea if my mental health is alright. FML

I agree, your life sucks 924

You deserved it 181

Today, my dad walked in on me using the bathroom. After rushing out, he yelled at me through the door for not locking it. He made up the "no locking the doors inside the house" rule. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 399

You deserved it 3 139