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Be quiet

By type quiet - 11/03/2026 00:00

Today, I have a new coworker. Whenever he types something, he smacks the keyboard like its his wife's ass. It stresses me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 327

You deserved it 115

Keyboard warrior goes clackity clack

By Anonymous - 12/03/2026 20:00

Today, the guy in the cubicle across from me complained about me to our boss. Apparently, his relatives heard me typing something on his daily 8+ hour call to them, and now don't believe he has his own office. My boss took his side and asked me to type quieter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 459

You deserved it 62

Madcap plans

By Anonymous - 14/03/2026 15:00

Today, my wife inherited her grandparents' farm in Hawaii and she is now dead-set on uprooting our kids and everything, and moving the family there. I keep telling her that just isn't feasible or financially possible, but she won't take no for an answer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 381

You deserved it 107

We're open

By Milos Maricic - 16/03/2026 09:00

Today, after six months of building my SaaS (Software as a service) every night after work while juggling life with three kids, I finally launched it. Two months later, it’s still getting almost zero traffic. Turns out building the product was the easy part… getting people to actually visit it is the real nightmare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 321

You deserved it 119

Hang tight

By I’m absolutely terrified!!!!! - 18/03/2026 03:00

Today, I was told I may have ALS. This all started only 3 weeks ago when I saw a speech pathologist for what was supposed to be a super simple, easy to fix issue. I’m now having panic attacks multiple times a day while waiting to see a neurologist to see if I’ll turn into a dumb Stephen Hawking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 384

You deserved it 81

BPD

By The 3 C's of BPD - 19/03/2026 22:00

Today, my boyfriend is blaming me for his recent diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder. Apparently, I should have just kept on tolerating all of his explosive outbursts, instead of "forcing" him to start couples' therapy with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 379

You deserved it 68

Heat of the moment

By Anonymous - 23/03/2025 21:00 - South Africa - Cape Town

Today, I went to my girlfriend's place to have a study session. Her dad was on a business trip but her mom was at home. We studied for about two hours, then we started getting frisky and started undressing and soon started fucking. We were about 20 minutes in when her mom came in and chased me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 118

You deserved it 560

Cursed

By Freddie - 25/03/2025 15:00 - United States - Chattanooga

Today, I went on my first date in months. It was going well until the waiter brought our drinks. I went to take a sip of my cocktail, but I misjudged the size of the glass and the stupid paper straw, and spilled it all over myself. The waiter said, “Well, at least it’s not a first date curse,” and I replied, “Oh, it definitely is.” It was, because I doubt I'll be seeing her again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 327

You deserved it 143

Get me out of here!

By Anonymous - 27/03/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, because I'm still the emergency contact for my ex, I'm waiting to take him home after a routine surgery. I'm also trapped with his potential next girlfriend, who showed up and is trying to become best friends with me. She has giggled after every sentence for the past three hours like she's twelve. FML

I agree, your life sucks 391

You deserved it 137

One lonely Stanley cup

By Anonymous - 29/03/2025 10:00 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, my kids refused to wake up on time, and I was at least 30-45 minutes late to work. Oh, and I forgot to bring my coffee to work. The travel thermos is still sitting on the kitchen counter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 266

You deserved it 348

Reuniting with trauma

By Anonymous - 05/04/2025 03:00 - Sweden

Today, people in my class reunion bullied me because of a skin condition I have called xeroderma pigmentosum. It makes it so that I get sunburned really easily, and they did it just like they did back in middle school. I hated my life then but when I heard them say it again, I just started crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 482

You deserved it 92

Knackered

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I'm being admitted to the hospital for severe exhaustion. Why am I exhausted? For spending 12 hours at the hospital while my sister gave birth. The same hospital I'm being admitted to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 186

You deserved it 6 131

New friend

By Rich - 26/04/2025 08:00 - United Kingdom

Today. after I moved to a new area, I bumped into an old guy on crutches who asked me where the doctor's was. I wasn't sure, so Google Mapped it. I read the map wrong and sent him in the opposite direction. I've seen him twice since and I reckon if he could catch me, he'd kill me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 267

You deserved it 179

Beware!

By MomOfTheYear - 28/04/2025 03:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, I took my toddler to a petting zoo and warned her not to stick her fingers in the goat pen. Two minutes later, I stuck my finger in to pet one, and it bit me. She looked me dead in the eyes and said, “See? I told you.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 78

You deserved it 658

I ain't no hollaback girl

By Anonymous - 03/05/2025 12:00 - United States - Newark

Today, I was walking my dog when a car slowed down, and a guy leaned out of the window, then yelled, "Hey, nice dog!" Naturally, I turned to reply, "Thank you!" only to find that the guy had no intention of complimenting me at all. He had been talking to the dog the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 379

You deserved it 231

Someone check in on this guy

By Klinger - 08/05/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I was in a public restroom and slipped on some soap on the floor while I was washing my hands. As I fell, I grabbed the nearest thing to break my fall, which happened to be the hand dryer. It fell off the wall and hit me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 455

You deserved it 88

Let's pretend this never happened

By Anonymous - 10/05/2025 15:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, I ran into an old friend in a grocery store. We both went in for a hug, but at the exact same moment we both leaned in for a cheek kiss. We ended up awkwardly smashing faces together and then slowly pulling away, silently pretending that whatever that was didn’t just happen. We haven’t spoken since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 343

You deserved it 128

WTF?

By Anonymous - 14/05/2025 09:00 - Philippines

Today, with a nagging feeling about my girlfriend cheating on me, I decided to look through her phone. She walked in on me, and before I could come up with an excuse, she rolled her eyes and said, "Go ahead. The only things I have to hide are saucy pics of Darth Maul." FML

I agree, your life sucks 77

You deserved it 758

Roomba shuffle

By Anonymous - 17/05/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I came home to shredded tissues all over the floor. I yelled at my dog, who looked guilty but confused. Turns out, it wasn’t him, it was my robot vacuum cleaner again. It had sucked up a bunch of tissues and napkins from under the couch and then spread them all over the place like confetti. I owe my dog an apology. FML

I agree, your life sucks 107

You deserved it 524

Crushed

By DeniedBoi - 24/05/2025 18:00 - United States

Today, the girl I’ve had a crush on for months told me she scored a Tinder date and she’s so excited to go out with him. Just last week, I worked up the courage to ask her to be my girlfriend and she told me she doesn’t want a relationship, and “doesn’t believe in love anymore.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 407

You deserved it 192

Mean girls

By ToxicFriends - 26/05/2025 20:00 - Germany

Today, a mama from my daughter's class has been talking nicely with me, and we've been friends for the past year, going to the playground and library together regularly. Now, all of a sudden, she has stopped talking or going out with us for no reason. I don't know if my daughter and I are both back in school now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 374

You deserved it 88

Bet!

By Anonymous - 28/05/2025 21:00 - China - Wuhan

Today, I made a bet with my classmate that I would dare to play a weird song in front of the professor. I did, and as promised, she was supposed to give me $20, but she said it was just a joke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 206

You deserved it 351

Bitch better have my money

By Anonymous - 30/05/2025 08:00

Today, a customer has been tanking my business online, claiming I’m a fraud and stole her money. She ordered a painted copy of one of her wedding photos and was mad she couldn’t pick it up that same afternoon. Do you have any idea how long portraits take to paint? Longer than two hours I can tell you. FML

I agree, your life sucks 545

You deserved it 59

Sleep it off

By Anonymous - 01/06/2025 02:00 - United Kingdom

Today, some woman ran up, hugged me from behind, and called me another dude's name. When she saw my face, she apologised for getting the wrong person, and ran off. Perfectly innocent, right? Nope. My wife is forcing me to sleep in another room until I admit I’m having an affair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 565

You deserved it 65

Friends with unclear benefits

By LizzoGirl - 02/06/2025 14:00 - United States

Today, the guy who friendzoned me asked me why I’ve been acting distant towards him. I told him that I refuse to give boyfriend benefits to someone who made it clear that we’re just friends any longer. He responded with, “Well, if you weren’t built like Lizzo before her weight loss, I wouldn’t have friendzoned you!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 533

You deserved it 238

What is happening?

By Anonymous - 04/06/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, it's been three days since I noticed mysterious bumps on my arms, on the same day my dad, who I lived with, petted dogs and might've brought in fleas. The first two days were harmless skin conditions. The third day was bug bites. They always appeared overnight when I slept and they weren't bed bugs, I checked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 328

You deserved it 81

Tapped out

By Anonymous - 06/06/2025 08:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I fitted a new shower hose and head, and it went perfectly, until it sprang a leak in the middle of the night, which completely missed the bath and went right onto the floor. We were asleep, so it went for hours, half the house is now soaking wet, and will need redecorating and new carpets FML

I agree, your life sucks 398

You deserved it 102

Kinda mid

By Anonymous - 07/06/2025 18:00 - Canada - Surrey

Today, I don't know, I guess I'm just tired. Like everything I have done has been for nothing. Yet I can't seem to quit, it's like this is what I was meant for, to just suffer, I had absolutely nothing to do on a Thursday, All I do is go to the gym and come home, and just watch the paint dry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 266

You deserved it 257

Well hung

By Anonymous - 09/06/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I tried to hang a new shelf in my apartment. I measured, drilled, and installed it perfectly level, only to realize a few minutes later I'd drilled into the side of a pipe. Water started shooting out like a geyser and almost flooded my bathroom. My shelf looks great, though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 157

You deserved it 504

Happy pride month?

By CuckedByIncognito - 13/06/2025 05:00 - United States - Harker Heights

Today, I realized my husband’s true “ride or die” is his dick. He’s posted it online, cammed with strangers, and fantasized about men, while I raised our kids, did IVF alone, and stayed loyal through deployments. He says he loves me. I’m not the gender of his fantasies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 362

You deserved it 114

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The Top

Today, I was at a mall. A woman stopped by me, said slowly and loudly, in Spanish "baño?" Knowing a bit of Spanish, I nodded and pointed the restrooms out for her. She then mutters about "dang Mexicans and their inability to speak English". I'm not even Latina. I'm Irish-American. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 126

You deserved it 4 181

Today, up until now, my baby sister has happily had over 100 sexual partners and has never had an STI or gotten pregnant. I had sex once in college, got pregnant with twins, caught syphilis ,and none of the men in our town ever looked at me sexually again. It’s been 17 years since I had sex that one time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 276

You deserved it 450

Today, I went to the bank to deposit the cash I made waiting tables. While the teller was counting, I apologized for having so many small bills. She said "It's OK honey, I helped another one of your kind just the other day. You're lucky we take your dirty money." She thought I was a stripper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 372

You deserved it 4 594

Today, I decided to smoke a cigarette while I was driving to work. I was also eating french fries during the drive. I had never realized how much a cigarette feels like a french fry. In conclusion, cigarettes don't taste very good when you bite into them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 160

You deserved it 111 393

Today, I planned my own wedding down to the very last detail, including favours for my guests, the sweets buffet and the bouquet of flower brooches I want. Too bad I'm still single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 867

You deserved it 37 810

Today, a guy took me to meet his parents on a second date. I stopped answering his calls afterwards, but he's just left me a voice-mail informing me that he's in love with me. I'm scared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 239

You deserved it 8 947