The Top

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What? WHAT?

By Shannon - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, while at a hotel for vacation with my brother and his wife, I was watching their two month-old daughter in the waterpark when a woman came up to me and said, "Aww, your kid is so adorable! Don't worry, you'll get your figure back in no time." I'm a fourteen year-old girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 017

You deserved it 5 380

Got talent?

By sorrygrandma - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, our school chorus went to a senior citizens' home. An elderly lady died during my solo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 975

You deserved it 4 286

Late

By unemployed - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I drove two and a half hours to a job interview. The interviewer never showed up or called. I sat in the hotel lobby waiting for an hour and a half. Even the hotel staff said they felt sorry for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 229

You deserved it 2 766

You gotta be kidding me?

By mammasboy - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Springfield

Today, my mom scolded me and threatened to ground me for coming home past midnight. Normally, it wouldn't be unreasonable, except for the fact that I'm 24 years-old, and that my parents live with me, in my own house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 397

You deserved it 5 459

Demon child

By thatoneguy - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, a five year-old that I am babysitting picked up a knife and said he would chop my nuts off if I didn't give him his ice cream before dinner. Only 5 more hours to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 763

You deserved it 3 528

Hoarded in

By nola2005 - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, as my gaze went from the cobwebs hanging from my ceiling to the opened and unopened Amazon boxes in the corners of my house, I realized I'm on my way to being a hoarder. I'm too tired and depressed to do anything about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 715

You deserved it 694

Slobber

By Sad_Happy_Gorl - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, after getting together with the guy who I like, and who actually likes me back, he finally kissed me. Unfortunately, he kisses like he’s trying to suck out my soul. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 985

You deserved it 297

Plumbing issues

By thirddegreeburned - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Monroe

Today, I finally made the connection between people in my apartment building flushing their toilets, and my running shower water becoming scalding hot. This wouldn't be quite as bad if there weren't six floors to the building, with twenty units on each. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 541

You deserved it 2 683

At last!

By All Dressed Up With No Place To Go - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Ashland

Today, I finally lost enough weight to fit into the beautiful dress that I ordered for my senior prom. I graduated from high school in 2010. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 724

You deserved it 5 044

Jog on

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, feeling out of shape, I went for a jog. I got mugged. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 735

You deserved it 2 978

Relatable

By ayeayeboy19 - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Edinburgh

Today, I was watching "My Strange Addiction". The woman featured ate rocks. While judging her weird habit, I realised I was chewing on a coat-hanger the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 134

You deserved it 14 488

Not on the weekend

By jtaylor94 - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, my dad's boss called our house and I answered. He said, "Is your dad home?" I replied, "I'll go check." I put the phone on mute and asked my dad if he wanted to talk to his boss. My dad says, "Does that asshole not have a life?" Turns out the phone wasn't on mute, it was on speaker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 504

You deserved it 43 177

Unionize!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - West Hartford

Today, I found out the unionized cleaning people that empty the garbage and clean the toilets make $19/hr and have more paid time off than I do with my college degree. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 754

You deserved it 7 530

Maddening

By ballnchain - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my insanely jealous wife flipped out and made me promise never to hug any of my female friends or go to lunch with them, ever. It's "cheating." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 934

You deserved it 20 121

Left behind

By happysingleone - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff

Today, the last of my college friends is getting married and now I'm the last single one. Don't worry though, if one ever gets a divorce we can hang out again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 124

You deserved it 1 193

GHOSTS!

By fml_anon - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - London

Today, I had to spend a depressingly long time convincing my 29-year-old husband that our house isn't haunted and that the door slammed shut because it was windy outside. I repeat, "29-year-old husband" and "haunted". It's like I'm married to a child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 452

You deserved it 4 428

Keep it down

By Andy - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Canada - Toronto

Today, I attended a formal banquet. The host was delivering a speech, when I felt the urge to pee, so I tried to quietly excuse myself. My chair screeched over the floor as I got up, I tripped over my own feet, and I accidentally took the door leading outdoors, where I ended up peeing in shame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 824

You deserved it 4 546

Just a friend

By UnluckyTh1rteen - This FML is from back in 2020 but it's good stuff - United States - New York

Today, my boyfriend went to get coffee with a friend. As a joke, I texted him to ask how his date with his other girlfriend was going. It really was a date, and apparently it went very well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 207

You deserved it 287

End of the line

By almost - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, I waited 75 minutes for a rollercoaster. I got on the front seat and it broke a few seconds before it started. It was closed for the rest of the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 667

You deserved it 398

Wet leg

By meep - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, as I was walking to wash my hands after using the restroom, the guy walking away from the sink flicked water from his hands towards the floor. Water splashed all over my beige shorts. I had to walk back into class looking like I'd peed my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 085

You deserved it 497

NSFW FML

By Fireguy92 - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Dewitt

Today, as a firefighter, we were called to assist the ambulance crew with lifting a deceased patient out of a house. Little did I know, he had been dead inside for 3 weeks, and was bloated and popped like a water balloon when we attempted to move him. My girlfriend made soup for the evening meal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 174

You deserved it 2 656

Outcasts

By Deadpool - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff - United States - Weaverville

Today, it appears that the cousin who burglarized my house and threatened to kill my wife, daughter, and me during a meth binge is more welcome at a family reunion than we are. We were assured last year by family that this wouldn't happen, because we are "good people who have wronged no one." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 626

You deserved it 288

Slippery slope

By ur_life_dus_suck - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Wayne

Today, my mom celebrated a year's sobriety by having a couple of beers with her boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 596

You deserved it 1 755

Tis the season to be…

By HelloItsMee123 - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, I had routine surgery and should have been discharged on the same day. Now due to an avoidable mistake the surgeon made I'll be staying in hospital over Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 871

You deserved it 503

Fair and balanced

By faeliality - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I discovered that yes, you CAN forget how to ride a bike. Too bad I discovered this in front of all my son's friends and their parents while at his birthday party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 301

You deserved it 1 574

Happy memories

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, on our first holiday together, my boyfriend decided to spend his time reminiscing about having come here once with his ex. He then decided to go type up an email to her about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 560

You deserved it 2 271

Oi! Get back here!

By magicman - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, while buying groceries, I noticed that the lady in front of me had left a box behind. I grabbed the box and ran out the door after her. After turning around to find three employees chasing me, I noticed I had just stolen the donation box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 868

You deserved it 17 712

Oh no, oh no no no

By lauziej93 - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Spain - Logroño

Today, my mother-in-law became my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 243

You deserved it 2 040

Whodunnit

By emily - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my cellphone was stolen. I work in a morgue. By myself. Obviously it wasn't stolen by any of those people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 421

You deserved it 4 365

Pain like no one has ever seen before

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I found out how it feels to get your nut-sack caught in a belt buckle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 352

You deserved it 5 869

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, a parent was too busy texting to notice her child had run in front of a moving truck. She did however see me grab the child's backpack to yank him back out of traffic. She then screamed at me for "manhandling" her child and demanded I be fired. It's not even my school; I'm a part time sub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 117

You deserved it 1 682

Today, my 18 year old son learned that just because his girlfriend was on top doesn't mean gravity will prevent her from becoming pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 095

You deserved it 6 305

Today, we had company over, and after dinner, I saw a package of gumballs sitting on the table. Figuring my brother had brought them, I took one and bit it. I got a bunch of weird looks. Turns out wasn't a gumball - it was a mini paintball. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 792

You deserved it 30 334

Today, someone left a note on the front door saying, "Let's play Hide and Seek". Whoever left the note apparently took the wheels off my truck and scattered them. So far, I've found one in my pool, and two outside my neighbor's house. I still can't find the last one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 537

You deserved it 178

Today, I found out that the neighborhood call-girl my husband and I secretly joke about is the same woman who secretly pleasures my husband for money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 754

You deserved it 6 183

Today, I'm exhausted. My antidepressants ran out, making me overreact to everything. My friends dragged me into really childish drama, resulting in me ditching them. Then my work laptop broke on the most important day of my project. Then I got my first break from work in about a year… and woke up with COVID. FML

I agree, your life sucks 763

You deserved it 160