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Teenage riot

By turdtonomor9 - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I agreed to help out my 4-year crush with his senior prank which is to pretend we are dating for one day to freak everyone out. Glad to know dating me is prank worthy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 232

You deserved it 9 616

Concentrate!

By Clowning - 03/05/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I was at a job interview. I was doing OK until I reached the part where I had to do a demo. As I lifted my arms, I my shirt got caught on the button of my pants, exposing my belly button. I tried to discreetly adjust, I ended up getting way too distracted mid-demonstration. The interviewer looked at me like I was a circus act. FML

I agree, your life sucks 444

You deserved it 131

Revealing

By Anonymous - 08/05/2025 08:00

Today, I am fuming. We went to the beach in the sunny weather and my husband finally got round to posting the pictures on Facebook. In one of them I’m sunbathing and one of my fanny lips was hanging completely out the edge of my bikini. FML

I agree, your life sucks 416

You deserved it 215

Pest control

By Anonymous - 11/05/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I realized I’m living with a complete moron. I moved in thinking it was gonna be smooth but nope. Dude thought it was okay to put mothballs INSIDE THE FUCKING HOUSE to help with roaches. Who the fuck does that? FML

I agree, your life sucks 153

You deserved it 443

Late afternoon drifting

By TheStingStings - 15/05/2025 11:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I had another phone call with my mother; she has rapid onset dementia, and never gets my name right anymore. Already terrible, but she consistently calls me by my abusive ex-partner’s name instead of my own, so I get double trauma. Obviously F her life, but also FML

I agree, your life sucks 590

You deserved it 102

Was it worth it?

By Anonymous - 20/05/2025 21:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my wife has been super into sex lately, she even let me try some of the stuff she said no to before, and even surprised me with some of the kinky stuff she’s always wanted to try. Sounds great, right? Nope. Turns out she was overcompensating from the guilt of also fucking my coworker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 695

You deserved it 112

Truth hurts

By markerThief - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Apple Valley

Today, I jokingly told my friend that I was the kid who stole his brand new glow-in-the-dark markers back in kindergarten. Now he's ignoring my texts and calls and says we're through. So much for our twelve years of friendship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 832

You deserved it 11 391

Overenthusiastic

By Anonymous - 09/06/2025 08:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I tried to pick my wife up and put her on the worktop for some oral fun, and when I say "tried" I mean I failed. My back spasmed for the first time in my life and I sort of threw her into the fridge door. I’m now in agony, she’s mad that I “think she’s fat”, and the fridge has a dent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 389

You deserved it 134

On the internet, nobody knows you're a dog

By Anonymous - 10/06/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, it's been a year since I met a guy online. We clicked almost immediately. Eventually we started dating, after proving who we are through many sources. Turns out he lied about his age after he conspired to make sure I was 100% in love with him before telling me the truth. He's legal but the age gap is uncomfortable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 478

You deserved it 125

Multitasking

By Anonymous - 14/06/2025 20:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, during an online class, I forgot to mute myself while trying to get my dog to poop. The whole class, including my professor, heard me sing “Push It” by Salt-N-Pepa to motivate her. They all had many questions when I came back on camera. FML

I agree, your life sucks 106

You deserved it 506

It's all too much

By Anonymous - 16/06/2025 06:00 - United States

Today, I came home to my wife who was drunk and sobbing. I’d left her alone with my kids from my first marriage along with ours and I guess they acted up so bad they made her break her sobriety. FML

I agree, your life sucks 407

You deserved it 215

Push it!

By Stace - 21/06/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I was lifting weights at the gym and felt proud of myself for pushing through a tough set. Then, I looked down and noticed my shorts had ripped right along the seam. Based on their disgusted faces, everyone behind me got an unwelcome show. FML

I agree, your life sucks 362

You deserved it 117

Productivity rules

By emily anne - 28/06/2025 17:00 - United States

Today, while working at my concessions stand job, I was filling up popcorn boxes when my boss came over and told me I needed to be filling the boxes “a LOT faster.” I was going as fast as I possibly could. FML

I agree, your life sucks 390

You deserved it 138

Surveillance state

By Anonymous - 18/07/2025 09:00 - United States - Edison

Today, I was watching our home security cameras from work when I saw my husband get home and grab a beer. I activated the camera microphone and told him to put it back and fold the laundry. He flipped off the camera, chugged the beer, and started jacking off on the living room sofa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 88

You deserved it 1 106

Don't look

By Anonymous - 23/07/2025 18:00 - United States

Today, I realized that my sense of attraction is so incredibly messed up and geeky that I found the "Rib Woman" monster in the World Of Horror game that I play fascinating. Do not look up what she looks like, you will be unhappy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 137

You deserved it 318

Busted up

By KittyT - 27/07/2025 23:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I learnt my health is so messed up that a private clinic gave me my money back out of sympathy because they couldn't do a procedure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 358

You deserved it 87

So, when a man loves a woman…

By Gwen - 01/08/2025 21:00 - Russia - Kolomna

Today, I'm really puzzled about explaining what he saw to our 6-year old. So, he walked in on us mid-sex, which itself would be barely acceptable if there were only the two of us, his married parents, but actually a dead drunk threesome between my husband, his best male friend, and me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 95

You deserved it 598

Back to square one

By Anonymous - 05/08/2025 15:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, I was colouring countries on a map on my computer whilst listening to music. I was almost done when, whilst swinging my legs to the beat, my leg caught on the computer’s power cord and pulled it out. I was so caught up in the job I hadn’t saved in a while, so all my progress went up in digital smoke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 200

You deserved it 366

Change of plans

By Somebody fucking kill me! - 12/08/2025 05:00 - Mexico

Today, as I was going to hook up with a sex friend, I discovered that my pack of condoms was missing. Then I saw my sister chewing out her two 10-year-old twins, who'd found them in my drawer. This how my family, who had visited me for family dinner, found out about my sexual life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 278

You deserved it 121

It's gone woke

By Scrafty - 31/08/2025 18:00 - United States - Mount Airy

Today, they introduced a mega evolved form of my favorite Pokémon, but it looks like a Ku Klux Klan member. FML

I agree, your life sucks 307

You deserved it 170

Struggling

By Anonymous - 04/09/2025 08:00 - United States

Today, I started my senior year of high school. Every guy I try to get with immediately loses interest and runs off when they learn I have a one year-old son. It’s not fair I have to deny my baby boy just to find happiness. FML

I agree, your life sucks 182

You deserved it 1 087

Unreliable

By ForeverAlone - 16/09/2025 22:00

Today, my boyfriend begged me to spend an extra night at his house. I agreed, cancelled my Uber, and arranged for my pets to be cared for, since I wasn't coming home. Five minutes later, he decided that he had to work tonight instead. Then he got angry at me for leaving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 388

You deserved it 64

DDLG

By Anonymous - 20/09/2025 12:00

Today, I accidentally said "Yes Daddy” to my boyfriend while at dinner with his parents. They threw me out. My boyfriend did nothing to defend me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 171

You deserved it 518

At this point, it's just self-sabotage

By Just be a man - 10/10/2025 00:00

Today, I find video games very unattractive and unmanly. I told a great guy that he had to choose between me and his video games, and he immediately told me he chose video games, then asked me to leave. Whatever, loser. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85

You deserved it 1 705

Surprised indeed

By Wuuut - 30/10/2025 09:00

Today, I decided to surprise my girlfriend by showing up at her place with flowers and dinner. She opened the door wearing pajamas… and standing next to her was another guy wearing the same pajamas. They both looked at me like I was the intruder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 557

You deserved it 75

Romance is dead

By Mom - 08/11/2025 03:00

Today, my daughter came over, furiously ranting that her husband had asked for a divorce. During the conversation, I asked what she did to make him happy. She glared at me and yelled, "It's not my job to make my husband happy!" I'm on her husband's side after that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 418

You deserved it 200

Classic

By Mortified - 09/11/2025 22:00

Today, I tried to secretly take a photo of a cute guy on the train. I forgot my flash was on. He looked straight at me, smirked, and said, “If you wanted my picture, you could’ve just asked.” I got off three stops early. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55

You deserved it 554

What is going on?

By Anonymous - 18/11/2025 20:00

Today, I was in a quiet meeting on Teams using noise-cancelling AirPods when my coworkers started giggling. I assumed someone’s mic was acting up. Turns out, my mic was on, and the mysterious squeaking noise was my chair… or so I thought. Nope. My dog was also behind me licking a balloon for some reason. FML

I agree, your life sucks 289

You deserved it 91

Help is needed

By Anonymous - 24/11/2025 03:00

Today, was just another exhausting day in which I cater to the needs of my kids, my cat, and my boss. I work opposite hours from my wife, we barely have energy to catch up and plan chores. I sleep 5 hours a day tops and have to work out daily so my back doesn't hurt. I'm burned out. I don't know what I need but I need it now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 406

You deserved it 92

Don't do this sort of shit

By Ouch - 29/12/2025 15:00

Today, I got in the car with some friends, only to realize none of them were wearing seat belts. They heckled me until I took mine off, then the driver slammed on the brakes and I hit the dash. They'd all known it was coming and braced themselves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 169

You deserved it 600

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, after weeks of money slowly disappearing from the stash in my bedroom, I confronted my son about it. I'm not sure which is worse: that my son is a thief or that he actually blamed his father for it. We've been divorced and haven't spoken for eight years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 324

You deserved it 4 462

Today, I graduated from college and my parents gave me an apple. Not the computer, the fruit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 256

You deserved it 5 652

Today, I was having sex with a girl. While we were fooling around, she started squeezing my cheeks and told me I remind her of her son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 643

You deserved it 3 648

Today, I got up early in the morning to get a snack, only to walk in on my "vegan" housemate eating a turkey sandwich. This bastard harasses me every other day about my meat-eating, but all he could do after he noticed me was drop the sandwich and claim he'd been sleepwalking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 351

You deserved it 3 520

Today, on this edition of me getting pimples in painful or uncomfortable places, I got a huge one on the side of my neck. I never thought that simply turning my head would be such a horrendously painful task. Also, the afflicted area of my neck suddenly itches like crazy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 797

You deserved it 112

Today, I got a text from my girlfriend saying she needed more phone credit, so I bought her more and got another message saying "Great, now I have enough credit for this..." as she spelled out a three page message breaking up with me. Yes, I paid for her to break up with me via text. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 882

You deserved it 8 160