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Simply having a wonderful Xmas time!

By Anonymous - 10/12/2025 09:00

Today, I came home and told my husband that I got my own Christmas present so he would have something to give me at the family gathering. He asked me if it was wrapped. I said it was. He said, "Nice." No follow up questions at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 320

You deserved it 108

Discord and discontent

By Anonymous - 06/12/2025 22:00

Today, I woke up to find myself permanently banned from Discord for “minimum age requirements.” I’m 20. Yesterday, someone on Discord DM’d me asking me how many eggs were in a dozen and I answered by saying 12, and the next day my account is banned. Discord will not reinstate my account, even after appealing the ban. FML

I agree, your life sucks 349

You deserved it 86

Totally worth it

By Sarah - 10/12/2025 12:00

Today, I tried to sneak into the kitchen for a midnight snack. I stubbed my toe so hard on a stool leg, I yelped then tried to keep as quiet as possible. My mom came running, thinking our cat and dog were fighting and hissing again. I hobbled back to bed, only to realize I didn't actually get any food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92

You deserved it 239

Coming and going

By Anonymous - 07/12/2025 00:00

Today, after my relationship ended in a shambles, my partner finally moved out and we were broken up, now, just as I started talking to others and feeling OK with being alone, she revealed that the break was temporary and that she has to move back in temporarily. FML

I agree, your life sucks 226

You deserved it 260

Never? Never ever?

By Blue balls forever - 08/12/2025 20:00

Today, I tried to talk to my wife about our lack of sex lately. Apparently, her therapist told her that her high libido and eagerness to experiment came from her early childhood issues, so now she's working through her trauma and will never want sex again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 213

You deserved it 60

Please be happy

By Anonymous - 10/12/2025 15:00

Today, I went all out for my husband on our anniversary. I planned meals, took him to a stage show, and got him a bottle of cologne he loves. He was moody, distant, and at one point crying. Why? He found out his ex-wife is getting married today and he couldn’t stop thinking about her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 441

You deserved it 72

Save the Roland Jupiter-8, save the world

By Sara - 12/12/2025 09:00

Today, I was setting up my keyboard when the stand came loose. The keyboard started to fall, so I tried to save it, held it up in the air, and ended up falling off the stool onto the floor. I’ll feel that tomorrow, but at least the keyboard survived. FML

I agree, your life sucks 196

You deserved it 53

Dad of the week

By Fuck u brian - 07/12/2025 03:00

Today, I picked up my son, who was recently diagnosed with ARFID (avoidant/restrictive food intake disorder), from my ex-husband. My ex said, "Yeah, he's over that bullshit eating thing. I told him no video games or TV unless he tried something new at every meal." I hate this smug fucking prick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 164

You deserved it 588

Give us both pain meds, please

By It hurts - 08/12/2025 22:00

Today, I took my dog to the vet. Wanting to seem like a responsible owner, I lifted him onto the exam table. My back then cracked loudly, I dropped him, and he ran straight into a trash can. The vet sighed and asked, “Rough day for both of you?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 288

You deserved it 95

No biggie

By Anonymous - 12/12/2025 12:00

Today, on a flight, a woman in a crop top reached up to get her bag from the overhead locker and her breasts ended up on top of my head for like a second. Total accident, no biggie. That was six days ago, we fly home tomorrow, and my wife hasn’t spoken a word to me since the breast thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 369

You deserved it 57

Climax

By Hungry - 09/12/2025 00:00

Today, my husband managed to make Chipotle's beef barbacoa recipe perfectly in our kitchen. I couldn't stop eating, it tasted so good. Then I realized this is the most pleasure he's brought me in the six years we've been together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 294

You deserved it 168

Confused

By I…… - 10/12/2025 20:00

Today, I ran into someone at a party I thought was a coworker and started talking to them about the company we work for. He listened to me for a bit, then said, “I think you think I’m someone else.” I apologized to this total stranger, walked away, and spent the rest of the party avoiding him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 189

You deserved it 136

Evil is amongst us

By Anonymous - 12/12/2025 15:00

Today, I had to sit and listen to a coworker tell me about how disappointed she is her daughter is a lesbian and wondering if anyone still does those "pray it away" camps. I work in HR so I couldn’t even call her an evil, bigoted witch, because I know I’m the one who’d lose my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 262

You deserved it 99

Rip it up and start again

By Anonymous - 07/12/2025 09:00

Today, I realised I have no friends circle to call my own, no motivation to conquer the day, and no confidence to put my life back together, all because I failed the test that could get me closer to my dream job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 277

You deserved it 117

Recluse

By Anonymous - 09/12/2025 03:00

Today, I realized I am the neighborhood pariah. I have a vaca house on a lake, and every year the neighborhood holds a Friendsgiving Party. I wasn't invited. I only found out it that it happened when I saw the Facebook photos. I have no idea why I was excluded. I must be the world's biggest a-hole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 268

You deserved it 120

Not now, Mon!

By Anonymous - 10/12/2025 22:00

Today, I tried to show my boss a funny photo on my phone. As I handed it over, a notification popped up from my mom that said, “Did you finally meet a nice boy or are you still feral?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 291

You deserved it 82

Buzzed

By Head Cold - 07/12/2025 12:00

Today, after I watched my girlfriend get her head shaved in preparation for chemo a few days ago, I took the clippers and buzzed my long, well kept hair, gave her a loving hug, reminding her that, "We're at this together." She later broke up with me because I, pretty much, "look like shit." FML

I agree, your life sucks 527

You deserved it 105

Misophonia

By Blech - 07/12/2025 15:00

Today, I was supervising a training exercise at work, where everyone had to wear microphones. One guy was congested and I got to hear six hours of sniffling, snorting, coughing, throat clearing, and mucus blowing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 315

You deserved it 66

Room by room

By Anonymous - 09/12/2025 09:00

Today, we're a family of four moving houses. My husband wants me to copy each room and move it to the new house, paste it there. Literally. He doesn't understand why it's impossible with kids to have the bedroom at one house and bathroom at another. According to him, we can fully finish this move in four days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 287

You deserved it 93

WAKEY WAKEY

By mindy - 11/12/2025 03:00

Today, I set my phone alarm to play a calm piano song so I’d wake up peacefully. Instead, Bluetooth connected to the speaker in my roommate’s room and blasted my alarm at full volume at 6 a.m. for both of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 106

You deserved it 279

I'm out

By Anonymous - 12/12/2025 22:00

Today, is another day that my wife will choose anything over sex. I don't want to flirt with her anymore. If I can't have a normal sex life, I would rather embrace celibacy. I love her and was flirting with her daily up until now, but if she needs some other kind of confirmation to feel sexy, she can go ahead and find it. I'm done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 110

You deserved it 51

Classic

By Anonymous - 09/12/2025 12:00

Today, I tried to quietly leave a meeting early by slowly backing my chair away from the table. One wheel got stuck, the chair flipped, and I took the loudest fall of my life in total silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 111

You deserved it 310

Sir, this is a Wendy's

By Anonymous - 11/12/2025 09:00

Today, I've been waiting nearly three days for my Amazon delivery order. I knew that Christmas orders were going to swamp Amazon, so I bought two gift cards and a CD that my mom specifically wanted ahead of time. I purchased them on the 4th to be safe. It's now the 10th, I've been charged, but no sign of my order. FML

I agree, your life sucks 128

You deserved it 212

Heavy sleeper

By Anonymous - 13/12/2025 03:00

Today, I was startled awake by some overzealous do-gooder trying to shove Narcan up my nose. I wasn’t OD’ing. I don’t even do drugs. I’m just an exhausted full-time student with a night job trying to get home on the bus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 176

You deserved it 48

You've got this

By Winning - 07/12/2025 22:00

Today, I practiced a presentation in the work toilet mirror. When it was time to present, I accidentally repeated my “mirror pep talk” out loud: “You are powerful. You are unstoppable.” My coworkers stared like I was summoning spirits before a spreadsheet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 112

You deserved it 322

Decorum and etiquette

By Anonymous - 11/12/2025 12:00

Today. I used the restroom at the mall. After I wiped, I went to toss the paper into the toilet. I missed horribly. The wad of TP with poop on it landed on the floor of the next stall. It was occupied. FML

I agree, your life sucks 90

You deserved it 394

Good luck with that, Carol

By Tired Barista - 08/12/2025 00:00

Today, this lady came in my Starbucks and once again asked if we have the glass teddy bear cup. That cup has been sold out for the past month or so. We explained, once again, that the cup was a “while supplies last” item. She screamed at us and threatened to sue if we “ruin her daughter’s Christmas.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 350

You deserved it 69

Love life struggles

By ihatemyself07 - 09/12/2025 20:00

Today, I came to terms with the fact that in order to get a boyfriend, I need to slim down. When I put full-body shots on dating apps, I get swiped left on. But when I put headshots, I get matches. And lots of them. But I can’t catfish these dudes. Time to go on a diet and hit the gym. It’s not fair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 167

You deserved it 362

Bled dry

By Anonymous - 11/12/2025 15:00

Today, my ex-husband stopped paying his child support so when I phoned to threaten him with lawyers, he didn’t care. Apparently, he lost his job months ago and has been paying me out of his savings, but now he has absolutely nothing left I can take away from him. Now I feel bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 137

You deserved it 415

Showtime!

By Anonymous - 13/12/2025 09:00

Today, my daughter decided to make popcorn and for some reason she thought the bag of seeds was for one portion's worth, so she poured the whole damn bag into our popcorn maker and filled half the kitchen floor. It now smells like a cinema lobby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71

You deserved it 36

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The Top

Today, my date and I went to the movies. After the date, we were both on an instant chat room at our homes. Her personal message displayed "I think I love my ex again." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 640

You deserved it 3 046

Today, I was at the mall in a store looking at movie posters. I turned around and suddenly saw a creepy guy smiling at me, holding his arms out wide. I screamed, "Holy shit!" really loudly, causing everyone to stop and stare at me funny. Then I realized the creepy man was a cardboard cutout. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 778

You deserved it 45 407

Today, my dad refused to sign a student finance form to allow me to study my dream subject at university because he doesn't want the government knowing his business. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 698

You deserved it 417

Today, I tried to pick up a girl by asking her what the time was as a conversation starter. She responded by telling me it was time to pick a girl more in my league. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 076

You deserved it 9 254

Today, while masturbating, I got a huge migraine so I went into the kitchen to get an Advil. As I was getting it, my family was staring at me and I couldn't figure out why. I walked out and realized that I hadn't put my pants back on. I just walked downstairs fully torqued in front of my family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 643

You deserved it 2 703

Today, I went to see a house for rent. The owner ended up being a person whom I denied renting to a long time ago, because I thought she was sketchy looking. Apparently she’s the CEO of a company now. She definitely recognized me and kicked me off the premises. FML

I agree, your life sucks 351

You deserved it 1 437