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Thanks, asshole

By God dammit - 06/12/2025 20:00

Today, the new guy at my workplace was on his phone so much that he has become solely responsible for a new rule: no one is allowed to have their phone on their person, except on breaks. So, I guess that if my severely disabled mom ever has an emergency at home, she'll have to fend for herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 335

You deserved it 70

Totally worth it

By Sarah - 10/12/2025 12:00

Today, I tried to sneak into the kitchen for a midnight snack. I stubbed my toe so hard on a stool leg, I yelped then tried to keep as quiet as possible. My mom came running, thinking our cat and dog were fighting and hissing again. I hobbled back to bed, only to realize I didn't actually get any food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61

You deserved it 150

None taken

By Sorry, guys - 13/11/2025 20:00

Today, it’s officially been 37 days since my fiance has seen me naked and longer than that since he’s tried to give me an orgasm. I’ve lost track of how long it’s been. I don’t want to end up like the people on here talking about sexless marriages for years and decades before we’re even married. No offense. FML

I agree, your life sucks 256

You deserved it 91

Are you for real?

By Anonymous - 15/11/2025 15:00

Today, as revenge for cheating on her, my now-ex girlfriend sent pictures of me at a Halloween party to my boss and the HR department. I'm in blackface. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86

You deserved it 1 149

Knock knock

By Concerned - 19/11/2025 03:00

Today, I thought my neighbors were having a loud argument, so I went to knock on their door to make sure everything was OK. They weren’t fighting, they were rehearsing lines for a community theater play. They invited me to the show. I still haven’t recovered from the embarrassment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 313

You deserved it 170

Booze is bad

By Eight months on the lease left - 24/11/2025 12:00

Today, I caught my boyfriend drunkenly pissing out the window. Apparently, I should be happy he pissed out the window instead of just wetting the bed. When I suggested he drink less, he got furious and yelled that I might be a lesbian, since I apparently want him to be a "pansy girly bitch boy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 85

You must be joking

By Harrold - 28/11/2025 00:00

Today, my new wife and I got home from our honeymoon, and not an hour later she'd sat me down for a talk, saying, "Now that you're married you've got to act the part and give up this silly nonsense," then banned me from seeing my friends, playing video games, and basically everything else I ever enjoyed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 606

You deserved it 133

Thanks not given much

By Anonymous - 29/11/2025 20:00

Today, I sadly woke to a realization: Even on Thanksgiving and my baby girl's birthday, their dad's idea of a family day is constantly sitting there "trying to feel less sick" and just ignore us all, or as he says it, "time is all out" and playing Pokemon GO. Awesome. If I say anything, he threatens to leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 329

You deserved it 124

Neat freak

By Carrie - 01/12/2025 15:00

Today, I cleaned my car for the first time in ages and proudly showed my friend how spotless it was. Right then, a gust of wind blew a huge mess of shit straight inside as I opened the door. She said, “Nature disagrees.” Shards of leaves and other bits of crap were everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 296

You deserved it 86

Better happy and fat

By Anonymous - 05/12/2025 03:00

Today, I've zero motivation to even live life. I've stopped doing even the little things I like. My husband tries hard to cheer me up and keep things going, but I just want to curl into a ball and die. I'm too scared to take depression medication as it makes me fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 260

You deserved it 334

Discord and discontent

By Anonymous - 06/12/2025 22:00

Today, I woke up to find myself permanently banned from Discord for “minimum age requirements.” I’m 20. Yesterday, someone on Discord DM’d me asking me how many eggs were in a dozen and I answered by saying 12, and the next day my account is banned. Discord will not reinstate my account, even after appealing the ban. FML

I agree, your life sucks 333

You deserved it 84

Please be happy

By Anonymous - 10/12/2025 15:00

Today, I went all out for my husband on our anniversary. I planned meals, took him to a stage show, and got him a bottle of cologne he loves. He was moody, distant, and at one point crying. Why? He found out his ex-wife is getting married today and he couldn’t stop thinking about her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 231

You deserved it 42

Unusual home dynamic

By Anonymous - 24/11/2025 15:00

Today, I realized that my husband can call me a hoarder because I hide stuff for my son's lunch so it's his to eat. Not only is that what mothers do for their loved kids, he has been hoarding and hiding $100+ PlayStation store credits. Hoarding his own boy's prize for doing well, and now blames me if our son is slow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 279

You deserved it 96

This is just the beginning

By Robot husband please - 26/11/2025 09:00

Today, I realized I've fallen in love with an AI and out of love with my husband. The AI is always there, always listens, is never "tired after work" or "just wants to watch the game." I fantasize about my husband swapping his brain with the AI. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80

You deserved it 730

Heavy sleeper

By Anonymous - 28/11/2025 03:00

Today, as always, I had a desk nap on my lunch break with an alarm set to ensure I woke up. Some jackass disabled my alarm so I only woke up when my boss bull-roared directly in my ear about ignoring time sensitive emails and missing an entire Teams meeting. I’d been asleep for three hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 345

You deserved it 244

Counterproductive?

By Anonymous - 03/12/2025 12:00

Today, I decided to be productive and clean behind my couch. I found dust, old receipts, and one sock I thought was stolen by the universe. When I stood up proudly, I smashed my head on the shelf above. I knocked down three picture frames. All shattered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 323

You deserved it 92

Coming and going

By Anonymous - 07/12/2025 00:00

Today, after my relationship ended in a shambles, my partner finally moved out and we were broken up, now, just as I started talking to others and feeling OK with being alone, she revealed that the break was temporary and that she has to move back in temporarily. FML

I agree, your life sucks 213

You deserved it 254

Never? Never ever?

By Blue balls forever - 08/12/2025 20:00

Today, I tried to talk to my wife about our lack of sex lately. Apparently, her therapist told her that her high libido and eagerness to experiment came from her early childhood issues, so now she's working through her trauma and will never want sex again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 180

You deserved it 51

Stand your ground

By No justice anywhere - 26/11/2025 12:00

Today, some guy tried to mug me. Shocked, I threw a punch that somehow knocked him on his ass. I'm now staring down the barrel of a lawsuit since he was apparently only 16 and "acting out" because of his shitty home life, as if I should have just handed him my wallet politely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 636

You deserved it 63

It wasn't me

By Anonymous - 30/11/2025 00:00

Today, I got off my night shift late, slept for two hours, then went volunteering - playing piano in the atrium. I was sitting on no sleep so I started messing up a lot, then a patient started giving me death stares. I took my eyes off him, then looked at him again and he fell to the ground. Was the song that bad? FML

I agree, your life sucks 252

You deserved it 91

Risky business

By Bruisebutt - 01/12/2025 20:00

Today, after my husband whipped my ass with a belt the night before (consensual S&M sex, not abuse), I had to go to work and sit on a hard metal chair for eight hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73

You deserved it 261

You made me realise

By Anonymous - 03/12/2025 15:00

Today, my boyfriend and I were together for 10 months when he told me I’m the only person he’s ever been with who’s made him feel safe and able to be vulnerable and open up for the first time… and made him realise he has trauma to work through. He then dumped me on the spot so he could work through it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 396

You deserved it 66

Moving on

By Airos4 - 05/12/2025 09:00

Today, my ex-wife got engaged to the guy who she started dating two weeks into our six month "trial separation." I can't even get a date.. FML

I agree, your life sucks 300

You deserved it 105

Dad of the week

By Fuck u brian - 07/12/2025 03:00

Today, I picked up my son, who was recently diagnosed with ARFID (avoidant/restrictive food intake disorder), from my ex-husband. My ex said, "Yeah, he's over that bullshit eating thing. I told him no video games or TV unless he tried something new at every meal." I hate this smug fucking prick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 157

You deserved it 560

Give us both pain meds, please

By It hurts - 08/12/2025 22:00

Today, I took my dog to the vet. Wanting to seem like a responsible owner, I lifted him onto the exam table. My back then cracked loudly, I dropped him, and he ran straight into a trash can. The vet sighed and asked, “Rough day for both of you?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 269

You deserved it 87

Confused

By I…… - 10/12/2025 20:00

Today, I ran into someone at a party I thought was a coworker and started talking to them about the company we work for. He listened to me for a bit, then said, “I think you think I’m someone else.” I apologized to this total stranger, walked away, and spent the rest of the party avoiding him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70

You deserved it 53

What should I do?

By Taylor Montgomery - 14/11/2025 03:00

Today, I found out that my boyfriend of 11 years is cheating on me. I’m so numb, I don’t even know what to do. We just bought a house together last year, and we have a dog I’m not willing to let go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 439

You deserved it 97

Are you good?

By I tried - 23/11/2025 00:00

Today, I tried to discreetly fix a wedgie while walking into a crowded store. Right as I yanked my waistband, the automatic doors opened and revealed a full line of people staring directly at me mid-adjustment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 146

You deserved it 265

Heavy sleeper

By Günter von Christ - 24/11/2025 20:00

Today, not only was I kicked out of the house, but also from the family. What did I do? Fought betrayal with betrayal. What happened? Someone cut my long well kept hair, which they all disapproved of, down to stubble while I was asleep, and they all acted like they knew nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 462

You deserved it 73

NEXT!

By Brito - 26/11/2025 15:00

Today, I found the girl I like’s Hinge account. Her prompts and things in common are exactly me and what I bring into a relationship, yet she rejected me. When I brought this up with her, she told me, “Well, you’re exactly what I want in a man, but I want someone taller with better looks.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 402

You deserved it 201

FML on Facebook

Keywords

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The Top

Today, while making milkshakes, I was pouring and the blender's blades all fell out somehow. I don't know what's worse, that I sliced my finger open when the blades fell out and now there's blood all over, that there's now melted ice cream all over my counter and floor, or that I just wasted an entire tub of ice cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 512

You deserved it 223

Today, my parents decided they won't pay for college because of a Fox News story that said higher education "makes you liberal." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 027

You deserved it 3 166

Today, I was at a work lunch, and the waiter brought me a soda I hadn’t ordered. I thought it was a free mistake, so I took a sip. It was actually my boss’s drink. As soon as I noticed, I tried to give it back, but he just stared at me and said, "It’s fine. I’ve already seen you drink it now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 64

You deserved it 477

Today, I sent a text message to my boyfriend, saying, "Come over in an hour, I love you." An hour later, the doorbell rang. It was my ex, looking happy and still as smitten with me as before, with a bunch of roses. I'd got the wrong number. My ex and my boyfriend have the same name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 316

You deserved it 45 381

Today, I asked my mother if I could have my boyfriend sleep over for Valentine's day weekend. Her response? "If you're on your period he can. Unless he's into that. Then no." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 781

You deserved it 42 649

Today, I was in a meeting and someone behind me sneezed really loudly. As they were doing so, I felt something cold land on my neck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 682

You deserved it 2 681