The Top

Hey guys op here again. I was so overtired that I couldn't quite put it together that one should in fact unfold a folding chair to properly use it. I should have made this clear, I suppose, based on the colossal backlash I've received. Thanks, all.

Smart move

By Triedtobecool - 06/04/2009 02:22 - Canada

Today, I went to buy beer underage for a party to impress a girl. I picked up the case of beer and went to the cashier, he ran it through without asking for ID. I left the store with a smirk on my face, I arrived at the party and showed the case to the girl. It was non-alcoholic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 977

You deserved it 99 986

By oops - 05/04/2009 05:20 - United States

Today, I walked past a church with a bunch of people standing outside waiting for the bride and groom to walk out. When the church doors opened, I yelled congratulations as loud as I could. It was a funeral. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 066

You deserved it 80 658

Quick Stop

By poopy pants - 08/04/2013 01:47 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, I was driving home from a friend's house after a night of partying. Suddenly, I had to poop worse than I ever had to in my entire life. The pain was so bad I had to pull over and pretend to be checking my tires while I let out the entire contents of my bowels onto the road. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 395

You deserved it 8 741

By Halloweenie - 16/10/2009 08:44 - United States

Today, I took a box of Halloween decorations down from the attic. Inside, were a bunch of fake spiders. I emptied the box onto the floor and the "fake" spiders crawled all over the living room in opposite directions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 172

You deserved it 5 461

Better luck next year

By clewie - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, it's my birthday. My dad showed up to my birthday dinner wasted, was loud and obnoxious the whole time, sexually harassed our waitress, then invited my annoying, bratty nephews to come home and spend the night with us. They're sleeping in my room. Happy birthday to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 301

You deserved it 218

By thyella87 - 21/08/2010 19:20 - United States

Today, my hours got cut because I couldn't make it into work when they called me in. Why couldn't I make it in? I was in an interview for a better job. I didn't get the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 783

You deserved it 18 052

By J. Homen - 30/03/2013 22:22 - United States

Today, the girl I thought I was dating got into a fight with me over the phone. She did this because she bet her boyfriend that she could make me cry on FaceTime. She won the bet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 889

You deserved it 5 802

By unloved - 17/04/2012 14:54 - United States

Today, I went to a restaurant with my boyfriend. When it came time for us to leave, I saw him write something on the receipt for our waitress. I managed to get a quick look; it was his number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 761

You deserved it 2 753

By Emily J. - 18/06/2011 00:31 - United States

Today, I realized that I text my boyfriend more than I see him. He's my next door neighbor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 481

You deserved it 38 687

By Jordid - 19/08/2010 04:12 - United States

Today, my Mom felt the need to walk around school and tell everyone to be nice to me because I just started my period. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 825

You deserved it 4 206

Geometry

By sickpuppy - 08/09/2019 12:00

Today, I learned the hard way that when sick, throw up, then have diarrhea. Not the other way round. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 440

You deserved it 175

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Awkward Pokémon Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I attended my girlfriend's mother's wake. When I walked up the three-step platform the casket was on, I tripped, fell over the edge of the casket, and head-butted her mother's corpse. The adhesive holding one of her eyes came undone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 556

You deserved it 951

Today, I was walking through a crosswalk when a lady in a car looked at me with a horrified expression and then hit her door locks repeatedly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 070

You deserved it 2 613

Today, I came home from a long day at work to find a path of rose pedals from the front door. Gasping with surprise, I followed it past the living room... past the bedroom... into the kitchen, where there was a note that said "Friends coming over tonight, we need food, love you!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 223

You deserved it 4 163

Today, I was visiting my grandma who has a beagle named Max. He was so excited to see me, he jumped on my face and peed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 414

You deserved it 701

Today, I signed up for a dating site and used a photo of my mother and me at a wedding. Everyone stops responding when they find out they're talking to me and not her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 817

You deserved it 9 197

Keep chasing them!

I agree, your life sucks 325

You deserved it 73