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Hey, OP here. This happened a few months ago, but I still remember the embarrassment like it was this morning. I made a joke out of it, we became close, and then his wife and I found out about each other. We became friends, they got divorced, and we all lived happily ever after (except him).

Swing low, sweet chariot

By I need a new ballsack. - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Macclesfield

Today, I'm at that age where sitting down carries a 50/50 chance of turning my balls into scrambled eggs, a fact confirmed yet again today. Third time this week. I think it's time to switch to briefs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 786

You deserved it 4 630

By apaterra - 07/11/2015 14:14 - United States - Washington

Today, I had to come up with a new rule for my library's patrons: If you, your child, or your dog has thrown up on our books, we DON'T WANT THEM BACK. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 437

You deserved it 1 529

By Actrent - 25/12/2016 07:00

Today, the first gift I opened was from my uncle. It was $80 in clothes that I'd bought for myself a week earlier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 239

You deserved it 710

By StickyWicket - 14/05/2019 18:00

Today, at work where I'm a physiotherapist, I was helping a patient with lower back pain. While I was massaging him, he shat himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 090

You deserved it 137

Oh no…

By OhWait - 23/10/2015 00:18 - United States - Schenectady

Today, after six weeks of dealing with various exterminators, my roommate and I were about to toast to what we were told was a wasp-free room. That's when we noticed several much smaller wasps flying around. Not only is our wasp problem not solved, but our room is a wasp breeding ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 116

You deserved it 1 465

By GeeThanks - 02/05/2017 05:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, while making a grand show of his generosity, my boss gave me my own commissions as a wedding gift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 260

You deserved it 283

By jimmyironic - 13/12/2016 04:16 - United States - Lorain

Today, while working for my grandma to clean her gutters, my gloves ripped to such a point that they became useless. There was more raccoon shit than leaves in the gutters and I had to clean it all with my bare hands. I'm talking 5 buckets worth of it. To top it off, the high today was a balmy 35° Fahrenheit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 999

You deserved it 955

jimmyironic tells us more.

jimmyironic 9

Saturday 17 December 2016 20:45

for everyone telling me I should have grabbed a new set of gloves, believe me, I tried. I searched the entire house and asked my brother for gloves too. there were no others. I also had a date in 3 hours with my girlfriend and needed to get this done and get showered before it was time to leave. i didn't have money to run to the store to buy new gloves. And grandma wasn't home to loan me the money. Nor would she be home until about 30 minutes before I had to leave. So I just had to suck it up and clean them then. I also live pretty far from my grandma's house and wouldn't be able to see her again until Christmas. so this was my last chance to clean them before they were frozen solid.

By caitywebbkid - 11/12/2016 15:56 - Australia - Perth

Today, I was cutting some paper when I accidentally cut a sizeable chunk out of my finger. I went to my car to get my bumbag (I'm a lifeguard) so I could patch it up. I then promptly got a large piece of glass in my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 817

You deserved it 819