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OP here. I know that screenshots aren't very good evidence, but it was basically all I had (since the website had been updated since). I'm on a quarter system so there's not enough time to go with a lot of your ideas, though I appreciate you guys trying. Oh, and I did go to my parents. Not for help, since I did everything possible before I called them about it, but they didn't believe me either. （´・ω・｀） Shit just sucks sometimes.

Quality family time

By Anonymous - 21/11/2015 13:47 - United States - Kenosha

Today, my deadbeat dad threatened to press charges against me for harassment if I ever contact him again. I've contacted him twice in the last two years, once to tell him he was going to be a grandfather, and once to send him a birthday card from my son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 770

You deserved it 1 841

By No Nip - 25/04/2019 12:00

Today, I was making breakfast with my parrot on my shoulder. He was excited about the food, and in his rush to climb down to the counter, bit through my nipple. I had to get stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 000

You deserved it 487

Pissed

By whoops - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, I saw that the wine bottle I couldn't open last night had a big hole in the top from my struggle to open it. It was a screw top. I must've been drunker than I thought last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 857

You deserved it 2 531

By smh - 03/11/2015 20:04 - United States - Beulah

Today, I found out the only reason my boyfriend of two years asked me out on a date was because I accidentally flashed him when we met. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 442

You deserved it 3 032

Cheeky

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend got mugged. I found out because the mugger had the courtesy to ring me, after I texted several times asking where he was, to say, "He won't reply. He got robbed." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 100

You deserved it 3 220

Which side are you on?

By FMyCountry - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, during a football match, the referee declared a goal as invalid. The dad of the kid who scored didn't agree, which led to an all-out fight among all the kids' parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 167

You deserved it 312

Assumptions

By FreeTacos_ - 28/10/2015 05:23 - United States - Pueblo

Today, I told my crush that I liked her a lot. She told me not to message her when I'm drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 554

You deserved it 2 735

By Anonymous - 08/06/2013 10:34 - United States - Bessemer

Today, after discovering that our son is already sexually active, I asked my husband to have a talk with him. "Remember, son, it's all about the clit", wasn't what I had in mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 582

You deserved it 15 234

By NotThePotty - 19/10/2015 10:15 - United States - San Francisco

Today, according to daycare, my son is behind in his potty training curriculum because we are not "celebrating his natural bodily functions" enough. He turned 2 a week ago, and he peed on our bed last night because we're trying to meet this demand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 531

You deserved it 3 015

By Thanks Honey - 05/06/2013 15:08 - United States

Today, I found my husband farting on my pillows, bare ass. His only words were, "This isn't what it looks like." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 632

You deserved it 5 201

All true, obviously

By Anonymous - 29/05/2019 02:00

Today, I found out that my mother-in-law thinks that Trump is the "best man to walk the earth since Jesus," and that he's "fighting the deep state who's in control of the fake news." She tried to indoctrinate me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 310

You deserved it 680

In training

By anonymous - 16/11/2009 06:00 - Japan

Today, after months of trying to potty train my son, he finally told me he used the potty. I went to the bathroom to check. There was nothing there. So I asked him, "Where did you go to the potty?" He then grabbed my hand and took me to the cat's litter box. My son has successfully litter trained himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 287

You deserved it 4 077

Free Britney!

By SirTalkaton - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Vacaville

Today, I had to give a video presentation. My video was on animal abuse, but I somehow played a video of myself singing Britney Spears in my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 222

You deserved it 17 475

SirTalkaton tells us more.

SirTalkaton 22

Monday 4 August 2014 6:48

Ok OP here, here's the deal. I have no problem singing Britney. I like music that's that. But my brother thought it would be hilarious to overwrite my presentation with that. As far as why I was recording, well I lost a bet and keep my word. However, it was not Oops I did It Again it was Man Eater. Class got a good kick out of it for sure.

By Anonymous - 02/10/2015 12:25 - United Kingdom

Today, a guy threatened to sue me for fraud because I informed him that he had to start paying back his student loans. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 899

You deserved it 1 847