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Hey y'all OP here- I wasn't really expecting for this to get published! Just here to answer a few questions. First off, this obviously didn't just start happening today, it been an ongoing issue since February-- that's just how FML works. Secondly, I'm 17 years old which means I've been experiencing this all while in high school, which has been SUPER fun. But yes, I've had an MRI, several sonograms, lots of blood work taken and tested, and I took a very intense allergy test. The only thing all of that revealed was that I had a minor milk allergy. So I've completely cut out all milk (which FYI, you'd be surprised at how many things have milk in them), with still no change. I've tried several medications, some of which have provided their own not-so-fun side effects. But at this point I'm just trying to treat it with vitamins and by lowering my stress levels. All my friends and family know about, so I always carry a barf bag and tooth brush with me. Hopefully it will go away on its own, because it's really not as fun as it sounds. Thanks for your kind comments and helpful suggestions though!!

By RHChiliPeppers - 12/09/2015 00:05 - United States - Westminster

Today, on a nature hike, covered in poison oak rashes from the day before, I accidentally stepped on a hornets' nest. I'm now covered in hornet stings and I can't scratch the poison oak because I might accidentally touch the stings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 140

You deserved it 2 805

RHChiliPeppers tells us more.

RHChiliPeppers 17

Sunday 13 September 2015 15:37

Hey there! OP here. I am completely alive and well although I have developed a hatred for hornets. On the plus side, I did get a pretty badass nickname! - Hornet Bait (RHChiliPeppers)

By happybidet - 31/10/2016 13:02 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend woke me with a surprise up on my birthday. Unfortunately, it was her screaming at the top of her lungs and punching me in the face because of a nightmare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 744

You deserved it 885

By Doesn't Matter Had Sex - 09/09/2015 02:37 - United States - Lake Saint Louis

Today, I had sex with this guy. His dad came upstairs and poked his head through the door right after we had finished, but were still naked in bed. All he said was, "No twins," and walked off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 475

You deserved it 4 517

By Tag - 07/09/2015 00:54 - Australia - Sydney

Today, a male friend of mine tried to kiss me. When I shoved him away and demanded to know what the fuck he was doing, he said he didn't think I was really a lesbian because I went on a date with a guy. Once. Over 15 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 302

You deserved it 2 773

Introverts unite!

By Jen - 20/10/2016 16:32

Today, I had to call a customer. I usually try to avoid calling customers because I have a very prominent speech impediment. Well, it turns out the customer I called also has a speech impediment and thought I was mocking her. She hung up on me and filed a formal complaint with my company. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 832

You deserved it 643

By wtf is a naruto?! - 27/07/2019 09:00 - United States - Hesperia

Today, I was helping my cousin plan her backyard wedding. I requested September 19-21 off for visiting and festivities. My asshole of a boss is refusing, because of some proposed Area 51 invasion. I have no idea what he’s talking about, and I’m afraid I might miss the wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 981

You deserved it 180

By O0hdear - 27/08/2015 17:44 - United States - Humble

Today, I went to my fiance's cousin's wedding with him. I got drunk and danced like a stripper in front of his entire extended family, who I'd just met that day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 553

You deserved it 32 645

Mixed signals

By cannotexplain - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I broke up. It was a mutual decision but I was curious as to what he thought went wrong. "I was just never sure if you brushed your teeth regularly." He cheated on me twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 038

You deserved it 1 462

By Braceyourself - 25/09/2016 05:44 - United States - San Pablo

Today, I went in for an audition. Since my wrist had been in a brace all week, I felt I would be fine without it for one day because I didn't want it to be a distraction. I tripped in the middle of the dance routine and crashed on top of my injured wrist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 527

You deserved it 4 720

By Blamethepostman - 16/09/2016 15:10

Today, I bought stamps to send a letter. For some unknown reason, instead of putting the stamp on the letter, I posted the letter and the stamp booklet into the postbox. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 022

You deserved it 2 835

Judge not lest you be judged, my friend

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was riding my bike and stopped at a street light. A little girl looked at me, then asked her mother, "Mommy, why does that girl have a ring through her nose?" Her mother then replied, "Because her parents don't love her." FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 043

You deserved it 20 000

Badass

By Drom - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - Australia - Sydney

Today, I pushed my spinning clothesline around and walked off like a badass. A loose wire then whipped around the back of my head and caught me in the eye. I'm just so badass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 579

You deserved it 3 861

By Ew-dles - 09/09/2017 20:00

Today, I was finishing a bowl of ramen while watching a video. As I scooped up the last bits, I realized the clump of seasoning I had been saving for last was actually a dead fly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 511

You deserved it 708

By Anonymous - 13/09/2017 08:00 - Canada - Grand Bay

Today, I thought it would be funny to mow a dick into my grandmother's lawn, but the mower leaked gasoline and now there's a giant dead grass outline. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 162

You deserved it 4 652

Leave me alone!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I found myself sneaking into my apartment to avoid the old lady who lives next to me. Funnily enough, I moved into my own apartment because I was tired of sneaking into it to avoid my mom, who lived with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 753

You deserved it 1 893

By "wolfssb135" - 23/10/2017 22:00

Today, I deeply underestimated my baby nephew's climbing skills. I returned from the bathroom to find a broken vase, spilled powder formula, and my phone wiped clean from too many incorrect password attempts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 279

You deserved it 1 064

Shy guy

By Big_gulps_huh - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff - United States - Minneapolis

Today, I realized I am more confident running a million-dollar piece of construction equipment than I am around people of the opposite sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 929

You deserved it 553

By RektForLyfe - 25/07/2016 03:32 - United States - Wickliffe

Today, I was accepted to the college of my dreams. Then I checked the address. Turns out, the letter was meant for my neighbor. I was actually denied. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 606

You deserved it 1 261

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Today, a customer threatened to smash my face in because I wouldn't give him a veteran's discount on a donut. He looked like he'd eaten his way out of fat camp, and it seemed the only action he'd seen was fighting his way into a lard factory. Still, he swung fast, and I now have a black eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 497

You deserved it 17 991

Today, since splitting up with my girlfriend, I’ve watched so much porn I think I’ve given myself a friction burn on my clit, so now not only does it hurt to even walk normally, it’s way too painful to masturbate, so I’m now horny all the frigging time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 594

You deserved it 1 356

Today, I made microwaveable popcorn. When the bag finished popping, I took it out and opened it and put my face in close to get a big whiff. It now feels like I have third degree burns inside my nose and behind my eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 126

You deserved it 48 081

Today, my mother-in-law said, "I just find I'm not at all confident bottle feeding a baby, as I breastfed all of mine." Thank you for making me feel like s*** for me decision to bottle feed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 769

You deserved it 431

Today, I found out that the day I moved out of my parents' house, they invited my whole family over and had a party to celebrate the fact that I was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 259

You deserved it 5 390

Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 340

You deserved it 5 080