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Hey, OP here. This actually happened last year when I was 16 years old, and I was broke as hell and almost agreed. But then his wife showed up and he pretended he didn't know me XD

By porn daddy - 21/06/2017 00:00

Today, my drunk dad went off on a tangent about his porn watching habits to the whole family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 110

You deserved it 451

Not really my problem, but OK

By wtf - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, I got yelled at multiple times by my boss because my boyfriend didn't show up to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 183

You deserved it 510

By blue15564 - 26/09/2016 21:52 - United States - Davenport

Today, my dad grounded me for not having any friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 412

You deserved it 1 157

Method acting

By Anonymous - 09/08/2016 20:58 - United States - Hayward

Today, my uncle asked me to act as a bodyguard in a video he was making. I put on the shades and suit while he was saying his message to the camera. I was laughing so hard internally that I ended up farting so loud throughout the entire video. We had to shoot the video five times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 913

You deserved it 2 891

By Jay - 04/11/2017 04:00

Today, I got called into the principal's office of my son's school. Why? He'd called his teacher a "fudge packer". No more weekends with his uncle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 308

You deserved it 366

By AnimalWorld - 03/07/2016 16:57 - United States - Honeoye Falls

Today, I was told I couldn't walk across the stage at my graduation because I owe money to lunch services. I owe 14 cents from my freshman year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 516

You deserved it 1 739

AnimalWorld tells us more.

AnimalWorld 11

Monday 4 July 2016 16:39

Hey everybody, OP here. I just want to clarify a few things. First of all I was able to walk. I went up to the woman who told me I couldn't, handed her a quarter, and told her to keep the change. And for those of you who think I'm just an idiot for not paying, they only made you aware you owe money if you buy a lunch from the school in the last 2 weeks of classes, which I haven't done in 3 years. So no I wasn't aware. AND to make matters worse, if you still have money in your account at the end of the year, you aren't issued a refund. But these 14 cents were somehow a deal breaker. That seems a bit twisted to me. Thanks to everyone who was concerned! I'm an official graduate now!

Hopeless

By Anonymous - 18/11/2019 20:00

Today, my wife of 2 years told me she was pregnant, after we've been trying for ages. Excited, about to call my parents, then, my wife told me, "Don't get your hopes up it might not be yours, the father could be 5 other guys." And then asked me what I'd like for dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 302

You deserved it 352

By RosaMaravillosa - 27/06/2016 18:09 - Netherlands - Amsterdam

Today, after being constipated a few days, I used the restroom at a bar. It took a loooong time before I got out. As I went to exit the bar, only the employees were still there, waiting for me because they had closed 30 minutes ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 729

You deserved it 2 748

You what?

By Anonymous - 30/01/2020 20:00

Today, I was going down on my girlfriend when I noticed a hickey near her hip. I said, "Wow, last night was crazy, I don't even remember doing that!" Without even interrupting the action, she simply said, "You didn't." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 267

You deserved it 391

By Noob - 05/03/2018 08:00 - United States - Houston

Today, I restarted my desktop computer at work. Nobody told me, but it turns out that my computer holds the licenses used for all programs on the server. Needless to say, a lot of people hate me right now. It's only my fifth day here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 835

You deserved it 469

Mystery person

By How - 18/04/2018 01:30

Today, I received a letter from my apartment complex saying I have an unauthorized tenant living with me. I must provide proof they don't live with me in the next 72 hours or I get kicked out. Nobody lives with me, and I don't know how to prove it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 818

You deserved it 221

By UhOh - 25/04/2018 17:30

Today, I woke up on an airplane in Rome. As I was sleeping, I had covered myself and the seat in period blood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 420

You deserved it 536

Emma Eisnor tells us more.

Emma Eisnor 15

Tuesday 24 April 2018 23:12

Hey OP here! This actually happened when I went on a two week trip to Italy back in the beginning of March. The rest of the trip was actually great I toured the entire country! As for what happened, I was on my period with a pad on and it took me 6 hours of the 8 hour flight to fall asleep, but as soon as I did fall asleep all hell broke loose apparently. I didn’t tell the flight attendants because I was too embarrassed so I kind of just got up and awkwardly waddled away. Could have been worse though!

By Chin... uh.... - 10/05/2016 22:42 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I've learned two things. One, my Chinese cousins don't know much about the USA, and two, they now believe it's proper manners to shout, "FREEEEDOM" before ending a call with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 812

You deserved it 1 517