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By Anonymous - 14/11/2015 11:47 - United States - Taunton

Spicy

Today, I started to tell my step-dad about a funny video I came across online last night. He cut me off by saying, "Yeah? Well I came across your mom's face last night!" then left for work with a shit-eating grin on his face. I could've gone the rest of my life without knowing that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 389

You deserved it 2 081

Creepshow

By Hipnog - 07/11/2015 14:33 - Czech Republic

Today, I realised how damn creepy I am because I get nervous and smile when someone looks at me, and no it's not one of those smiles you'd love looking at, it's a smile straight out of a horror movie. I made a bunch of children run away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 549

You deserved it 2 717

By Anonymous - 03/06/2017 21:00 - France

Today, after 4 years of trying to convince my husband, a landscaper, of the risks of skin cancer, he finally decided to put on sunscreen. Why? His horoscope told him to take care of his skin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 503

You deserved it 367

Not going, going back, back to Cali, Cali

By WhatisLife - 27/07/2017 09:00 - Bangladesh - Dhaka

Today, I found out I will not be moving back to California. My mom told me we were going to go on a 2 month vacation to see family in India. She decided we are staying for good. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 261

You deserved it 300

By chewsef - 09/08/2016 03:22 - United States - Concord

Today, I thought I'd save some money by doing my own electrical work. When I turned the power back on, it caught fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 851

You deserved it 18 328

chewsef tells us more.

chewsef 17

Tuesday 9 August 2016 21:34

OP here....I'm getting hammered on this one as I expected. Waiting on a electrician as we speak.

By TheVagabond_SRG - 02/08/2016 06:46 - United States - Grand Prairie

Today, I started my first day at a job. First thing my manager does is ask me if I knew the fastest way to kill someone there, then told me with a straight face all of what would occur when dumping a person's head into the deep fryer. Then the psycho assigned me to the fry station. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 554

You deserved it 1 079

Maintenance

By DoubledTrouble - 21/07/2016 11:58 - United States - Washington

Today, my kids overheard me talking about cleaning the fuel system in our RV before we go to Disney World. They were so eager to get there, they decided they'd clean the fuel system themselves while I was at work, namely by pouring Tide into the gas tank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 244

You deserved it 1 305

By Victoria - 12/07/2016 14:10

Today, my mother still refuses to acknowledge my son as her grandson, all because I had a C-section, which she says is unnatural and against God's will. I only had the C-section in the first place for health reasons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 670

You deserved it 1 188

Whoops

By ER1C - 16/05/2016 12:35 - Canada

Today, as I was walking my dog around the block, I fell in the splits position on wet dirt and ripped my pants right on the front. I then had to walk home casually holding a chihuahua on my crotch hoping I would not run into anyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 504

You deserved it 1 219

By dragonstooth257 - 20/08/2018 15:00

Today, I confessed to my husband that I quoted Lightning McQueen in an interview and got my dream job because of it. He wont stop laughing and telling my friends. I'm never going to live this down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 127

You deserved it 761

By thegirlwiththedumbassbf - 23/03/2016 22:58 - United States - Camarillo

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend told me that he had sex with my sister, but it's ok because I'm better in bed. He seriously doesn't understand why I dumped his sorry ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 010

You deserved it 2 220

By Notarealwaifu - 02/11/2018 13:00 - Japan - Kunitachi

Today, after a 3-month dry spell and countless rejections, I gave up on being intimate with my girlfriend. Imagine my surprise when she came on to me and took me to bed. What triggered the love-making? Apparently she got horny from looking at an anime character's cleavage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 787

You deserved it 316

By angelisa - 21/11/2015 14:54 - United States - Yuba City

Spicy

Today, I finally felt ready to lose my virginity with my boyfriend. Unfortunately he was too embarrassed to go and buy some condoms, and suggested in all seriousness that we use a sandwich bag instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 772

You deserved it 3 938

By Anonymous - 14/02/2019 16:35 - United States

Today, I am 3 months pregnant. While lying on the couch with morning sickness, my boyfriend farted loudly and filled the room with a smell so horrifying that I immediately threw up all over my coffee table. He spent the next 20 minutes texting his friends about this "epic" moment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 927

You deserved it 7 959

By Random - 04/04/2017 07:00 - Canada - Langley

Today, I told my crush, who I've liked for a while, that I liked him. He looked at me in pure terror and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 056

You deserved it 391

By ChildhoodTerror - 26/12/2016 06:40

Today, my cousin left her undisciplined demon-child at my house for Christmas. This child destroyed the other children's gifts and made so much noise that the neighbors called the police. The adults can't really discipline her while her mother is away, so all we can do is apologize in this child's wake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 715

You deserved it 1 584

By Craig Thompson - 20/04/2017 21:00 - United Kingdom - Bristol

Today, I found out that when I drink alcohol, I snore so bad my boyfriend contemplated suffocating me with a pillow to get some sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 112

You deserved it 807

By Anonymous - 30/08/2015 15:44 - United States

Today, while I was pulling weeds, my dad thought it would be absolutely hilarious to yell "Hey, son!" then unload his gun at me when I turned around. After I'd screamed like a bitch and pissed myself, he broke down into hysterical laughter and said he'd loaded the gun with blanks. Fuck you, dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 626

You deserved it 2 565

By sonofawackjob - 18/08/2017 17:15 - United States - Syracuse

Today, my raving lunatic mother screamed at me for being "disrespectful", threatened to not pay for my college, swore at me, and accused me of having multiple personality disorder, all in rapid succession. This was provoked by me sneezing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 644

You deserved it 267

By "skippydoda" - 05/09/2017 12:51

Today, multiple people pushed me out of the way to get a seat on the metro. I'm five months pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 583

You deserved it 440

skippydoda tells us more.

skippydoda 32

Tuesday 5 September 2017 3:18

Hey OP here. 1. I have a visible belly. I definitely look pregnant. 2. This wasn't a simple push pass me to get on first. This was a full shove into the side of the train tummy first. I don't care how tired you are, it's never okay to push someone that hard to get a seat first. 3. I'm fine, baby's fine.

By so much pain... - 09/12/2017 09:00 - United States - Collegeville

Today, I tried to fight my girlfriend’s ex-boyfriend because she told me he used to beat her. Turns out, she was lying to “impress” me, and her ex has a black belt in taekwondo. I’m in excruciating pain right now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 093

You deserved it 4 821

By PizzaNIF - 13/07/2016 17:58 - United States - Henderson

Spicy

Today, I was woken up by the sound of my dad blasting porn on his computer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 863

You deserved it 1 335

By benjamins - 10/01/2018 09:00 - United States

Today, I got kicked in the balls twice in two hours. The first was my (now ex) girlfriend when I confronted her about cheating on me, and the second was her overprotective friend who thought that I was the cheater. One is a cheerleader, and the other is a soccer player. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 144

You deserved it 367

benjamins39 tells us more.

benjamins39 12

Friday 26 January 2018 23:41

OP here....yes, they are both female, and that’s kinda there way of doing things when pissed at a guy, fire away. Not the first time my ex has kicked me, hoping it was the last though. She got off the direct hit, the soccer player was kinda a graze, but they were so sore it felt like a direct hit. After walking funny for a day or so, all good now

By Backstabber<3 - 06/03/2018 19:00

Spicy

Today, as I was about to finally tell my boyfriend of nearly a year that I loved him, he revealed that he cheated on me, that his side chick is pregnant, and that he has the clap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 282

You deserved it 495

By Lexyy17 - 28/05/2016 02:43 - Canada - Lynn Lake

Today, my best friend got engaged. To get his girlfriend to say yes, he had to agree to dump me as a friend because she doesn't want him being best friends with a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 746

You deserved it 1 600

Lexyy17 tells us more.

Lexyy17 18

Saturday 28 May 2016 22:39

Just putting this out there, but I never met the girl. I live in another province.. the drive takes over 30 hours one way. My friend and I only ever chatted online due to the distance and I've been happily married for the last 3 years, been with my husband for 6 so really she had nothing to worry about.

By The Draught of Living Death - 17/07/2018 15:00

Today, I shared an elevator alone with an attractive co-worker. On our way up, she let out a loud, noxious rip. She covered her nose and mouth while giving me an accusing look, as I said with a straight face, "Excuse you." Later, I received a note from HR for harassment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 655

You deserved it 285

By lunarclaws - 11/09/2018 06:00 - Netherlands - Brielle

Today, I discovered my boyfriend enjoys anime, just like me. I discovered this when he said he wanted me to imitate and dress up as an underage character from his favourite anime next time we have sex. When I refused, he got upset and said he thought I would understand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 120

You deserved it 535

Congratulations, you played yourself

By danielle - 23/04/2009 07:16 - United States

Today, my friend and I wanted to get some alcohol (we're under 21). We went to a liquor store and asked a random guy to go in and buy us some vodka. After giving him $20, he said he had to go turn off his car, then he'd get us the drinks. He got in his car and drove off, with my $20. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 233

You deserved it 260 195

A Bugs Bunny Baptism

By Anonymous - 05/08/2017 05:00 - Netherlands

Today, my new bunny was uncharacteristically sitting happily on my lap when I began to feel a spreading, warm sensation. At the same time, my boyfriend picked up the bunny and in the process sprayed me from head to toe with urine as well as our couch and floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 626

You deserved it 576

By Oops - 28/08/2017 03:30 - United Kingdom - Bakewell

Today, I had a hotdog. I thought the skin was a bit tough but ate it anyway. After reading the packaging later I found out that each hotdog has an individual plastic wrapper. I ate plastic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 656

You deserved it 3 850

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The Top

The Top

Today, I went over to the house of a guy I have hooked up with a few times. After we got done, I asked him why we were not in the room across the hall. He said that was his twin brother's room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 837

You deserved it 1 332

Today, my girlfriend tried to distract me from an argument I was winning by taking off her clothes for sex. Then she got mad when I told her to grow up and get dressed. By the way, the fight was over how she threw my mom's ashes in the trash, I don’t care if we never have sex again, I’m gonna win this argument. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 210

You deserved it 257

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years ghosted me without a word and acted like he didn't know my friend when she texted him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 024

You deserved it 96

Today, my husband fell asleep on my shoulder. He then ripped a nasty fart. I exhaled slowly but apparently loud enough that it woke up my husband who promptly screamed directly in my ear, before screaming a second time when he smelled the fart as well. The worst part is that also he scared my cat off my lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 410

You deserved it 88

Today, I thought my mom and I could put aside our differences and open our Christmas presents. When she opened mine, she turned to my dad and said she didn't want the present, so I could give it to someone else. 'Tis the season. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 580

You deserved it 1 399

Today, I reached for my beer and took a huge swallow before I realized that I had picked up my friend's tobacco spit cup. "Vomit" is not a strong enough word to describe what happened next. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 867

You deserved it 6 279