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RIP

By Tracy - 11/01/2026 09:00

Today, I told someone “You too” when they'd said “Sorry for your loss” after I'd mentioned that I recently lost my dog to cancer. I realized what I'd said immediately and tried to fix it by talking more, which somehow made it worse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 248

You deserved it 150

A tad dramatic

By Illice - 13/01/2026 03:00

Today, my estranged fiancé invited my son (from a previous relationship) and I over for dinner, hoping to reconcile somewhat. When he brought out the roast, my son pointed and yelled, "I'M NOT GONNA EAT THAT!" He was so offended that he kicked us both out and now refuses to talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 190

You deserved it 323

Too tough

By Too tough - 18/01/2026 12:00

Today, I was working construction and tried lifting something I knew was too heavy. My back seized up, and I had to lie down on a pile of plywood while my coworkers stood around pretending not to laugh. The foreman filled out the incident report and titled it “ego-related.” I had to read it before signing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87

You deserved it 463

Unprepared

By Jobless - 26/12/2025 12:00

Today, I rushed to an early job interview, rehearsed answers in my Uber, then realized at reception I’d zipped my suit jacket into my backpack and was wearing my old college hoodie over dress pants. The receptionist smiled politely while I tried to explain and I somehow made small talk about rugby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84

You deserved it 324

It's nothing personal

By Anonymous - 18/01/2026 15:00

Today, as a teaching assistant, I somehow uploaded my personal notes instead of the lecture slides. My “notes” included reminders like “slow down, idiot”, “this makes no sense”, and “students will hate this part.” Several students emailed me saying they appreciated the honesty. I would've appreciated the ground opening and swallowing me whole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 157

You deserved it 291

Politeness gone wrong

By Roadrage2025 - 26/12/2025 15:00

Today, I let someone merge in traffic. They waved, merged, then immediately braked to make a turn, causing me to slam on the brakes and spill coffee all over myself. They waved again, like that fixed everything. I arrived at work sticky, caffeinated, and angry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 301

You deserved it 140

Take a break

By Im tired - 31/12/2025 22:00

Today, out of pure exhaustion, I laughed way too hard at something my coworker said. I got the giggles, and I couldn't stop. When everyone stopped talking, I realized I was the only one still laughing, sounding unhinged. I need a vacation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 291

You deserved it 106

Chilling

By QuentinX - 11/01/2026 15:00

Today, I tried to casually lean against a counter during a conversation at a party and missed. I recovered by pretending I meant to crouch and check my shoelaces. No one bought it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 108

You deserved it 314

Realistic

By Anonymous - 22/01/2026 09:00

Today, I told my daughter that it’s important to marry for love. She asked if I married her dad for love, which I did. She thought about it for a second, then said, "Fuck that, I’m marrying me a rich guy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 287

You deserved it 98

Protective

By Anonymous - 24/01/2026 03:00

Today, my father-in-law asked why my wife had a black eye. I got as far as, “Yeah that was me, I…” before he broke my nose. I get the 'protecting his daughter' thing, but if he’d let me finish, I’d have said “was putting up a shelf she wanted, but I dropped it on her. Total accident.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 73

You deserved it 41

To be fair and balanced…

By Anonymous - 01/01/2026 00:00

Today, I found out my husband is still friends with someone who talks a lot of crap about me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 382

You deserved it 83

How could you?

By Not a cheater - 04/01/2026 15:00

Today, I was looking over reservations for an upcoming work trip, and saw that my work would cover the "romance package" at a nice hotel. I laughed. My coworkers laughed. When I told my wife, not only did she not laugh, she burst into tears and screamed, "I knew you were cheating!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 449

You deserved it 115

What happened?

By Anonymous - 20/01/2026 15:00

Today, a day or two after a really close friend of mine offered for me to move in with him, he has me blocked on everything, because he cheated on his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 279

You deserved it 69

Smash that button

By Ihategamersex - 26/12/2025 20:00

Today, my boyfriend, who is a full-time gamer, said to me during sex, "I want to right click you so bad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 236

You deserved it 98

Resolutions come and go

By Anonymous - 06/01/2026 12:00

Today, I tried a new workout class as part of my New Year's resolution to get fit. The instructor said, “Don’t worry, we’ll start easy.” Twenty minutes in, I was flat on the floor while everyone else continued effortlessly. When the instructor asked if I was OK, I gave a thumbs-up, but I haven’t been able to sit down since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 307

You deserved it 108

Lost in time

By Anonymous - 13/01/2026 15:00

Today, I told a coworker, “Enjoy your weekend!” out of pure muscle memory. It was Monday morning. They stared at me for a full second before quietly saying, “I will... in five days.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 141

You deserved it 260

Triggered

By Anonymous - 15/01/2026 09:00

Today, I added a new trigger for my debilitating migraines: presentations shown on projectors - BAM; went to the movies - BAM; went to a concert - BAM BAM BAM. Apparently big screens trigger them now, in addition to sleep or meal disruption, hormones or stress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 349

You deserved it 54

False alarm

By Bad nurse - 18/01/2026 22:00

Today, I spent ten minutes comforting a patient’s family member, reassuring them everything was under control. When I went to leave, I realized I’d been leaning on the call button the entire time. Three other nurses ran in ready for an emergency while I was mid-sentence about coping strategies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87

You deserved it 295

Insecure

By Anonymous - 22/01/2026 15:00

Today, my husband went on a boys' night but I found his wedding ring on the nightstand so I confronted him when he got home. He was wearing his ring. What I had was a brass olive ring for plumbing so now I look like a jealous idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74

You deserved it 533

Burn or drown?

By Xenocide - 25/12/2025 03:00

Today, I almost burned down my speakers. How, you ask? Well, some asshole at the party (I was the DJ) decided to trip me as I walked to the stage, causing me to knock my speakers into the pool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 336

You deserved it 86

Can't take my eyes off you

By Pauly - 26/12/2025 22:00

Today, I babysat my niece and thought a quick shower would be fine. I left her watching cartoons with a blanket and returned to find she’d used washable paints on the carpet and her hands, leaving tiny colorful footprints to the couch. Her proud smile made me forgive the mess, but I spent the evening scrubbing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80

You deserved it 487

I'm a mess

By I'm awkward - 28/12/2025 20:00

Today, I tripped going up the stairs at work, caught myself, and laughed it off. Then I tripped again on the very next step. The same bunch of coworkers watched both times. No one laughed the second time. Neither did I. FML

I agree, your life sucks 284

You deserved it 134

Am I still here?

By Embarassed - 01/01/2026 09:00

Today, I laughed at a joke in a group chat. No one else reacted. After five minutes, I realized I’d replied to a message from last week. I had to also pretend I hadn't noticed and sat in silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 185

You deserved it 167

Protect your pipes

By Sam - 03/01/2026 03:00

Today, my upstairs neighbor's pipe burst because they forgot to close their porch door and, well, Wisconsin winter. My apartment is flooded and I'm spending my little money on a hotel. I think I'm homeless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 426

You deserved it 62

Brat winter

By Single again - 04/01/2026 22:00

Today, my girlfriend's kid was acting silly and cutting up in a busy parking lot. I saw a car coming towards him and yanked him to my side. He started crying and my girlfriend screamed at me for "being mean" to him. I should have let the brat get hit, I guess. If this is the stepdad life, fuck it, I'm out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 556

You deserved it 108

Late stage capitalism

By Anonymous - 12/01/2026 00:00

Today, I helped pay my mom's monthly electric and gas bill so she wouldn't have it shut off, since the company wouldn't accept her specific kind of card as payment, and the cash advance they could get was for less than half of the amount. Yes, I double-checked it wasn't a scam. It was for nearly $280 and I'm on SSI. FML

I agree, your life sucks 296

You deserved it 90

Wrong place, wrong time

By KD - 19/01/2026 03:00

Today, at work, I had an accident and cracked a rib. I got taken to hospital where I got checked over. The doctor said it was a good job I hadn't got a chest infection nor a cold. Funny you should say that doc, I have both. She replied, "Well, that's bad…" FML

I agree, your life sucks 306

You deserved it 73

Am I still here?

By Anonymous - 12/01/2026 03:00

Today, I walked into the wrong classroom, sat down, took notes for ten minutes, and only realized my mistake when the professor asked me to introduce myself and explain why I was there. I wasn’t even enrolled in the class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 114

You deserved it 328

Love you!

By bad son - 13/01/2026 22:00

Today, I texted my mom, “Love you!” and immediately followed it with, “Oops wrong chat” except it wasn't the wrong chat. She replied, “???” and now she thinks I only say I love her by accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52

You deserved it 406

To the moon!

By juggalo2 - 03/01/2026 09:00

Today, I told my wife I was getting nervous about the surge in silver prices, and I wanted to sell some of our holdings. She told me not to be a "paper-handsing little bitch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 107

You deserved it 334

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The Top

Still cute though.

I agree, your life sucks 228

You deserved it 86

Today, I got raise at work. It's $3 per month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 932

You deserved it 144

Today, I realized the universal beauty that can be found in a pancake. I'm not sure if I have reached spiritual enlightenment, or if I should have my head examined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 873

You deserved it 7 404

Today, I'm scared to leave my bedroom. During the night, what must have been a giant spider made a web 4 feet wide stretching from the lightbulb to the tv and then down to the desk corner. It's blocking my path to the door and I can't tell where the 8-legged bastard is hiding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 754

You deserved it 437

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 811

You deserved it 13 720

Today, my parents made a game out of deliberately walking in when I'm trying to masturbate. They even turn on all the hot water taps when I'm trying to do it in the shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 802

You deserved it 20 859