The Top

I'm the only person on the second floor. We have HIGHLY explosive chemicals in the labs on the first floor. I'd rather have a broken leg than blow up and die.

Rotation

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United Arab Emirates - Dubai

Today, I found out that my classmates hate me so much that they have a seating arrangement where people have to sit next to me on a rotating basis. A fight broke out yesterday because someone tried to skip their turn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 736

You deserved it 17 619

Looking good

By ShutTheFuCupcake - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - Canada - Calgary

Today, I flexed so hard for a selfie, I gave myself a hernia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 787

You deserved it 71 710

By jacques - 02/02/2010 14:08 - Australia

Today, I ran into my ex's family, and found out they are going to Europe. Funnily enough, so am I. Even funnier is the fact that we are going on the same date, at the same time, on the same flights, and the tour starts on the same day in the same place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 096

You deserved it 3 837

By Zitty - 12/07/2009 18:18 - United States

Today, I went on a movie date. During the movie, I picked a small zit on my forehead. Afterwards, at dinner, he couldn't seem to keep his eyes off of my face. I thought he was staring lovingly at me. He was actually staring at a large throbbing zit with a trail of blood coming from it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 582

You deserved it 65 230

By Noname - 30/10/2008 05:55 - France

Today, I've just lost over £12,000 and it's not even halfway through the trading day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 047

You deserved it 8 755

By ksamp - 12/10/2011 04:26 - United States

Today, the man I love still thinks that female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 333

You deserved it 6 295

By Anonymous - 01/09/2014 14:08 - United States

Today, I wrecked my car because my mom texted me, telling me not to text and drive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 634

You deserved it 45 034

I'm happy for you, but…

By OnlyMee - 09/07/2011 04:32 - United States

Today, at my ex's wedding, I had to listen to his joyful recounting of how he met his bride and how they fell instantly in love and he knew she was perfect for him. All this happened while we were still dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 898

You deserved it 9 989

By Koubz - 19/04/2010 12:07 - Egypt

Today, I felt the urge to sneeze, so out of instinct I looked away from the computer and sneezed to my left. The rotating fan was blowing at my direction at that moment, so I just sneezed on my own face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 893

You deserved it 13 488

Koubz tells us more.

Koubz 0

Thursday 22 April 2010 0:46

Guys, I only posted this to make people laugh. My life does not suck, nor did that ruin my day at all. Anyway i have allergies, and it was like 35 degrees celsius that day. I DID have tissues on my desk (I think) but by instinct, when i don't have tissues i sneeze away from whoever i'm talking to (usually towards the ground or the opposite way)

By Anonymous - 10/01/2011 07:09 - United States

Today, trying to be cute, my boyfriend threw a snowball at me. This would have been fine had it not been hard enough to break my glasses. As a college student, I have to choose between eating for the next two weeks or replacing them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 977

You deserved it 2 987

By Anonymous - 08/12/2009 12:10 - Norway

Today, I'm travelling to England for an important meeting. I'm Norwegian, and my name is Bård. I have to introduce myself as "bored" the whole day, because that's how my name is pronounced. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 675

You deserved it 3 141

By Laura - 03/05/2012 07:55 - France

Today, I saw my boyfriend spitting the mouthwash back into the bottle, because, "this stuff is really expensive." FML

I agree, your life sucks 487

You deserved it 44

By loserman - 29/04/2014 22:40 - United States - Frisco

Today, while at my brother's funeral, my girlfriend decided to tell me she'd been sleeping with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 827

You deserved it 3 784

By Nikia818 - 06/02/2014 18:23 - United States - Newport News

Today, I burned my right boob. I got it by eating a hot pocket and accidentally spilling the extremely hot filling. I never thought I'd get laid before. This has just confirmed it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 150

You deserved it 7 083

Nikia818 tells us more.

Nikia818 6

Friday 7 February 2014 6:47

Thank you all so much! To clarify, I wasn't naked. I had a tank top on. I'm only kidding about worrying about getting laid. I'm studying to get into med school, so I really don't get laid in real life. But it doesn't bother me. I let the hot pocket sit and it was the perfect temperature until that bite...which was at the very end... I do have a nickel-sized pink scar and it blistered a little bit, but nothing major. All in all, I now know that the filling of a hpt pocket is hotter than the fiery pits of Hell.