Kids, Awkward Work What did you just say?

What did you just say?

keeks_25 - - Canada

Today, I was serving a family at the restaurant where I work. When I went to ask the little girl what she wanted, I was tongue-tied and got "cutie" and "hun" mixed up and ended up asking, "What can I get for you, cuntie?" FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Confused?

Anonymous - - Canada

Today, while at my job as a hostess, I was seating a couple and their adorable little girl. I tried to ask how old she was, but what came out was, "Aww, what breed is she?" FML

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Suave

getmoneyab - - Mexico

Today, I went to Cheesecake Factory for dinner. There was a hot waiter who kept passing by. He saw me looking at him and I knew I had to say something. So when he approached my table I asked, "Excuse me, do you have any salt?" and he said, "I think it's right there on the table." FML

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Cheeky

BurnedByAWaiter -

Today, I went on a blind date at a fancy restaurant. My date was running a bit late, so I went ahead and got a table. I got bored, so I decided to ask my waiter how I looked. He stood there, then said that, "It's against company policy to mock customers to their face." FML

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ISwearImNotOCD - 05/04/2017 08:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I found out that the chefs at my work can't spell for shit. FML

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Never do this, my dudes

bluecollar - - United States

Today, there was a luncheon at work in another dept. We all went to get some free food and see new faces. There was a hot girl walking around chatting. I grabbed my buddy's arm and told him there was a "nice pair of tits here." He saw her. She's his daughter. She's a new-hire… running HR. FML

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There was an attempt…

JoshTheUnluckyFromKentucky - - United States - Folsom

Today, I got on the bus to go to work. I managed to get a seat, but an old lady who looked tired had to stand. I offered her my seat, but she glared at me, frowned and said, "Go fuck yourself." Everyone laughed as I sat there in dismay. FML

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The strangeness of strangers

Hank Gummyworm - - United States

Today, I was working the register at our local McDonald's. After a strange man left a massive order, he said, "Can I pay you in gummy worms?" FML

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thank u usa - 13/12/2013 22:20 - Germany

Today, I came across a tourist in the street asking people for directions, but nobody understood him. I speak English, so I went to help the gentleman out. He said "Knock it off with the cheesy accent, pal" and informed me that my country is a shithole. FML

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in this day and age.... - 19/10/2023 16:25 - United States - Dallas

Today, the first words I heard from my "good, Christian" future mother-in-law included a salvo of curse words and a hushed rant about "them dirty Jews". I'm culturally Jewish. This bodes well. FML

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Brain worms

smooth - - United States

Today, my coworker pointed to our nervous new intern and asked who he was. I jokingly said, "Can't you tell? He's our new slave." I then quickly realized how bad that sounded, given the intern is black. FML

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tipsypiink 0

Saturday 9 May 2009 2:53

hahah did the parents leave a nice tip after that? (;

RyanRaygun 0

Saturday 9 May 2009 2:54

Most kids are little *****. Don't feel bad.

deardaniel_fml 0

Saturday 9 May 2009 5:05

how do you even get those two mixed up...sad

cantth1nk0fnam3 3

Saturday 9 May 2009 5:08

why would you say cutie to begin with. hun is okay but cutie?

kronk45 0

Saturday 9 May 2009 5:10

AHAHAAA HIGH FIVE!!!!!!

Phallus_fml 0

Saturday 9 May 2009 5:09

What was parents' reaction?

Amkii 0

Saturday 9 May 2009 5:16

Ohhhhhhh my lawd, this is my favorite FML EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Win win win win WIN! So much amazingness in this story!!!

TJayU 0

Saturday 9 May 2009 5:36

I agree that this was one of the first FMLs that actually made me laugh.

24788 6

Saturday 9 May 2009 5:45

Hopefully they didn't care too much.

diana491141 0

Saturday 9 May 2009 6:00

LMAAOOO That sucks. Not dirty, but growing up my parents would call me "Sissy" because I have two younger siblings (that's what my sister called me until she was about four and until she was born it was just my brother and me so it was a differentiation nickname) and "Sweetie." Most of the time I was "Swissy."