Kids, Awkward Work What did you just say?

What did you just say?

keeks_25 - - Canada

Today, I was serving a family at the restaurant where I work. When I went to ask the little girl what she wanted, I was tongue-tied and got "cutie" and "hun" mixed up and ended up asking, "What can I get for you, cuntie?" FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Confused?

Anonymous - - Canada

Today, while at my job as a hostess, I was seating a couple and their adorable little girl. I tried to ask how old she was, but what came out was, "Aww, what breed is she?" FML

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Suave

getmoneyab - - Mexico

Today, I went to Cheesecake Factory for dinner. There was a hot waiter who kept passing by. He saw me looking at him and I knew I had to say something. So when he approached my table I asked, "Excuse me, do you have any salt?" and he said, "I think it's right there on the table." FML

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Cheeky

BurnedByAWaiter -

Today, I went on a blind date at a fancy restaurant. My date was running a bit late, so I went ahead and got a table. I got bored, so I decided to ask my waiter how I looked. He stood there, then said that, "It's against company policy to mock customers to their face." FML

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ISwearImNotOCD - 05/04/2017 08:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I found out that the chefs at my work can't spell for shit. FML

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Never do this, my dudes

bluecollar - - United States

Today, there was a luncheon at work in another dept. We all went to get some free food and see new faces. There was a hot girl walking around chatting. I grabbed my buddy's arm and told him there was a "nice pair of tits here." He saw her. She's his daughter. She's a new-hire… running HR. FML

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There was an attempt…

JoshTheUnluckyFromKentucky - - United States - Folsom

Today, I got on the bus to go to work. I managed to get a seat, but an old lady who looked tired had to stand. I offered her my seat, but she glared at me, frowned and said, "Go fuck yourself." Everyone laughed as I sat there in dismay. FML

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The strangeness of strangers

Hank Gummyworm - - United States

Today, I was working the register at our local McDonald's. After a strange man left a massive order, he said, "Can I pay you in gummy worms?" FML

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thank u usa - 13/12/2013 22:20 - Germany

Today, I came across a tourist in the street asking people for directions, but nobody understood him. I speak English, so I went to help the gentleman out. He said "Knock it off with the cheesy accent, pal" and informed me that my country is a shithole. FML

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in this day and age.... - 19/10/2023 16:25 - United States - Dallas

Today, the first words I heard from my "good, Christian" future mother-in-law included a salvo of curse words and a hushed rant about "them dirty Jews". I'm culturally Jewish. This bodes well. FML

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Brain worms

smooth - - United States

Today, my coworker pointed to our nervous new intern and asked who he was. I jokingly said, "Can't you tell? He's our new slave." I then quickly realized how bad that sounded, given the intern is black. FML

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tipsypiink 0

Saturday 9 May 2009 2:53

hahah did the parents leave a nice tip after that? (;

RyanRaygun 0

Saturday 9 May 2009 2:54

Most kids are little *****. Don't feel bad.

Alice_Renee 0

Saturday 9 May 2009 3:30

um, wow.

L0L_Sarah 0

Saturday 9 May 2009 3:30

haha this is the latest FML that made me actually laugh in a while!

efmivida 0

Saturday 9 May 2009 3:31

hahahaha, and funny enough i can actually see that happening

Thoams_fml 0

Saturday 9 May 2009 3:31

#6 Wins

soccerkristig 0

Saturday 9 May 2009 3:32

This is great, I actually laughed out loud! *favorite*

_cheeseballs 0

Saturday 9 May 2009 3:33

This made me actually laugh out loud too!

Waabishkii_ikwe 0

Saturday 9 May 2009 3:35

Oh, wow. I hope her parents didn't get you fired!

shmaller 0

Saturday 9 May 2009 3:36

I'm sure you received a generous tip after that.

AngelRaven89 0

Saturday 9 May 2009 3:38

Oh dear. I bet that went over real well... xD

iPhanny 0

Saturday 9 May 2009 3:42

Ahahaha man, I've done that before... Just nothing as bad as that!

Miscellaneous My ex Stalker Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I found out that my girlfriend of two years broke up with me because she wants to "become" a lesbian. I also learned that she's coming to my house for dinner tonight. My sister is her date. FML

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Today, we were at the end of our surfing trip watching a photo montage. A picture popped up of an ugly girl surfing so I shouted out "I didn't know Shrek could surf". The room went very quiet. "Shrek" was sitting beside me. FML

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Today, after my therapist told me I should open up to my friends more, I sent a message to a pen-pal and told her that I had asked for and found help with my postpartum troubles. She replied that I'm a bad friend for "always burdening her with my problems." FML

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Today, I woke up feeling ecstatic, because last night, my crush had told my best friend he likes me a lot. I sent him a text message telling him the feeling is mutual. A little while after sending it, it hit me that his confession had only been part of a dream. FML

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Today, I walked into Best Buy to buy a 42" widescreen TV I'd been saving up for many months. As I walked in, a man stopped me and handed me my wallet that I'd accidentally dropped. I thanked him. Five minutes later at the checkout, I opened up my wallet to realize it was empty. He had stolen everything. FML

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Today, I got hit by a car. My friends left me to get to the hospital myself. The cab was double fare. FML

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