Kids, Awkward Work What did you just say?

What did you just say?

keeks_25 - - Canada

Today, I was serving a family at the restaurant where I work. When I went to ask the little girl what she wanted, I was tongue-tied and got "cutie" and "hun" mixed up and ended up asking, "What can I get for you, cuntie?" FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Confused?

Anonymous - - Canada

Today, while at my job as a hostess, I was seating a couple and their adorable little girl. I tried to ask how old she was, but what came out was, "Aww, what breed is she?" FML

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Suave

getmoneyab - - Mexico

Today, I went to Cheesecake Factory for dinner. There was a hot waiter who kept passing by. He saw me looking at him and I knew I had to say something. So when he approached my table I asked, "Excuse me, do you have any salt?" and he said, "I think it's right there on the table." FML

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Cheeky

BurnedByAWaiter -

Today, I went on a blind date at a fancy restaurant. My date was running a bit late, so I went ahead and got a table. I got bored, so I decided to ask my waiter how I looked. He stood there, then said that, "It's against company policy to mock customers to their face." FML

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ISwearImNotOCD - 05/04/2017 08:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I found out that the chefs at my work can't spell for shit. FML

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Never do this, my dudes

bluecollar - - United States

Today, there was a luncheon at work in another dept. We all went to get some free food and see new faces. There was a hot girl walking around chatting. I grabbed my buddy's arm and told him there was a "nice pair of tits here." He saw her. She's his daughter. She's a new-hire… running HR. FML

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There was an attempt…

JoshTheUnluckyFromKentucky - - United States - Folsom

Today, I got on the bus to go to work. I managed to get a seat, but an old lady who looked tired had to stand. I offered her my seat, but she glared at me, frowned and said, "Go fuck yourself." Everyone laughed as I sat there in dismay. FML

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The strangeness of strangers

Hank Gummyworm - - United States

Today, I was working the register at our local McDonald's. After a strange man left a massive order, he said, "Can I pay you in gummy worms?" FML

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thank u usa - 13/12/2013 22:20 - Germany

Today, I came across a tourist in the street asking people for directions, but nobody understood him. I speak English, so I went to help the gentleman out. He said "Knock it off with the cheesy accent, pal" and informed me that my country is a shithole. FML

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in this day and age.... - 19/10/2023 16:25 - United States - Dallas

Today, the first words I heard from my "good, Christian" future mother-in-law included a salvo of curse words and a hushed rant about "them dirty Jews". I'm culturally Jewish. This bodes well. FML

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Brain worms

smooth - - United States

Today, my coworker pointed to our nervous new intern and asked who he was. I jokingly said, "Can't you tell? He's our new slave." I then quickly realized how bad that sounded, given the intern is black. FML

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tipsypiink 0

Saturday 9 May 2009 2:53

hahah did the parents leave a nice tip after that? (;

RyanRaygun 0

Saturday 9 May 2009 2:54

Most kids are little *****. Don't feel bad.

pikL3bOi 0

Sunday 21 June 2009 5:47

No ******* way ths happened I'm calling bullshit

kaytie1701 0

Sunday 5 July 2009 2:00

Hahahahahahah this is the first FML I've actually laughed at for ages LOL that's classic work :p

ThatOtherPerson 0

Sunday 5 July 2009 8:00

lmfao. one of the few funny fml's on here

Ray77_fml 0

Thursday 16 July 2009 17:58

Oh wow... I do that all the time... just not quite that bad... :D

jdizzle1245 0

Tuesday 4 August 2009 22:38

wow i bet the little girl kicked your ass

tangerine_12 0

Thursday 13 August 2009 0:43

Yeah...I'm pretty sure the *little girl* doesn't know what "cuntie" means. Unless, of course, she's raised in a very messed up family. But seriously, that's so hilarious!! I couldn't stop laughing. There's no way this is bullshit.

legion13 0

Monday 7 September 2009 4:53

Just like viva la bam when ape calls them all assies. Lol

faceplantation 2

Sunday 20 September 2009 2:20

i would die of embarrassment right there lol x

alexthedude 0

Tuesday 29 September 2009 23:50

lmfao!! wow thats a great one. i love it. sorry tho but stikl gave a good laugh and helped cheer up my day. =|

HunterStockton 0

Friday 11 December 2009 19:47

Don't give a shit if it's true of fake - that's the funniest FML I've ever read..... Literally made me spray the mouthful of water I was drinking over the computer screen!!!