Intimacy: Whaaaaat? - FML

Whaaaaat?

By erphy21 - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Lompoc

Today, my 18 year-old son learned that just because his girlfriend was on top doesn't mean gravity will prevent her from becoming pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 307

You deserved it 6 391

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 22/10/2014 16:09 - Norway - Egersund

Today, my 17-year-old son managed to easily convince my 13-year-old daughter that if you have sex before getting married, you'll instantly get horrible diseases that will kill you. Her freaking out is how I found out she's not only gullible as hell, but sexually active as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 329

You deserved it 6 072

By fucked by sex ed - 29/03/2013 17:18 - United States - Manchester

Today, my 19-year-old son told me his girlfriend is pregnant, and was diagnosed with an STD. He's sure that he's the father. He's also sure he doesn't have an STD, because he's a virgin. I had to give him the sex talk that his school never did, as well as explain to him that his girlfriend is a cheater. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 899

You deserved it 17 024

Bad grandparenting

By Anonymous - 24/12/2024 23:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my youngest, the 17 year-old, told me she’s pregnant. That makes it official: despite all my warnings about safe sex, all three of my daughters got pregnant before the age of 18. FML

I agree, your life sucks 455

You deserved it 372

By Anonymous - 04/05/2016 14:15 - United Kingdom - Saint Austell

Today, I found out that my daughter not only has a boyfriend, but that they're trying for a baby. She's barely 15. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 797

You deserved it 2 883

By Erica - 09/12/2018 13:00 - Australia - Sydney

Today, not only did I find out that my 13 year-old daughter is pregnant, I found out that she did it on purpose "to prove that she’s responsible." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 571

You deserved it 710

Kids these days…

By Anonymous - 08/10/2024 08:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I spent a good few minutes watching my wife thrash our son with a pillow because despite all our warnings to him about safe sex, he and his girlfriend are going to be parents in about 6 months, and they’re both 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks 566

You deserved it 120

By aprouddaddy - 04/12/2014 23:46 - France - Paris

Today, I was a bit upset to learn that my 13 year-old daughter had a boyfriend. When she noticed, she assured me that I shouldn't worry, because "it's just for sex anyway". FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 871

You deserved it 6 594

Yeet it

By Anonymous - 22/05/2020 05:00

Today, I found out that even though my girlfriend is on the pill, and even though my girlfriend took emergency contraception, she became pregnant days after the first time we had sex without a condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 373

You deserved it 1 188

She'll learn

By alyssa - 01/04/2021 21:30

Today, my four-year-old daughter believes that all women will automatically become pregnant at some point during their lives. At least we don’t have to save for college. FML

I agree, your life sucks 379

You deserved it 1 458

By bummed - 04/11/2010 03:16 - United States

Today, I found out a 6-month pregnant woman is claiming my boyfriend to be the father. Even though this would have been previous to our relationship, he already has two kids from getting girls pregnant in high school. I guess he didn't learn his lesson the first two times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 215

You deserved it 16 659

Next

Top comments

zharks1010 18

Sunday 27 September 2015 15:29

Your son is a dumbass

pokemyeyes 23

Sunday 27 September 2015 15:30

#facepalm

Comments

gogo44444 28

Monday 28 September 2015 3:23

May god himself come down from heaven and slap some sense into your son

ezrajab 22

Monday 28 September 2015 4:29

Ohh boy sounds like you need to have a serious discussion with him asap best of luck op!

butterbunny 15

Monday 28 September 2015 4:34

Oh lord... Reason number 6482937 that sex ed should be mandatory...

cosmicdancer84 7

Monday 28 September 2015 4:35

That's your fault, you should've talked to your son about sex...and birth control.

BeenIt 5

Monday 28 September 2015 4:42

Dumb people shouldn't be allowed to have sex or procreate. It's too risky.

pangio 2

Monday 28 September 2015 4:53

Congratulations You are going to be a Grandma/Grandpa

baxwar 15

Monday 28 September 2015 5:18

It's because we're so afraid of explaining sex Ed to children If America didn't frown upon sex so much there would be less situations like this God damn it California

Familyof3 5

Monday 28 September 2015 5:26

Welcome to becoming a grandparent. Lesson 101 Always keep biscuits in the cupboard for when grandchildren come over.

PuggieKid 22

Monday 28 September 2015 6:50

Are you sure he's allowed to have a gf?.. Cause like.... Yea..

snowflake2410 3

Monday 28 September 2015 7:51

Congratulations, you officially have an idiotic dipshit for a son, Gramps.

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Today, I went to get drinks for the first time with a guy I'd been talking to. He drank 4 drinks in the span of 30 minutes, and fell asleep at the table. I went to the bathroom before getting the check, and I came back to find he'd thrown up all over our table. Needless to say, I left without saying a word to him and deleted his number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 148

You deserved it 189

Today, some of my classmates brought cupcakes to celebrate my birthday. I took the leftovers with me after class, and when my mom picked me up from school, she asked, "What are the cupcakes for?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 393

You deserved it 2 847

Today, my girlfriend of two and half years broke up with me because I'm no longer able to give her the physical attention she needs. I live 4 hours away and we have been this way for almost a year. She found another guy to do it behind my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 167

You deserved it 330

Today, I was drawing while on the train, when a very good-looking woman looked at my work and said, "Wow, she's pretty. Is it supposed to be me?" She'd said it in a flirty tone, but before I could stop myself, I'd said, "Nah, it's just a generic face." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 494

You deserved it 10 813

Today, I was getting ready to go pick up a few things for much-needed projects around the house, when I heard my husband yelling from the basement. The lawnmower had kicked a rock through the expensive sliding glass door we just finished paying off. The rattling refrigerator may have to wait. FML

I agree, your life sucks 942

You deserved it 139

Today, I was feeling a bit randy, so when my boyfriend got home, I jumped on him and gave him a proper deep-tongue kiss. I noticed he tasted a bit weird, so I asked him when he last brushed his teeth. His answer: the day we had dinner with his mother. That was 2 weeks ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 801

You deserved it 543