Miscellaneous: Today, my house got robbed, while I was upstairs taking a dump....

By Anonymous - 20/10/2009 10:56 - Australia

Today, my house got robbed, while I was upstairs taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 238

You deserved it 6 135

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Same thing different taste

By Mike - 25/04/2011 21:39

Today, my house was robbed while I sat helplessly on the toilet with violent diarrhoea. I could hear them laughing hysterically. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 764

You deserved it 6 400

By Starving Ultimatum - 02/09/2011 01:55 - United States

Today, I was robbed while recovering from a robbery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 952

You deserved it 3 130

By paywithpoop - 22/06/2014 15:10 - United States

Today, I came home and found that my home had been robbed. The worst part? One of the thieves took a dump in my toilet and didn't flush. It doesn't even look human. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 024

You deserved it 3 893

By Anonymous - 26/06/2015 16:29 - United States - Woodland

Today, my house was robbed while I was at work. The robber left a note telling me my stuff was crappy and that they found my safe under the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 669

You deserved it 2 163

By xobeachbabi428ox - 18/07/2009 22:32 - United States

Today, I used a public bathroom. I hung my purse up on the hook on the door. Two minutes later, a hand reaches over the door and steals my purse. I got robbed while taking a crap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 217

You deserved it 7 987

By BedazzledAlpaca - 08/12/2014 05:03 - United States - Englewood

Today, I fell asleep on the couch and woke up to find that I had slept through my house getting robbed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 868

You deserved it 4 314

By why me - 24/10/2017 01:30

Today, someone broke into my house and stole all of my underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 331

You deserved it 292

By XYZee - 22/08/2012 20:27 - United States - Rockmart

Today, after quite a long work day, I got home to find my house had been broken into. Everything but my sleeping boyfriend was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 964

You deserved it 2 010

Where am I?

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - Netherlands - Den Dungen

Today, I fell asleep while taking a dump. At work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 280

You deserved it 5 038

By Username - 13/12/2010 18:10 - United States

Today, while taking a shower, I was enthusiastically singing one of my favorite songs. When I got out, I noticed a bunch of things missing, and a note on my desk saying "shut the f*ck up, you suck." I was robbed and judged by a thief. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 107

You deserved it 4 305

albinorhino 0

Tuesday 20 October 2009 16:07

well that shit musta been worth it huh...

Kervik 0

Tuesday 20 October 2009 16:48

"I don't know about you, but when I crap, I crap LOUD." Yup, the whole internet wanted to hear that.

Comments

lazylacey 0

Wednesday 21 October 2009 15:52

no other fml story has made me laugh harder than this one... lol!

Superawesomestev 0

Wednesday 21 October 2009 16:08

venemous guard snakes... haha! rofl

YoungTechnique 0

Wednesday 21 October 2009 17:52

Hahahahahahahahahahaha, this just made my day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

eleutheros 3

Thursday 22 October 2009 1:29

And mine! Beautiful! :D

TAST3MYRAINB00Wx 0

Thursday 22 October 2009 3:07

this made me laugh YDI for not securing your home

Aerianna 0

Thursday 22 October 2009 22:18

...Did you shit youself?

metakingt 0

Friday 23 October 2009 3:28

Holy shit batman!

DiaSin 0

Monday 26 October 2009 3:41

Wow. You really should lock your doors when you are home alone. Nice job taking the laptop to the bathroom with you though.

minimedanielle 0

Wednesday 28 October 2009 22:31

YDI for being so dumb and not hearing any thing and seriosly who takes that long to take a dump

emmah_15 0

Monday 2 November 2009 15:05

what does ydi mean :$

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I fell asleep. I felt something on my face. I batted it away. It was my hamster. It died from a concussion upon hitting the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 789

You deserved it 16 013

Today, the guy that I like took me on to the Cavaliers game. At the game, on the jumbotron they do a thing where they show couples and have them kiss, the camera goes on to us and as I go into kiss him, he turns and says, "Not in this lifetime". The entire stadium got to see me get rejected. FML

I agree, your life sucks 146 549

You deserved it 11 267

Today, a friend asked me if I'd buy him some condoms because he's too shy to buy them himself. I obliged and whilst queuing at the till to buy them I felt someone tap my shoulder. I turned around to see my fiancée glaring at me. We don't use condoms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 054

You deserved it 6 843

Today, I had a family reunion and there were a lot of people there that I didn't know. The person that I'd been sleeping with for about 7 months showed up. He's my cousin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 268

You deserved it 342

Today, I thought my mother was coming into my room to give me lunch. She gave me cleaning supplies instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 658

You deserved it 3 182

Today, my mom signed me up for Weight Watchers as a surprise birthday present. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 711

You deserved it 11 534

Same thing different taste

Where am I?

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