Intimacy: Today, I went to a zoo that had a gorilla in a cage. I walked...

By gorillalove - 11/09/2010 19:25 - United States

Today, I went to a zoo that had a gorilla in a cage. I walked up, and the gorilla stopped what he was doing, looked me in the eyes, and started jacking off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 325

You deserved it 10 570

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

I am sexy

By Anonymous - 19/12/2019 18:00

Today, I went to a zoo that had a gorilla in a cage. I walked up, and the gorilla stopped what he was doing, looked me in the eyes, and started jacking off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 497

You deserved it 508

By foojew93 - 09/08/2009 17:41 - United States

Today, I was walking at a section of the zoo where you are in the cage, and the monkeys are climbing outside of the cage. I was having a great time until I looked up and one of the monkeys urinated all over my face. Not only did everyone see, but there was no way for me to shower for six hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 332

You deserved it 3 836

By Anonymous - 15/05/2012 03:52 - United States

Today, I walked in on my dad introducing his stuffed gorilla to his cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 952

You deserved it 2 926

By Anonymous - 04/04/2015 12:53 - United States

Today, while at the zoo with my boyfriend, he pointed at the howling gorillas and shouted over to me: "Hah! That's what you sound like in bed!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 607

You deserved it 4 256

You what?

By Anonymous - 26/03/2023 04:00 - Venezuela - Caracas

Today, I went to park with a guy I've been infatuated for a long time. We got into his car and found a lovely lonely spot. Then he started talking about kinks, and I noticed that he had a gorilla suit in the back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 032

You deserved it 229

Animal union

By Anonymous - 01/02/2023 10:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, I went to the zoo to see all of my favorite animals. When I got there, I realized they must've all been on strike or something, and refused to come out of their enclosures. FML

I agree, your life sucks 600

You deserved it 288

By mc_dreamy - 21/08/2010 16:49 - United States

Today, I took my brother and nieces to the zoo. Two of the lions at the exhibit were mating, so I said, "They're playing leap-frog." My 4-year-old niece said, "Looks like they're fucking to me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 676

You deserved it 16 056

By LennyComa - 19/03/2017 00:00

Today, I was punched in the balls by a monkey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 602

You deserved it 943

What the…

By bunny - 16/08/2009 13:58 - United States

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend humping my stuffed rabbit. I thought he was trying to be funny until I saw that he had an erection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 367

You deserved it 5 012

By Anonymous - 25/09/2013 21:33 - United Kingdom

Today, I walked in on my roommate whacking off to clown porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 267

You deserved it 7 069

djaeb2001 3

Sunday 12 September 2010 1:26

u must be hot!!!!!

cookiesofchaos 0

Sunday 12 September 2010 1:27

pics or... nevermind.

Comments

sourgirl101 28

Sunday 12 September 2010 4:04

Brass Monkey - that funky Monkey Brass Monkey - junkie That funky monkey.

verrronica 7

Sunday 12 September 2010 4:05

who said it was you that did it? don't flatter yourself.

perdix 29

Sunday 12 September 2010 4:13

Too bad you don't have that effect on any male humans. Your path to a non-barren sex life is Primatology. Start studying and drinking.

TheRedPhantom 0

Sunday 12 September 2010 4:14

sexxy!!

6ixtynin9 2

Sunday 12 September 2010 4:16

awww someone likes you

magenmurderr 0

Sunday 12 September 2010 4:20

can gorrillas even do that??

boopityboppity 11

Sunday 12 September 2010 4:23

No, but "gorillas" can.

zah_ali 3

Sunday 12 September 2010 9:34

lol!

aRm95 0

Sunday 12 September 2010 4:22

lmfaooo

stewpididiot 11

Sunday 12 September 2010 4:26

That's no Gorilla... That's my wife !!!!!!

TaylorTotsYumm 10

Sunday 12 September 2010 4:29

Your wife has a penis? That's cool.

stewpididiot 11

Sunday 12 September 2010 4:31

Gorilla suit. $250. one Viagra pill $25. ticket to the zoo $20. The look on your face as I nutted on your leg,..... PRICELESS

OhaiChristina 0

Sunday 12 September 2010 4:32

Awh, he loves you. (:

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Awkward Pokémon Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I rushed home because my wife called to let me know she was feeling horny for the first time after getting over a bad flu. I walked in the door and surprise surprise, her sister had called round, wanting sympathy after her latest fuckbuddy dumped her. Romantic mood ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 309

You deserved it 214

Today, my stomach growled so loud in class that a boy sitting next to me thought his phone had vibrated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 407

You deserved it 2 280

Today, my mom called me crazy and told me she wanted to put me in a mental hospital. She did this after repeatedly hitting me with a shoe. Why? Because I forgot to put the cap back on the toothpaste. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 275

You deserved it 3 775

Today, I used up the last of my deodorant for a business meeting on Zoom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 655

You deserved it 1 417

Today, my boss made up a rumor that I was quitting my job so I wouldn't get the promotion that was coming up. There goes that raise I've been wanting for six months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 987

You deserved it 1 557

Today, I was at my job where we buy precious metals. A man came in and said, "Here, I have something special for you." He then pulled a tooth out of his mouth that had dental gold on it and placed in it my bare hand. Yeah, special indeed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 988

You deserved it 314