Kids: Today, I was pushing my 4 year old on the swing. I did what we...

By Dang-ItsDanielle - 07/03/2009 18:28 - United States

Today, I was pushing my 4 year old on the swing. I did what we call our "under doggie push": I throw her up in the air while I run underneath her before she hits me coming back down. I walked away to get my water and she yelled across the park "Can we do it doggie-style again?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 377

You deserved it 19 435

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Same thing different taste

By BabyButt - 09/04/2014 17:50 - United States - Honolulu

Today, I went on a date with my boyfriend to our local park, and I playfully climbed into one of the baby swings. I planned on having him push me, not getting stuck and having to be cut free from the seat while he laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 628

You deserved it 41 615

Straight to jail

By anon - 15/07/2011 01:51 - United States

Today, my child was refusing to leave the playground. I had to pry her, screaming and crying, from the monkey bars. I then realized I had been assaulting someone else's kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 007

You deserved it 70 997

By Pisser - 26/06/2014 04:57 - United States - Portland

Today, my sweet 7-month-old puppy ran up to a big fat dog at the park and did what she always does: roll over on her back to start to play. The big fat dog lifted his leg and peed all over my puppy's belly. After the shock, my soaking wet puppy jumped on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 199

You deserved it 5 730

By Jack00412 - 08/07/2014 19:55 - United States - Montague

Today, I walked outside to find my 3 year-old daughter and her pet fish playing together on the swings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 320

You deserved it 5 542

By geli - 09/08/2016 00:12

Today, while at the public swimming pool, I gave my 2-year-old daughter a piggy back ride in the pool. We were having fun until I realized she had untied my swim top. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 796

You deserved it 1 455

By lolmyfduplife - 24/12/2015 06:10

Today, I put my 5 month-old daughter in her swinging chair and walked into the kitchen to make her a bottle. When I came back, she was giggling because the dog was licking her face. It would have been cute, picture worthy even, if I actually had a dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 707

You deserved it 2 099

By uterurist - 22/11/2014 18:37 - United States - Saint Paul

Today, my son trained his little sister to walk up to strangers and whimper: "My mommy punches me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 875

You deserved it 2 922

By kids say the darnedest things - 19/07/2014 02:56 - United States - Denver

Today, my 3-year-old daughter asked me to carry her from the car to the house. I asked her for 3 kisses and a hug in return. She said she'd rather walk instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 309

You deserved it 7 139

By Anonymous - 12/01/2012 18:41 - United Kingdom

Today, I spun a two year old upside down, in circles. She wasn't remotely dizzy. I threw up on myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 630

You deserved it 11 088

Beast Mode

By Vee - 24/09/2017 07:00 - United States

Today, my 80lb black lab decided that the moment I start doing pushups is her cue to mount me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 223

You deserved it 440

FML_allthetime 0

Saturday 7 March 2009 23:36

hahahaha! thats pretty great! if i were another parent in the park, i would be concerned...

Recon_fml 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 0:26

This was a much needed laugh for the day Thanks! My wife and I do it doggy style all the time. I sit up and beg, she rolls over and plays dead. :P

Comments

Objectofdespair 1

Monday 16 April 2012 6:58

Definitely going to be thumbed up

AmericanRedcoat 6

Thursday 7 June 2012 13:59

Aw, so cute. Sorry mate, I think the other parents would understand.

itsameally 2

Tuesday 18 September 2012 3:16

Hahahahhahaha that just made my day :) thank you lol

niquenique_ 7

Friday 28 December 2012 15:15

lmao. That is hilarious.

Lelliott 7

Wednesday 5 March 2014 7:41

Oh my god haha we used to call it an under duck, maybe try that

anonymous100000 17

Monday 3 November 2014 21:54

why that name? really? under doggie push? why doggie? YDI.

KittyHawkMarch 29

Friday 7 November 2014 4:37

They grow up so fast.... Ugh

dannnngthatsux 19

Thursday 1 October 2015 20:44

At least you aren't dad!

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Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 267 595

You deserved it 90 936

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You deserved it 7 121

Same thing different taste

Straight to jail

Beast Mode

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