Miscellaneous: Today, I was playing around with my sister's kitten. As a joke,...

Agree with #12 And lawl @ #35. I wish the kitten would have clawed our balls OFF. No need for you to reproduce. The human race is stupid as it is. Unless you raise your kids to be against animal cruelty, and stupidity.

roundkickkid 0

Sunday 7 June 2009 21:20

Kitten karma!!!

love_jd13 0

Sunday 7 June 2009 21:24

A big pussy got owned by a little pussy. Moral of the story: Don't mess with kittens! :)

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Today, I asked my Swedish friend for some lines to impress this Swedish girl I'd met at an expat party he took me to. I practised them all evening before I met her. I told her my feelings, and she scowled. Apparently I had wished the devil upon her - after asking if I could ejaculate on her face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 129

You deserved it 22 886

Today, before I went to bed, I watched a terrifying movie with zombies. I woke up with a headache, a bloody nose, and my mom standing over me frantically asking me what was wrong. Apparently I had been "fighting the zombies off" in my sleep and had been punching myself in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 329

You deserved it 13 264

Today, while my mother was driving me to school, her coffee started to spill. So like a normal parent, she held it over my lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 618

You deserved it 2 301

Today, I'm closing on a house with my boyfriend of 9 years at the end of this week. We have plans to be engaged. When discussing what rooms would be what, he mentioned how one could be a nursery. I told him 9 years ago, and several other times, that I didn't want kids. Turns out he's been waiting for me to change my mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 980

You deserved it 449

Today, I woke up at 2 a.m. and ate some chips that were on my nightstand, totally unaware that they were covered in ants. Now I have two swollen lips and my kid’s birthday party is tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 401

You deserved it 1 160

Today, my father came over to my house. I realized there were condoms on the table, so I subtly moved a vase to hide them. He then gave me an unamused look and said, "I know you have sex. You've been married for nine years. Grow the fuck up, dumbass." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 601

You deserved it 91 072