Health: Today, I was hanging out with the guy I like. All of a sudden,...

By radicaloser - 25/03/2011 08:50 - United States

Today, I was hanging out with the guy I like. All of a sudden, he pulls out a small vial of his blood to give to me, proving his undying love. Curious, I asked where he had gotten the blood. His answer? A razor blade. In his nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 440

You deserved it 5 574

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Sharing is caring

By Anonymous - 11/08/2021 00:01

Today, I was making out with this guy when my nose started bleeding, and it got on his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 882

You deserved it 107

Romance isn't dead

By broken - 13/09/2009 04:26 - United States

Today, I was fooling around with my boyfriend in his room. He grabbed me behind the head to pull me in for a hard, romantic kiss. He accidentally smashed my nose into his cheekbone, and my nose started gushing blood and continued to bleed for over 2 hours. It's broken, and he just laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 013

You deserved it 4 481

By keerta_fml - 04/05/2017 02:00

Today, while volunteering to feed the homeless, one of them asked me to follow him to his car where he had a knife and bottle so he could "bottle up my blood". FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 815

You deserved it 442

By alisaav - 08/08/2014 07:40 - Thailand

Today, I saw a cute guy walking out of a restaurant. When he saw me, he smiled and to be a bit flirty I bit my lip. Too bad it started to bleed like hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 275

You deserved it 13 662

By Anonymous - 29/03/2011 23:58 - Canada

Today, I wound up in hospital because my boyfriend covered my face in fake gore while I was sleeping, to see if I was really as scared of blood as I claimed. Sure enough, when I saw my reflection in the bathroom mirror, I fainted, smashing my head against the counter on the way down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 963

You deserved it 3 991

Passionate

By Anonymous - 09/10/2020 02:00

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate in an alley. He pushed me up against a wall and started kissing me, but he pushed me so hard I cut open my head and needed 10 stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 158

You deserved it 483

Classy

By dontask - 01/10/2010 01:55 - United States

Today, the guy I've been crushing on for years and I finally went on a date. While on the date, he threw up in my purse and stuck tampons up his nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 866

You deserved it 4 436

By Maria - 14/03/2017 15:00 - United Kingdom - York

Today, my boyfriend had his arm around me. He pulled me closer, so I looked up, thinking maybe he wanted a kiss. Turns out he was picking his nose over my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 677

You deserved it 409

By Anonymous - 12/05/2012 22:09 - Netherlands - Vianen

Today, while at work, I managed to scrape open the inside of my nose with my fingernail, drawing blood in the process. I had to quickly up an explanation for my scream that didn't go: "Well, I was scouting for boogers..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 507

You deserved it 24 728

By Username - 22/02/2010 05:44 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was telling me about accidentally punching his best friend in the face. As he was acting it out he ended up punching me and giving me a bloody nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 120

You deserved it 3 327

biggary19 3

Friday 25 March 2011 15:38

looks like u found a keeper lol

lilspike2231 5

Friday 25 March 2011 15:46

Then give him period blood.....jk lmao

Comments

pokopiko 9

Saturday 26 March 2011 4:24

is your boyfriend perhaps a tiger?

radicaloser 6

Saturday 26 March 2011 8:05

Perhaps, maybe. Aha.

JokeMeister 0

Saturday 26 March 2011 5:05

research has it's benefits

GeneralMotors 23

Saturday 26 March 2011 5:10

are you a couple still?

skinollie 0

Saturday 26 March 2011 5:14

is his name forest by chance? I think I went to school with him

dansco 24

Saturday 26 March 2011 5:52

Shush Angelina! Billy Bob is just mental! By the fact you didn't write that they were a mental case, you are too for accepting it!!!

Ynunez 3

Saturday 26 March 2011 6:25

That's creepy in so many levels o_O

TheNewGuy03 28

Saturday 26 March 2011 6:52

you should just encourage him to provide a vial of splooge. that way, it's more convenient for him, and it provides extra uses for you if you prefer! there's no better way to prove your undying love for him than a baby! [disclaimer: i don't actually encourage any of this.] |the dude|

Dustin_Pedobear 9

Saturday 26 March 2011 7:35

OP, would you say that the guy you like is gothic or "emo"?

Dustin_Pedobear 9

Saturday 26 March 2011 7:41

Because in certain circles, such as "emo" and gothic cliques, giving someone a vial of your blood is an expression of immense love and passion, usually meaning that they would give the very blood that keeps them alive to you. And yes, in the underground "vampire" nightclubs, you would be expected to give him a vial of your blood and either keep or drink his.

radicaloser 6

Saturday 26 March 2011 8:03

Well, yes. I would consider him "emo" if I had to consider him something.. He wears all black, dyes his hair black, straightens it into his face, and so on. Immense love and passion, you say? I'm still trying to figure out if I should take it as a good thing or not.

kaengelangeleyes 9

Tuesday 19 June 2012 11:30

I dont think you should. I really hope you left him before he did something more than that. Im afraid for you hahahah. Despite where this comes from, thats really, really not healthy or normal. Extreme stuff like that never leads to anything good. He sounds manic depressive if thats the way he shows his undying love to you.