Animals: Today, I smashed a spider with my pencil eraser. Later, I absentmindedly...

By GetMeTheDamnBleach - 21/10/2014 19:46 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, I smashed a spider with my pencil eraser. Later, I absentmindedly chewed on it while doing my homework. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 522

You deserved it 32 173

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Same thing different taste

By Heyme - 09/12/2008 13:50 - France

Today, I was working and eating. I was so tired that I bit into my pen and smeared my chocolate-filled pastry on my exercise book. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 396

You deserved it 6 730

By scarred4life - 27/04/2011 14:05 - Canada

Today, I was absentmindedly playing with a piece of lint. When I looked at it, I realized that I had been rolling and squeezing a dead spider in my fingers for about five minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 845

You deserved it 19 108

By dumbblonde - 06/08/2009 03:04 - United States

Today, I was sitting at the computer when this really annoying fly kept landing on the keyboard. After a while, I took the bottom of a pen and squished it. Twenty minutes later I absentmindedly started chewing at the bottom of the pen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 278

You deserved it 62 349

Maths

By lorena_v - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, I screamed at the top of my lungs in the middle of a math test because I saw a spider that wound up being a hairball. My teacher was incredibly sympathetic, taking off only five points for "disrupting our working environment". FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 462

You deserved it 4 222

By somuchforthat - 19/02/2010 07:38 - Australia

Today, I woke up and found a small leg of what used to belong to a spider on the corner of my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 716

You deserved it 2 521

Best teeth in the game

By Nochnoii - 07/10/2009 20:07 - Belgium

Today, I was chewing my pen while I was paying attention to my teacher. I chewed a bit too hard, and something broke off, so I casually looked at my pen. It was unharmed. One of my front teeth had broken off. Everyone in class, including the teacher, had to see it before I could call my dentist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 679

You deserved it 13 265

By gaggin - 26/12/2012 19:30 - United States - Beverly Hills

Today, I woke up to find pieces of a dead spider stuck in my braces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 171

You deserved it 3 988

Happy meal

By ollierocks96 - 17/12/2009 21:43 - United States

Today, I was eating lunch outside with my friends, when a spider fell on one guy's back. I glanced at it and opened my mouth to warn him when another guy flicked it and it went into my mouth. I can still taste it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 570

You deserved it 3 027

By Jesus - 27/09/2011 02:03 - Canada

Today, I saw what I thought was a spider. Wanting to kill it as quickly as possible, I smacked my hand against the wall with force. It was a nail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 268

You deserved it 32 026

By Annie - 24/08/2015 08:46 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was laying on the couch, reading, when I noticed a spindly leg poking round the corner of my book. Upon realising it was a spider, I calmly and rationally threw my book across the room, breaking the TV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 790

You deserved it 9 274

leaper66 12

Wednesday 22 October 2014 1:19

Hope it didn't taste too bad...

BeepBeepSwerve 9

Wednesday 22 October 2014 1:19

a little mid afternoon snack!

Comments

catanita 18

Wednesday 22 October 2014 8:13

A very good source of proteins.

GuiLD15 7

Wednesday 22 October 2014 10:38

why all the ydi points

katties 27

Wednesday 22 October 2014 17:38

Because it's the person's own fault for having such nasty habits

Baileysear488 17

Wednesday 22 October 2014 16:27

Its karma, the spider wants revenge. ;)

prettyinpinkxoxo 9

Wednesday 22 October 2014 16:31

Ew ew ew >__

winnizzo 7

Wednesday 22 October 2014 19:06

Lol pay back time

aine500 16

Wednesday 22 October 2014 19:22

I feel like throwing up now

megansheeran 21

Wednesday 22 October 2014 23:33

I really hope you washed your mouth out multiple times...ew.

Jaighalor 5

Thursday 23 October 2014 0:11

Solution, don't do homework...

beybmoo 15

Thursday 23 October 2014 2:18

It's called 'karma'.

Kimmy3214 9

Thursday 23 October 2014 23:51

Lol! ? sorry but this was too funny!

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Today, I was at work at an office store. I was instructed to put together several tape-free cardboard boxes. I then realized that I can disassemble and reassemble a computer with my eyes closed and one hand behind my back, but I was outsmarted by a cardboard box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 690

You deserved it 8 486

Today, I found out that when my parents said they couldn't afford gifts for us kids, what they really meant was that they weren't buying a gift for me. I found this out when I overheard my father telling my uncle about the things he got my siblings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 481

You deserved it 1 350

Today, my 5 year old son asked me to explain how he was born. After I told him I had a C-Section, he went to school and told everyone he was born at sea. I found out when the teacher called me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 430

You deserved it 6 693

Today, I got a parking ticket for parking in my neighbors' parking spot. I parked there because my neighbors were parked in my parking spot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 444

You deserved it 2 538

Today, at work at an OB office, I heard a ruckus in the hallway before a very large woman burst into my room and tried to attack my very pregnant patient. Crazy lady is the wife of the pregnant lady’s baby daddy, who is nowhere to be found. I don’t get paid enough for this shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 602

You deserved it 75

Today, I was very cold and tired, so I took a shower to warm up and went to bed. The minute I hopped into bed, it collapsed and broke. I have spent half-an-hour rearranging furniture to get the mattress on to the floor. Now I'm cold again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 322

You deserved it 3 284

Same thing different taste

Maths

Best teeth in the game

Happy meal

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