Health: Today, as I was walking to work, a cyclist shot out of nowhere...

By fuck right off - 04/04/2015 17:32 - United Kingdom - Coalville

Today, as I was walking to work, a cyclist shot out of nowhere and slammed into me. I hit the ground hard and lay there in agony. The guy quickly dusted himself off, said "Sorry man. It's a vicious cycle." then chuckled at his own stupid pun and cycled away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 552

You deserved it 3 031

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By i hit a cyclist - 27/05/2013 11:19 - United Kingdom - Nottingham

Today, I accidentally hit a cyclist with my car. In panic, I jumped out of my car and ran up to him, who was lying on the floor, motionless. As I was about to check his pulse, he jumped up and shouted, "I bet you thought I was dead, asshole!" He then punched me in the face and cycled off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 094

You deserved it 25 639

Crushed

By Anonymous - 12/08/2012 23:08 - United States - Saddle Brook

Today, while on my morning jog, I turned a corner, and out of nowhere, the business end of a bicycle hit me straight in the nuts. As I collapsed, gasping in agony, the guy who just killed a hundred million of my potential children got back on his bike and cycled away without a word. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 494

You deserved it 2 328

By Tequila - 20/06/2011 16:12 - Netherlands

Today, my bike abruptly stopped working, torpedoing me headfirst into the sidewalk. I lay there in agony for a few minutes, and the only guy who saw it happen said, "Lucky you didn't get hurt!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 598

You deserved it 3 219

By dumbasdogshit - 11/08/2012 00:45 - Australia - Gold Coast

Today, I discovered that when a cyclist tears down the street, slaps you across the face as he passes, looks back laughing and flips you off, then crashes into a lamppost, he'll still blame you and threaten to sue, even after you rush over to check his injuries. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 810

You deserved it 2 554

Breaking the law (and bones)

By Carl - 18/09/2022 20:30

Today, I came out from the E.R. with an arm cast and stitches on my head, all because a cyclist ran me over on a pedestrian walkway and got away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 046

You deserved it 93

By Anonymous - 18/04/2013 21:02 - Bulgaria - Batanovci

Today, I was riding my bike home from the store. Wanting to impress some passers-by, I tried to do a trick on a sharp turn. I hit a pole with my balls. As I was lying on the ground in agony, a guy pulled over, took a picture, and took off laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 431

You deserved it 51 121

By Anonymous - 29/04/2016 17:59 - United States

Today, some guy on a bike kept taunting me about my weight while I was out jogging. He ended up hitting a street lamp and fell off his bike. I had a real good laugh at him for all of 5 seconds before he got mad and really made me run. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 155

You deserved it 2 260

By ramble ramble - 30/01/2014 20:55 - United States - Monroe

Today, I was taking a leisurely stroll through the woods in the nice cool weather, when a mountain biker came out of nowhere and tore past, barely missing me. As I counted my luck, another biker followed the first and crashed right into me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 802

You deserved it 4 430

BIKES

By ihpgolj - 18/06/2009 05:31 - United States

Today, I was riding my bike down a road I know is quite hazardous. Having almost been hit in the same spot the day before, I rode across the intersection very satisfied without having been injured. Until I crashed into the guy front of me and flipped over my handlebars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 884

You deserved it 43 990

Sorry!

By My hip hurts - 23/01/2023 01:00

Today, I got hit by a car while going out for a jog. As I writhed on the floor in pain, I heard the driver say, “Sorry!” and the sound of tires squealing. He’d sped off. I didn’t get a chance to get his license plate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 003

You deserved it 112

ilytyvm 25

Sunday 5 April 2015 5:57

I have to admit, that was kind of a good one... Sorry for the incident, though. That does suck.

tournamentdecide 33

Sunday 5 April 2015 5:57

That guy sounds like someone who would comment on here.

Comments

Delsanity 13

Sunday 5 April 2015 16:05

Damn those cyclist and their koffing and muk

mld4657 28

Sunday 5 April 2015 16:23

sounds like a douche canoe

munchkinikki 1

Sunday 5 April 2015 17:11

Sounds like he's done this before if he wasn't shocked and got up that quick

Tournesol143 28

Sunday 5 April 2015 17:22

Sorry OP! I feel your pain. Getting hit by a cyclist is not a joke. I live in NYC and get this all the time. I will be running along the Hudson river path - all the way to the side - and still cyclists will come roaring by and either nick my left shoulder or come pretty close. Ironically, on more than one occasion, I have then passed the same cyclist who has gotten off his (yes, it is invariably a male) several thousand dollar bike - clad in all their spandex glory - and is walking up the hill as I run by them. Note: these are the same cyclists - in this city anyway - that will scream like stuck pigs when they are going down the middle of the street and get into a dust up with cars. Before you downclick me know this: several pedestrians have been killed by cyclists going at excessive speeds who run into them as they've tried to do things like simply crossing the street. Don't believe me? Google Jill Tarlov, for one.

Vitotaylor36 13

Sunday 5 April 2015 20:24

And they wonder why they are always getting hit by cars.

marcusbjohnson 4

Sunday 5 April 2015 22:51

out of nowhere? no. pay attention and take responsibility for yourself. your parents must cry themselves to sleep nightly underneath their dining room table beacuse of you.