Sex, Jealousy Intimacy Jump on me, I beg you

Jump on me, I beg you

RachelVanLannen9 - 12/07/2010 01:35 - United States

Today, my boyfriend bought a pogo stick. Now he rides it more than he rides me. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Sweet sensation

Katrina641 - 26/02/2010 04:20 - France

Today, I realized that I get more turned on by my exercise bike than my boyfriend of 4 years. FML

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Magicfml - 05/02/2017 20:00 - United States - Toledo

Today, I learned that my boyfriend is a better pole dancer than I am, despite daily practice. This was his first time trying it. FML

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missingcharlie - 17/08/2009 02:45 - United States

Today, in the middle of having sex with my boyfriend, instead of saying something sexy, he decided to tell me that the bowling alley had a new air hockey table. FML

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lonelygal69 - 19/08/2015 05:54 - United States - Stafford

Today, my husband decided he'd rather jerk off to the Wii Fit trainer than have sex with me. FML

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Elise - 28/04/2012 23:36 - United States

Today, my boyfriend figured out that he can bounce small things off of my boobs, and has been doing it every time I look away. FML

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Experiment!

anal-retentive - 23/06/2016 20:00 - United States

Today, in an attempt to spice things up a bit, my boyfriend and I discovered he takes it in the butt better than I do. FML

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Practical

Abused - 13/10/2010 08:36 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend used my love handles as ACTUAL love handles. FML

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asdfghjkl_12 - 25/02/2009 04:33 - United States

Today, I found out that my boyfriend owns and wears more thongs than I do. FML

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Carry that weight

Sally - 16/02/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, I tried to surprise my boyfriend by jumping on his back for a piggyback ride. He wasn’t expecting it. We both ended up on the floor, and I owe him a new pair of glasses. FML

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Lisa - 18/07/2014 20:21 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, my boyfriend wanted to take me out on a date. He doesn't have a car, but he said he'd borrow transport from his neighbor. He showed up at my house on a ride-on lawn mower. FML

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JordynnLOL 11

Monday 12 July 2010 9:04

surely a girl rides a guy? ..

beastlycass 0

Monday 12 July 2010 9:04

ouch that sucks. go buy a vibrator

leah12 0

Monday 12 July 2010 9:09

ps: 12--go back to kindergarden and learn how to count.

TomasT 0

Monday 12 July 2010 9:10

Of course, that is more fun...

loserboii 11

Monday 12 July 2010 9:10

I guess he has his own vertigo stick

kobebryant100 5

Monday 12 July 2010 9:12

14 you are beautiful.

FFML_314 11

Monday 12 July 2010 9:25

Thanks.

SKwrestler 0

Monday 12 July 2010 9:30

very..

FFML_314 11

Monday 12 July 2010 9:48

Lol, thanks.

morganavery33 5

Monday 12 July 2010 9:14

lol

fylkman 0

Monday 12 July 2010 9:15

suks 4 u and how wuld he ride u

kram02 2

Monday 12 July 2010 9:16

lol

beastlycass 0

Monday 12 July 2010 9:16

. - .

loserboii 11

Monday 12 July 2010 9:16

you want to take a ride on his disco stick?

AndreaHaha 0

Monday 12 July 2010 9:17

that sucks op

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I was up against two others in a 120m race on my school's sports day. Unexpectedly, I heard my name being chanted from most of the classes watching and well, this made me want to win so much that I leaned forward too much whilst running and ended up tripping and rolling on the track. I heard loud sighs after. FML

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Today, I'd just finished feeding my parrot and sweeping all the seeds under the cage. As I was walking away, my parrot whistled. I turned around to see him get up onto the food dish, pick up a clawful of food and toss it on the floor. FML

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Today, I've been so stressed out that I forgot my own birthday. I only remembered when my mom talked to me to let me know she wasn't planning on doing anything for it. FML

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Today, I was ecstatic my autistic son went on a play date. It went wonderfully and my son was happier than he’s ever been. Sadly, the dad was such a damn creep he hit on me every time the kids were out of earshot. I don’t want my son to lose his only friend but the dad makes me so uncomfortable. FML

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Today, after a solid month of hard work, I finally finished modeling and animating a 3D insect character for a scene. After presenting it to the rest of my team, one of my teammates pointed out that it looks exactly like a flying penis. FML

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Today, it's my birthday. I spent the day doing nothing but chores, amongst which baking my own birthday cake. I was then so exhausted that I couldn't even stand my own company, so I ate the cake alone on the couch, watching TV. It didn’t taste great. FML

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