Sex, Jealousy Intimacy Jump on me, I beg you

Jump on me, I beg you

RachelVanLannen9 - 12/07/2010 01:35 - United States

Today, my boyfriend bought a pogo stick. Now he rides it more than he rides me. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Sweet sensation

Katrina641 - 26/02/2010 04:20 - France

Today, I realized that I get more turned on by my exercise bike than my boyfriend of 4 years. FML

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Magicfml - 05/02/2017 20:00 - United States - Toledo

Today, I learned that my boyfriend is a better pole dancer than I am, despite daily practice. This was his first time trying it. FML

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missingcharlie - 17/08/2009 02:45 - United States

Today, in the middle of having sex with my boyfriend, instead of saying something sexy, he decided to tell me that the bowling alley had a new air hockey table. FML

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lonelygal69 - 19/08/2015 05:54 - United States - Stafford

Today, my husband decided he'd rather jerk off to the Wii Fit trainer than have sex with me. FML

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Elise - 28/04/2012 23:36 - United States

Today, my boyfriend figured out that he can bounce small things off of my boobs, and has been doing it every time I look away. FML

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Experiment!

anal-retentive - 23/06/2016 20:00 - United States

Today, in an attempt to spice things up a bit, my boyfriend and I discovered he takes it in the butt better than I do. FML

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Practical

Abused - 13/10/2010 08:36 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend used my love handles as ACTUAL love handles. FML

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asdfghjkl_12 - 25/02/2009 04:33 - United States

Today, I found out that my boyfriend owns and wears more thongs than I do. FML

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Carry that weight

Sally - 16/02/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, I tried to surprise my boyfriend by jumping on his back for a piggyback ride. He wasn’t expecting it. We both ended up on the floor, and I owe him a new pair of glasses. FML

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Lisa - 18/07/2014 20:21 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, my boyfriend wanted to take me out on a date. He doesn't have a car, but he said he'd borrow transport from his neighbor. He showed up at my house on a ride-on lawn mower. FML

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JordynnLOL 11

Monday 12 July 2010 9:04

surely a girl rides a guy? ..

beastlycass 0

Monday 12 July 2010 9:04

ouch that sucks. go buy a vibrator

derrek730 2

Monday 12 July 2010 17:29

I thought the girl rode the guy

xsu418x 0

Monday 12 July 2010 17:45

pogo sticks are the shit

radmuffin 12

Monday 12 July 2010 17:58

Um by ******* her. It's a common phrase. When a girls on top, they say she's riding, same thing for guy on top or doggie style.

1221jamw 11

Monday 12 July 2010 18:04

1st

kEnNy172 0

Monday 12 July 2010 18:05

Burning_Star_IV 3

Monday 12 July 2010 18:07

Show him how good of a pogo stick you can be

xVinceanator 0

Monday 12 July 2010 18:25

DAN7IEL 2

Monday 12 July 2010 18:36

ur boyfriends gay get a new one

donicus 0

Monday 12 July 2010 18:46

pogo stick ftw

R3dN3ck1995 0

Monday 12 July 2010 19:38

pmg it's two guys duh if u people had a ******* brain you'd would of figer it out .. he's (gay)

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Love Coworkers Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years because I was tired of his childishness and anger, so he decided to send me 540 random text messages of scrambled letters in order to mess up my phone as well, as make me pay 20 cents for each message. FML

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Today, I played Taboo with my boyfriend and my conservative family. It was my boyfriend's turn and his word was "cherry". His only clue to me was, "I popped your..." He was the only one who found it funny. FML

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Today, at work, the prizes were given to the employee of the month. They come in to surprise the winner and give prizes. They come over to my cubicle and cover me with silly string. Jokingly, I said: "Do you guys have the wrong cubicle? " They did. The guy in the next cubicle won. FML

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Today, my 5-year-old son woke up early and ran into my bedroom to wake me up. Unfortunately, he did this by jumping onto my bed, slamming his knee into my balls in the process. I had to explain my tears of agony away by claiming I was just so happy to see him. FML

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Today, I broke my own no contact rule with my ex, begging him to come back. He simply replied, "Stop begging. It's over." FML

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Today, my boyfriend and I were using our Skype accounts for the first time. He went to the restroom and I thought that I'd surprise him with my clothes off for when he came back. I heard him walk back into the room so I got into position. It wasn't him. It was his mom. FML

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