Health It puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again...

It puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again...

Anonymous - 14/06/2018 20:30

Today, after showering and moisturising, I turned my fan on to max blast. I got covered in clumps of dust, which I had to take another shower to remove. FML

2 878

1 035

Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Carmen - 26/02/2011 13:57 - United States

Today, I painted an area I had carefully sanded, cleaned, and taped off. I pulled a fan out of the closet to help dry it faster. I turned the fan on, and a million dust particles flew off onto the wet paint. FML

13 838

31 924

LXA429 - 12/03/2010 07:35 - United States

Today, I went to the tanning bed. I laid down in the bed and turned it on and the fan started blowing. There was a terrible smell and I thought it was the person before me. Then I realized it was just the fan blowing my sweaty feet towards my face. FML

6 883

32 440

Drying times

helplesssssss - - United States

Today, I took a shower in a beach house we're renting for the week. Once I get out, I realize the house doesn't supply towels, my entire family was outside in the front yard, my phone was upstairs, and there are no blinds. I stood under a ceiling fan naked for 20 minutes trying to dry off. FML

37 408

15 345

Anonymous - 17/05/2012 21:54 - United States - Spring

Today, after having a pretty rough day, I decided a nice, hot shower would be great. Ten minutes in, the shower head apparently couldn't take the water pressure anymore, and it flew off and hit me in the face. FML

29 356

2 193

Anonymous - 11/07/2014 17:45 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I decided to bring down a very old fan from the attic. I plugged it in, and as soon as I turned it on, tiny spiders were blown all over my room. FML

50 687

18 327

Bad start to the day

Concussed - - Australia

Today, as I showered, I sneezed, hit my face on the wall, got shampoo in my eyes, slipped on a bar of soap, bashed my head on the wall as I fell, grabbed at the walls to stop me from falling and happened to turn off the cold water, scorching me. FML

53 064

6 141

BO Central

jess - 16/12/2020 06:02 - United States - Denver

Today, I was loudly asked if I'd rubbed poop all over myself this morning. I shower three times a day, brush my teeth for 10 minutes twice a day, and wear copious amounts of antiperspirant. FML

1 695

1 728

Slicy slicy

Anonymous - - Australia

Today, I was getting ready for a date, so to avoid stinky pits, I went to put some deodorant on. However, when I raised my arm to apply it, I almost sliced my hand off when I raised it right into the ceiling fan. FML

1 644

985

lateralligator - 12/12/2014 16:35 - Canada - Whitchurch-stouffville

Today, I took out my old hairdryer and turned it on. I then gave my roommate a show as I ran out of the bathroom, naked and screaming, after a spider was blasted out of the hairdryer and directly at my face. FML

36 011

4 613

Snow day

Chyna girl - 19/09/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, I pulled my clothes out of the dryer and realized I had washed an entire pack of tissues with them. Every single piece of clothing was covered in what looked like tiny snowflakes. I now look like I’ve been rolling around in dandruff. FML

302

160

TyrionLannister 17

Thursday 14 June 2018 20:33

Interesting technique.

openawhole00 6

Friday 15 June 2018 2:53

and to think, somebody is stealing a 2 month olds piggy bank to get the spa treatment you got for free

TyrionLannister 17

Thursday 14 June 2018 20:33

Interesting technique.

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 14 June 2018 21:27

Sounds like the shit hit the fan ... and then you.

Glowworm56 26

Thursday 14 June 2018 21:30

Ooh, you had a dust bath afterwards. I heard those are marvelous if you're a chinchilla.

Glowworm56 26

Thursday 14 June 2018 21:30

Ooh, you had a dust bath afterwards. I heard those are marvelous if you're a chinchilla.

bluhbluhbluh 14

Thursday 14 June 2018 21:49

Instant mud mask? love it.

PenguinPal3017 19

Friday 15 June 2018 2:30

Shower, moisturize, repeat.

openawhole00 6

Friday 15 June 2018 2:53

and to think, somebody is stealing a 2 month olds piggy bank to get the spa treatment you got for free

weeping_willow 25

Friday 15 June 2018 5:22

At least you didn’t sit down in urine!

Lobby_Bee 17

Friday 15 June 2018 6:01

Those help exfoliate your body.

Davros 12

Friday 15 June 2018 7:43

Sounds like you need to scrub more than just your ass

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I realized that not only did my parents not get me anything for Christmas, they also stole the $500 my grandparents gave me to buy a computer. FML

44 129

2 861

Today, I'm so broke that I hand-washed my socks with a bar of soap that I stole from work. FML

30 450

3 112

Today, I asked a customer for a number we could call her at to let her know when we'd finished fixing her PC. I'm so desperately lonely that when she wrote it down for me, I got a raging boner. FML

18 495

5 541

Today, we got a dog. My husband was adamant that we should name him Gonit, so I agreed. A friend asked what the name meant, and my husband said, "Why wouldn't you name a dog Gonit?" Then I got it. FML

282

154

Today, my boyfriend bought a bikini he wanted me to wear in our hot tub. Unfortunately, I ran out of swimsuits for my daily swim at the public pool, so I took the new bikini. Now I know why he wanted to be alone when I wore it, as water turns it see-through and melts the stitching so it falls off. FML

1 791

522

Today, after weeks of begging my boyfriend of almost two years to have sex with me, he told me to find someone else to fuck. FML

1 652

310