Dogs Animals It hurts when I pee

It hurts when I pee

yomamma787 - 24/11/2009 17:11 - United States

Today, I was outside, peeing on a cactus. Then all of a sudden my dog jumped on my back, knocking me into the cactus. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Anonymous - 31/08/2014 17:51 - United States

Today, I was hiking down a steep hill, and I slipped. I instinctively grabbed the nearest object to me: a very prickly cactus. FML

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Shout the victory

dogpatch087 - 02/01/2020 03:00 - United States - Ventura

Today, while climbing a mountain, I got to the top and then put both of my arms up in a victory kind of way only to trip on a rock and fall into a cactus plant. FML

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Anon - 24/03/2012 02:42 - United States

Today, while hiking and wearing sandals, I stubbed my toe. This wouldn't have been so bad had it not been into a cactus with 3 inch thorns. FML

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thanksdad - 16/03/2014 19:28 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, I found out what it feels like to be slapped in the face with a potted cactus. FML

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Username - 15/07/2011 19:51 - United States

Today, the plant on my windowsill fell and landed in my face while I was napping. It's a cactus. FML

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Anonymous - 29/02/2012 16:52 - United States

Today, I rescued a cactus from a lethal fall. It thanked me with a handful of spines. FML

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mraow123 - 30/05/2009 05:04 - United States

Today, I was walking my dog but every time he looked like he was about to "go", he became uninterested with the spot and kept walking. I, following behind, tripped over a bump in the sidewalk and face planted. My dog then finally urinated, all over my aching body. FML

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Broderick - 26/03/2011 06:32 - United States

Today, I was hiking, and four miles away from my car and civilization, I tripped over a rock into a cactus. I used duct tape, which ripped all the hair off my arms and legs but ignored the spikes. FML

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Chandler - 16/09/2011 19:26 - United States

Today, in a desperate bid to avoid going to the doctor, my young son ran into and hid inside a cactus garden. I had to drag him out. FML

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Koko - 07/04/2016 16:07 - Germany - Berlin

Today, my dog was so happy to see me that he laid down on his back and started pissing like a fountain. He pissed on everything around him, including me. FML

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Brave_Sir_Robin 4

Tuesday 24 November 2009 20:04

What a prick.

Stumblebum30 5

Tuesday 24 November 2009 20:24

do you think the world is your toilet? dumb ass

NomNomMuffin 5

Thursday 11 August 2011 3:02

Why are you peeing on a Cactus in the first place? Wtf

spicywatermelon 0

Wednesday 7 September 2011 7:52

fav.

XxLeoNaYxX 0

Sunday 2 October 2011 10:30

Dont you have a toliet ? And why would you use a CACTUS ? Use grass if your desperate.

CrazyV 22

Friday 18 November 2011 16:28

lmfao you freaking idiot

CrazyV 22

Friday 18 November 2011 16:30

lmfao you freaking idiot

CabbageTrees 13

Friday 25 November 2011 1:22

Because peeing on a cactus is a logical thing to do!

Samigirl11 0

Tuesday 6 December 2011 18:59

omggg that must have really hurt... I'm sorry I feel really bad

rachilio 26

Friday 30 December 2011 22:45

Y were u peeing on a cactus?

DuckyDave 6

Sunday 1 January 2012 0:24

Y the f were u peeing on w cactus??

Ruskie 0

Saturday 7 January 2012 7:41

Needle to the }---dick--->

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I had to show my husband a video on how to brush your teeth. FML

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Today, I was wrapping up a 30+ hour commission when a software bug caused my main layer to delete itself. There doesn't appear to be any way I can restore it. FML

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Today, I had a customer propose to me. I work at Taco Bell. FML

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Today, despite years of therapy, I still can’t seem to shake the religious indoctrination I suffered through for 20 years. I’m a morally good person who is kind, caring, and upstanding, yet I still have horrific anxiety and depression thinking that I’m going to hell for leaving religion. Nothing helps. FML

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Today, I washed all the dishes and cups from the family dinner last night and put them away. When my wife saw, she had a mini OCD breakdown and yelled at me because the cups weren't lined up with each other with the handles aligned and the flower pictures facing out left. FML

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Today, unlike what you may have joked about with your friends, I actually did meet people who told me to "take a hit or we'll beat the shit out of you." I got picked up by my mom 20 minutes later like planned. When my mom noticed I was high, she grounded me for the "rest of high school." FML

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