Intimacy: Classy

Classy

By Username - 07/06/2011 06:51 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were making out when he sweetly whispered in my ear, "It's not gonna suck itself." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 012

You deserved it 13 048

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 07/04/2015 21:00 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend repeatedly whispering in my ear, "You want to give me a blowjob". Yes, he actually thought it would work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 058

You deserved it 4 690

Superfuzz Big Muff

By miiiiilk - 05/12/2010 11:12 - United States

Today, as my boyfriend was about to go down on me, he held his breath and said, "I'm going in!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 671

You deserved it 9 539

Wax on, wax off

By Bllllaaaaaah - 24/09/2019 04:01 - United States - Juno

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on. At one point, he started to kiss my ear. Then, he stopped, went into the bathroom, and came out with about four Q-tips. He then said to me, "Just take care of your ears, then I'll continue." FML

I agree, your life sucks 875

You deserved it 2 114

Narcissism

By during - 19/05/2010 12:12 - United States

Today, while me and my boyfriend were having sex, he moaned out his own name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 484

You deserved it 7 341

By dummy - 17/02/2012 00:03 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky in bed. He mumbled something that sounded like "I love you." I replied "I love you too baby", to which he laughed then said, "I said I wanted you to blow me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 754

You deserved it 5 672

By Anonymous - 29/06/2010 17:34 - Canada

Today, after going down on my boyfriend, we were cuddling and I went to kiss him. Just before I could reach his lips, he ran his finger over my mouth and whispered, "S-s-s-semen." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 749

You deserved it 25 788

By Anonymous - 14/03/2011 19:16 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 021

You deserved it 14 604

By katie - 25/05/2011 08:23

Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, and she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 012

You deserved it 19 188

By Sharibabi65 - 07/03/2012 06:16 - United States

Today, I told my fiancé I wanted to hear something romantic. He said, "My dick loves your mouth." I guess that's as good as it's going to get. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 483

You deserved it 6 857

Acting is hard work

By S. Dub - 10/04/2020 05:00

Today, my boyfriend told me that I needed to moan louder so that he knew I was enjoying it. Reluctantly, I put a little 'umph' into my moans during the next round. He pulled out and said, "It's just awkward now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 983

You deserved it 316

Fx13mz 7

Tuesday 7 June 2011 11:56

I'm stealing that line from him.

ambowew 7

Tuesday 7 June 2011 11:58

Time to point to his hand and say 'no, but you're gonna be shaking it yourself tonight.'

Comments

neoamaru_fml 8

Tuesday 7 June 2011 14:12

he's a Genius..there's a spot for him here in the bros club ;)

mismonroe 0

Tuesday 7 June 2011 14:13

lmao

mismonroe 0

Tuesday 7 June 2011 14:21

Virgin? Where did that come from? Did I miss something?

SpazzyJazzy325 0

Tuesday 7 June 2011 14:27

aha that's a man who knows what he wants right there ;)

mismonroe 0

Tuesday 7 June 2011 14:30

That's funny, I thought it was lick it before you stick it.

blo1983 0

Wednesday 8 June 2011 4:22

you have yahoo messenger?

Sophail 0

Tuesday 7 June 2011 14:31

hahahah best comment of love ever.

dookiedoo 0

Tuesday 7 June 2011 14:47

pussy

Osito2011 9

Tuesday 7 June 2011 14:53

straight to the point. awesome

MaryJane09 0

Tuesday 7 June 2011 14:59

Haha.... That sucks!

epyk_pryncess 8

Tuesday 7 June 2011 14:59

he's right. but I hear the dyson ball is an AMAZING vacuum... no?

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The Top

Today, I saw my boyfriend using a washcloth to clean his cock and sweaty balls. He told me he's been doing this for quite some time now. Guess who's been using the same washcloth to clean her face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 591

You deserved it 435

Today, I was sent home for refusing to sign a write up at my restaurant. A customer insisted that she doesn’t drink soda so she’d like a ginger ale. I calmly explained to her that ginger ale is in fact soda. She told management I was being condescending and rude, because she didn’t believe me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 527

You deserved it 299

Today, I lazily answered the door in my pajamas. It was my elderly neighbor asking to borrow a can opener. Despite the strange and unwarranted scowl she was giving me I obliged. It wasn't until after she had left that I notice my penis was completely sticking out through the flap in my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 978

You deserved it 21 624

Today, our dog became ill. My mom wasted no time attending her every needs and became very distressed. When I had appendicitis a few months ago, my mom told me to “sleep it off” and a friend had to take me to the hospital. She only called once to bitch at me for “doing this on purpose to make her feel bad.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 944

You deserved it 107

Today, I no longer have a toaster. My younger sister put it in the bath because apparently it looked dirty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 786

You deserved it 371

Today, I was belting out Beyoncé in the shower, really feeling myself. When I got out, I heard applause. My new neighbors were sitting on their balcony and I had my bedroom window open. They'd been unwilling members of my entire shower performance's audience, and the applause was definitely sarcastic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 159

You deserved it 414

Classy

Same thing different taste

Superfuzz Big Muff

Wax on, wax off

Narcissism

Acting is hard work

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