Intimacy, Embarrassing, Awkward Painful Ace Of Spades

Ace Of Spades

MetalisLife -

Today, I thought I died in the shower. I was very intensely playing air guitar while simultaneously headbanging. I punched myself in the dick. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Warmonger_Smurf 29

Wednesday 11 January 2017 10:36

Must have been one hell of a high note you hit.

lexiieeex3 32

Wednesday 11 January 2017 10:02

In the dick, m'ame?

xercister 19

Wednesday 11 January 2017 13:05

headshot for the loose....

ApocaClips 5

Wednesday 11 January 2017 13:17

I dont get why this was down voted

CrazyJolteon 0

Wednesday 11 January 2017 13:48

Change ur gender

Cynical_1 26

Wednesday 11 January 2017 16:12

Carrying on in the shower like that you're luck that's the only head that got smashed.

Talis99 26

Wednesday 11 January 2017 18:55

They're all being listed as female because FML is to glitches what hockey is to Canada.

acmariner99 25

Wednesday 11 January 2017 21:07

Stating the obvious... don't do that

PePziNL 20

Thursday 12 January 2017 0:52

You okay there buddy?

thelittlem 15

Thursday 12 January 2017 1:46

I seriously hope you're trolling.

Outwithharts 0

Thursday 12 January 2017 3:18

xhdjd

CrazyJolteon 0

Thursday 12 January 2017 3:44

This is girl who posted this

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I fell asleep with my new iPad on my chest, so when I woke up and pushed my duvet off me, the iPad went flying off me and broke on the floor. It’s my first ever iPad, my mom bought it for me for high school and I’ve only had it a week. FML

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Today, I slipped on a plastic bag that my mom, the hoarder, was keeping on the stairs. I fell and sprained my ankle, getting rug burn in the process. Her response? Getting mad at me, putting the bag back on the stairs, then getting another to add to the pile. FML

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Today, I got lunch with a girl I really like. On the way, for some idiotic reason I decided it would be a good idea to show off by jumping up to high-five the red hand on a traffic sign. I ended up slipping and slamming full-force into the pole. I now have a bruise on my face. FML

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Today, I had a date with this really cute guy. He invited me over to make dinner at his place. Eventually we end up in his bedroom to have sex. He pulls down my panties and says, "You need to shave that shit." FML

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Today, my boyfriend's bitch of a mother had surgery and now I'm expected to be her at-home nurse. I haven't been able to sit down for more than 5 minutes thanks to her and I've barely slept. FML

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Today, I started a sport journalism degree. I was the only woman out of 60 students. The lecturer started talking about how we should all aspire to become sports editors of national newspapers. Later, he said women have no chance of ever becoming sports editors. FML

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