Your everyday life stories

Anonymous - 07/06/2018 01:17

Today, I walked in on my husband, after ten years of marriage, cheating on me. With the family dog. FML

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Anonymous - 06/06/2018 20:36

Today, I have to drink three liters of laxatives for a medical examination tomorrow. It’s going to be a shitty night, FML

onlyonewithbrains - 06/06/2018 16:40

Today, my only sibling told me that she’s moving herself and my niece to the other side of the country with her cheating husband who’s about to welcome his second child, with my (ex) best friend. FML.

Mysterion549 - 06/06/2018 11:01

Today I was on a chatting app and I met a girl who seemed real nice & all and eventually I asked her for a face reveal then she said that I should send one first and that she’d return the favor but right after I sent it she blocked my ugly ass... FML

Livritz - 06/06/2018 09:07

Today, my boss yelled at me for joining my co-workers in congratulating a woman who won $1 million on a lottery ticket she checked in our store. FML

Anonymous - 06/06/2018 09:04

Today, my classmate just noticed I have Tomoko on my phone and asked me if I watch Watamote. I was like "Fuck yeah dude!" Then I realized I just publicly admitted to watching a show about a school girl masturbating all day. FML

Kisa - 06/06/2018 08:58

Today, I opened a cooler that held a decomposing fish in it for over a week in my apartment. That wouldn’t be so bad if I didn’t have an inspection tomorrow for the return of my deposit and the smell hasn’t gone away. FML

Anonymous - 06/06/2018 07:25

Today, I realize how shitty my life is. I'm stuck living with my ex-fiance till the lease is up, have a crappy job, and no life. My ex has an amazing job, a boyfriend AND a girlfriend, and amazing friends who she goes out with every other day. FML

Tycoon126 - 05/06/2018 18:59 - United States - Anchorage

Today, a verified famous person with 10,000 followers responded to one of my tweets... with an insult. His tweet has 100 likes, 50 responses, and when I made a tweet complaining about him, my account was shut down for harassment. FML

GURU - 06/06/2018 10:23 - Malaysia - Puchong

Today, after a long 10-hour shift, I headed back home. My wife is a full housewife who is not working, and suddenly she was sobbing, crying out loud and shouting, "YOU NEVER HELP ME WITH HOUSE WORK!!!!" I was washing dishes at that time. FML

Andie - 06/06/2018 02:47

Today, I came home from work and my spouse was tossing his bags in his car. He said he was leaving and he'd been unhappy for a long time and blamed not only me, but the house and the dog as well. I supported him through so many job changes I literally lost count. FML

Jizz rag Johnny - 05/06/2018 16:07 - United States - Yelm

Today I babysat my friends kids. Before she left for college her son dragged a shirt out from her room, being two and helpful. In a hurry she did not realize what the shirt was. It was not until it was thrown in my face did I realize it was her husbands jizz rag. FML

dragonstooth257 - 06/06/2018 00:17

Today, I received yet another "thanks, but no thanks" to my job applications. I'm graduating with my second degree at the end of the year and every grad position has turned me down. Even the cookie-selling one for Christmas. FML

Anonymous - 05/06/2018 22:33

Today, I've never seen it done before, but when my husband found out our daughter has her first crush he actually blew his coffee all over the living room carpet, cartoon style. It was hilarious for about 10 seconds until he started blustering about wringing the poor boy's neck. FML

JunkFoodForLife - 05/06/2018 21:05

Today, I decided to be healthy by adding fruits and vegetables to my diet... I am allergic to everything I just bought. FML

real life problems - 05/06/2018 07:44

Today, I took a girl on a date and everything was going great, until we stopped by her parents house to grab a few things. I ended up recreating the toilet scene from 'Dumb and Dumber.' Yep, still won't flush. FML

sawkem - 05/06/2018 04:37

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years told me he’d rather spend time with his friends than me and that I can go find someone else. Oh, and it’s after he proposed to me. FML

"T1A2Z3" - 04/06/2018 23:32

Today, my boss' idea of firing me was to suddenly stop giving me shifts, when questioned say he had no work for me at the moment. He then removed me from the staff whatsapp group... guess that means I'm out of a job? FML

JustHadSex - 04/06/2018 04:03

Today, I lost my virginity with my girlfriend. The moment we were done, before we could even start to cuddle, she immediately reached over, got her phone, and played "Just Had Sex" before constantly referring to me as "Virgin-no-more" for the rest of the day. FML.

oh no lil one - 03/06/2018 13:08 - United States

Today, I was sharing a Thai iced tea and Boba with my daughter. I noticed about halfway through that all the Boba was gone. She had been sucking the Boba up and spitting the tea back into the cup. FML

Sambalam28 - 03/06/2018 12:45 - United States - Jerseyville

Today, the pain in my back is so bad my doctor put me on morphine. It is also the day I found out it makes me have horrible headaches, upset stomach, and it doesn't even help my back pain. FML

Horizon - 03/06/2018 07:03

Today, I was pushing a cart to the backroom of the store that I work at. A lady was blocking the entire aisle and when I said "excuse me" to move through, she rooted herself to the floor and said that I'm the one who should get out of the way because I'm the employee and she was the customer. FML

Malkavio - 03/06/2018 04:01

Today, I got married to my girlfriend of the last several years. Today I also got diagnosed with a severe sinus infection. So long honeymoon. FML

"Kitten" - 02/06/2018 22:25

Today, someone reminded me how "cute" it was that this guy I used to be friends with told everyone he was in love with me. It was never cute to me. He even told my boyfriend, and had my friends tell him where I was 24/7 so he could "just happen" to show up. I had already rejected him before. FML

Anonymous - 02/06/2018 18:25

Today, I'm on a 2 week vacation with just me and my wife for our one year anniversary and one week in she tells me she wants to try a trial separation and see other people.... FML

- 02/06/2018 06:46

Today, after months of us telling our boss that the kitchen is understaffed and overworked, he might have finally got the message, but not before one of the cooks passed out, the EMS said it was due to stress and being overworked. Tomorrow is day 8 of 13 consecutive days. (10-12hr shifts)... FML.

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lonely-mind - 01/06/2018 21:35

Today, three people and I worked for hours on decorating the church for VBS. The director called today and told me that a last minute funeral has been scheduled without them even looking to see if we had decorated. They're taking everything down. FML

LMStanky - 01/06/2018 16:40 - United Kingdom - Liverpool

Today, Went to the cinema with my girlfriend and tried to be sweet by kissing her hand. It was dark though, and I just ended up sticking her thumb in my mouth.. FML

cperagui - 01/06/2018 08:43

Today, this guy friend told me he liked me. I don't date because it's not really my thing. He follows me around 24/7 and messages me when I'm not in his sight. Everyone thinks it's cute... I've resorted to hiding in the bathroom because he can't get the hint. FML

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"PeterB444" - 01/06/2018 01:24 - United States - Levittown

Today is 1 month after starting my journey in the gym. While trying to create before and after pictures I managed to delete all the photos on my phone including precious vacation and family photos. It's been two hours and I still haven't been able to get them back, FML

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Love Coworkers Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Jealousy Underwear Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, feeling so depressed to the point of having suicidal thoughts, I texted a girl I had a crush on. Her response? "Can you please delete my number, you're getting annoying." FML

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Today, I was showing my step-dad old photos of the family. We got to a picture of me and I mentioned how much weight I've lost. He muttered, "Heh, fat AND blind". FML

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Today, I took my daughter to the zoo. I threw a piece of my sandwich towards a very cute chimpanzee. As a thank you, he threw a piece of crap at me, which exploded all over my shirt. FML

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Today, my mom, who is relatively new to Facebook, posted on her friend's wall, telling her about her recent diagnosis of vaginal thrush. She assumed that her wall post was private. Six of my friends liked the post. FML

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Today, I was told by a doctor in no uncertain terms that, with all of my mental and physical health conditions and personality disorders, there is, "absolutely no way I can possibly live a normal life, unless a miracle occurs." Well, I guess I'll just go fuck myself, then. FML

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Today, I was at my friend's house, and I asked if I could try on one of her dresses. It was a little snug, but I got it on. When it came time to take it off though, it wouldn't budge. My friend and her mom had to cut it off me. FML

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