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    : 320



    Practicality

    Nicole C - 25/02/2025 09:00 - United States

    Today, my long-distance boyfriend of 2 years left me for another girl he’s known for 3 months, just because she’s closer. Never mind that I was the one who remained faithful to him for 2 long years, got him through the deaths of his parents, gave him money when he fell on hard times, among other things. FML
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    Praise the Lord

    Anonymous - 11/05/2025 05:00 - United States

    Today, at 7am on a Saturday, my next door neighbor set up a preacher guy with a mic and large speaker. It's 2pm, and I can still hear him screaming about Jesus through my foam insulated walls and $300 noise canceling headphones. I can't sleep, and I'm injured so I can't leave home. That's my Shabbat ruined! FML
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    There must be more to this story

    Anonymous - 28/09/2025 15:00

    Today, I found out that if you’re on a date with a woman who seems interested in you and you’re both getting on really well, it won’t stop her calling you a fucking nerd and pouring her drink over you for admitting you watch anime and read a lot of books, and she will still leave you with the bill. FML
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    In these times

    Anonymous - 01/08/2025 03:00 - United States

    Today, after my ex left me to be number 5 or 6 to some dude, she’s now going to jail for whatever bullshit they got her into. She calls them family, and she expects me to still take my kids to visit those creepy ass polyamorous freaks she’s had them living around. No fucking way! FML
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    Thanks but no thanks

    Anonymous - 06/10/2025 09:00

    Today, a woman grabbed my arm and told me she wanted to ride me like a stallion then suck me clean afterwards. It would have been tempting were she not my 90 year-old Alzheimer’s-riddled nana, who raised me on her own and took me to church twice a week. FML
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    Right place…

    Not Her, sorry - 03/05/2025 09:00 - United States

    Today, I was walking through my local park when I noticed a guy getting down on one knee with a ring box in hand. As I got closer, he looked at me, got a horrified expression on his face, and shouted, “Oh no, wrong woman!” He then awkwardly stood up, put the ring back in his pocket, and scuttled away. That's probably the closest I'll ever get to a proposal. FML
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    Daily struggle

    Anonyme - 21/05/2025 02:00 - United States

    Today, I'm pulling myself up by my bootstraps again. I have Ehlers-Danlos syndromes and don't metabolize protein properly, which led to a massive protein deficiency after losing 6lb in a week from a medical emergency. I just did two rounds of physical therapy a year ago and lost all of the muscle. I'm tired. FML
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    Dinner is on me

    I have no words - 24/08/2025 02:00 - United States

    Today, after a long and exhausting day at work, I had no energy to do much of anything, so with that in mind, I got Arby's on the way home. When I did get home and was trying to carry the bag inside, it ripped open and spilled my food all over the driveway. FML
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    Cool down

    Bruises - 18/05/2025 14:00 - United States - Edison

    Today, my boyfriend picked me up during sex and set me on his shoulders, with his face buried in my pussy. I loved it until he took a step and put my face right in the path of the ceiling fan. FML
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    Rememberance Day special

    Crappy circumstances - 11/11/2025 12:00

    Today, I had to shit worse than I thought possible at work. I left my desk and hurried towards the bathroom, dropping trou as soon as the door closed. I then tripped over my pant leg, hit my head on the toilet, and came to some minutes later with my ass spewing diarrhea like a volcano. FML
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    Rough week

    Dee-Nice - 17/05/2025 03:00 - United States - Phoenix

    Today, after I'd given myself a week off work for my birthday, and my alcoholic sister decided she needed to go to rehab, which then hijacked the whole week for her crisis, at 4:30 am, the morning I'm supposed to return to work, I end up in the ER with a first time kidney stone. The next thing I know, she's in the ER for an injury. FML
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    None of my business

    Anonymous - 31/01/2025 19:00

    Today, we witnessed a car hit a cyclist. My husband didn’t stop walking, even when I told him we should help. He said, “Why? Do we know him?” He then refused to help because getting involved and doing something wrong would risk us being sued instead of the driver. FML
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    Wedding bells

    Sad sad bride - 16/07/2025 00:00 - United States

    Today, my boyfriend of several years told me the only way he’d ever consider getting married was if we had no wedding, just signing the paper at the courthouse with no ceremony or guests whatsoever, and as long as we don’t tell anyone about it. He doesn’t get why I’m devastated. FML
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    Same old, same old

    Anonymous - 19/02/2025 05:00 - United States

    Today, it was our 19 year wedding anniversary. When I mentioned this to my husband, all he did was grunt at me and never brought it up again for the rest of the day. I didn't get anything. No flowers, no card, no dinner, nothing. Oh, and I also had to work. FML
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    Meritocracy, huh?

    Anonymous - 21/03/2025 19:00 - Singapore - Singapore

    Today, as a teacher, I saw a younger boy kick an older boy in the crotch and I reported it in our online system. Despite typical consequences for violence (automatic suspension), the department head, a drinking buddy of the boy's parents, gave him only a single detention. Now, the department head is harassing me for reporting the incident. FML
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    Gotcha

    Anonymous - 14/05/2025 13:00 - United States

    Today, my leasing office called to inform me that we will be receiving an eviction notice. After further communication into why, I found out that I’m not being evicted, but my girlfriend of six years is, because she got caught doing the dirty with someone in the apartment gym restroom. FML
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    Long haul

    Anonymous - 03/06/2025 17:00 - United States

    Today, I’ve had an irregular period my whole life. I was on birth control and took out my IUD in January. I’ve had my period ever since. It’s going on 5 months now. FML
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    Get on with it

    Luk - 01/07/2025 05:00 - Japan - Tokyo

    Today, my wife gave me hell for not returning an Amazon package to Whole Foods on my day off. The closest Whole Foods is twenty minutes away, right by my work. Why should I waste an hour of my day off when I can do it after work tomorrow? FML
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    Happy anniversary?

    Anonymous - 14/02/2025 02:00 - United States - Carpentersville

    Today, it was my one-year anniversary with my girlfriend, but instead of celebrating, we had to attend a family funeral with a bunch of people who "don't agree with our lifestyle." To make matters worse, I received my first ticket on the way there. FML
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    The golden child

    Anonymous - 27/08/2025 02:00 - United Kingdom

    Today, I had to use my mum's laptop so she told me the password was just my sister's name. I hit a wrong key and misspelled it, so the incorrect password prompt came on screen. The prompt was: "Favourite child?" FML
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    Too soon

    Emilie B - 20/01/2026 12:00

    Today, my mother-in-law in all seriousness told my daughter to not wear shorts and skirts because “men will ogle and rape her.” When I confronted her about it, she told me, “I’m only looking out for her. Is that so wrong?” She’s 9 and she won’t stop asking what “rape” means. FML
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    Coulrophobia

    Anonymous - 02/07/2025 02:00 - United Kingdom

    Today, after I recently took our kids to a fair and they both turned out to be scared of clowns, and because the fair was my idea, my wife has told me there will be no sex at all until the kids stop having clown-themed nightmares every night. Two weeks so far and god only knows how long still to go. FML
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    His little secret

    Kayla - 06/03/2025 09:00 - United States

    Today, my boyfriend of over a year still refuses to acknowledge our relationship on social media because he “wants to keep things private.” He posts about his dogs, his car, gym selfies, his beer outings with the boys, even his favorite team scores, but when it comes to me, suddenly it’s “I want to keep it private.” FML
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    Clean living

    Anonymous - 23/02/2025 01:00 - Australia

    Today, I wasn’t hungover at work for a change, after quitting heavy drinking of 10+ years. My boss accused me of being “high as a kite on drugs”, because I was “suspiciously chirpy.” FML
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    YOU MUST CONFORM

    Brandnew102 - 30/06/2025 03:00 - United States

    Today, I realized that being 60 pounds lighter has made every guy that crossed my path worship the ground I walk on. When I had the weight, guys would flinch at me, or not give me the time of day. I just want to be treated as a human being, no matter what size I am. FML
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    Never enough, never

    Anonymous - 06/03/2025 09:00 - United States - Newark

    Today, I got promoted at work and was excited to tell my mom. When I called her, she immediately asked, “What does this mean for my retirement fund?” and then asked how much I was going to be making. I told her, and she responded, “Oh. That’s nice, but when are you getting a real job?” FML
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    Never enough, never

    Anonymous - 02/04/2025 08:00 - United Kingdom

    Today, after I took my mom her favourite wine, a card, and an expensive orchid for her conservatory, and also spent all Saturday afternoon with her and took her out for lunch, what did she post on Facebook? Her disappointment that I didn’t spend Mother’s Day with her on Sunday because I was working. FML
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    Classic bro moment

    Basic respect desired - 31/01/2025 20:00 - United States

    Today, my boyfriend and his friend were talking politics when my boyfriend referred to several female politicians as "yappy feminist scolds." They both laughed like oafs. I couldn't kick them both out fast enough. FML
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    That chapter…

    Torn AF - 08/03/2025 14:00 - United States

    Today, my new husband told me his ex is 10 weeks pregnant from having “chapter closing sex” before getting married. He said he wasn’t expecting this to happen because he had used a condom. He always told me he fervently hated his ex. Our honeymoon and wedding last week was over $50,000, which is nonrefundable. FML
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    Priorities

    Anonymous - 10/04/2025 03:00 - United States

    Today, when she found out my mother died, my ever empathetic wife said, “Tell them not to have the funeral on Friday. I have a hair appointment.” FML
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    Today, I found out that my childhood vacation home was on sale for 149K. We sold it for 99K 9 months ago. FML
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    Today, some girls followed me into the girls room at school. Once I got into the stall, one snuck up on me from the next stall over and grabbed my arms. The others grabbed and took my pants and panties, which were around my ankles. They ran off and left me in there for hours, bottomless. I never got my clothes back. FML
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    Today, I was trying to put some new curtains up. I couldn't make sense of the instructions, so I decided to wing it. I spent a frustrating half hour fighting with it, and just seconds after I succeeded, the curtain rod gave way and slammed straight onto my head. FML
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    Today, I rescheduled my doctor's appointment for a tetanus shot to go camping with my friends. While running on a path at the camp site, I stepped on a rusty nail that went right through my shoe and into my foot. Maybe I should have kept my appointment. FML
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    Today, I drunkenly gave my date road head while he was driving me home. He must have gotten what he wanted, because that was a week ago and he’s totally ghosted me since. I’ve never felt this cheap and nasty and humiliated in my life. FML
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    Today, I caught my fiancé picking his nose and eating it. I don’t want to break up over this but I just cannot for the life of me get that image out of my head. Every time he tries to kiss me, I visibly gag and turn my head away. He says I’m being unreasonable. FML
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