App

FMyLife

search






FMyLife FMyLife
search
​



    : 320



    Some girls are bigger than others

    Anonymous - 04/09/2025 15:00 - United States

    Today, my girlfriend is pissed at me and crying that I bodyshamed her. She wants to do that cutesy shit of wearing my clothes and hoodies but she outweighs me by more than 50lbs. I’ve offered to buy her hoodies and spray my cologne on them for her, but I guess that’s not good enough. FML
    540
    124
      

    It's the big T

    Annoyed - 28/03/2025 15:00 - United States

    Today, I left my apartment building to drive to work. I walked up to my car when I noticed someone had written "FUCK ELON" on the hood. I guess some protesters can't spell, which explains how they'd confused "Toyota" for "Tesla." FML
    539
    75
      

    I'm an empath

    Anonymous - 18/02/2025 15:00 - Belgium - Kasterlee

    Today, after opening up to my husband about my mental struggles after a difficult birth, I shed a few tears. He left me there to go take a nap. FML
    538
    106
      

    Seriously?

    Anonymous - 06/06/2025 02:00

    Today, my husband got home on my birthday and told me he went overboard and bought a real expensive gift for his favourite girl. He then turned round and gave the real expensive gift to the girl in question, his 3 year-old niece. It’s not even her birthday. I got fuck all. FML
    538
    116
      

    Making whoopee

    Broken trust - 19/09/2025 20:00

    Today, after years of my wife having almost no sex drive, and always insisting on using protection, she suddenly craves unprotected sex like an alcoholic craves booze. I went through her phone and learned why. Yup, she's pregnant, cheated on me since day one, and her scummy side dick skipped town. FML
    537
    98
      

    Won't someone think of the landlords?

    Broke - 27/12/2025 12:00

    Today, it's been months since I inherited a nice house, only to discover it overrun with squatters. I had to legally evict them, costing thousands. When they were ordered to vacate, they set the house on fire. Now I have a blackened ruin and depleted savings. FML
    537
    68
      

    Preapproved

    Anonymous - 08/04/2025 03:00 - United States - Fresno

    Today, after saving for years, I was finally ready to buy a home. I found a decent place. I put in an offer. A hedge fund bought it 7 minutes later, for cash. FML
    537
    77
      

    Squeamish

    Anonymous - 27/05/2025 19:00

    Today, and ever since I gave birth, my husband hasn’t wanted to touch me because according to him, he "saw it all coming out down there, blood and mucus and stuff. They had to sew back together" and he can’t handle "putting his penis back in there." The birth was six months ago, I'm back to normal now. FML
    536
    100
      

    Thanks, I hate it

    Not funny mom! - 18/07/2025 15:00 - United States

    Today, I couldn’t figure out why I was getting so much spam in my professional email. My own mother thought it would be a hilarious “prank” to sign me up for a ton of random mailing lists. I missed an amazing job opportunity due to her bullshit. FML
    536
    89
      

    Bitch better have my money

    Anonymous - 30/05/2025 08:00

    Today, a customer has been tanking my business online, claiming I’m a fraud and stole her money. She ordered a painted copy of one of her wedding photos and was mad she couldn’t pick it up that same afternoon. Do you have any idea how long portraits take to paint? Longer than two hours I can tell you. FML
    534
    58
      

    Stolen valor

    ImpsonFamily - 26/03/2025 08:00 - Australia

    Today, a manager was credited for coming up with a safety idea. This is the same idea I brought up weeks prior and was told it was silly by said manager. FML
    533
    72
      

    Hangry boy gotta have it

    Anonymous - 17/05/2025 02:00 - United Kingdom

    Today, my idiot husband broke his jaw and had to have it wired shut. I just caught him trying to fix it in his shed because he cut the wire with bolt cutters so he could, of all things, eat a steak before it went bad, then tried to close his jaw again with fishing line. FML
    532
    82
      

    What would you do?

    Lisania - 11/01/2026 03:00

    Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. I'd trusted that he and his ex were “co-parenting” a dog that he and his ex adopted while they were together and nothing more was happening. His ex is pregnant and he’s the father. He insists that he doesn’t love her anymore and it was a “mistake.” He wants me to take him back. FML
    532
    104
      

    Cooked

    Lonely - 07/09/2025 20:00 - Netherlands - Amsterdam

    Today, desperate for some affection from my cold, frigid wife, I lied and said we had an attractive new girl joining our department. Without looking up, she said, "You guys can fuck, I don't care, just be discreet." Stick a fork in this marriage, it's done. FML
    531
    95
      

    Conflicting emotions

    Anonymous - 22/04/2025 14:00 - United Kingdom

    Today, I fell down some stairs and broke my ankle. At the hospital, a nurse asked how far along I was and boom, one ultrasound later, I’m actually pregnant. I had to then convince multiple doctors that I did not in fact throw myself down the stairs trying to cause miscarriage before they’d let me go home. FML
    531
    89
      

    Fatigue

    - 29/10/2025 09:00

    Today, I’m tired of being blamed that my kids don’t want anything to do with their dad. He somehow forgot that they saw him cheat on me while I was in the hospital, got another woman pregnant while we were still married, and put her kids above them. He made his bed, so why am I the bad guy? FML
    530
    65
      

    Imperial death march

    Fuck you dad - 05/01/2026 09:00

    Today, my "president" invaded another country and stole their president to face bullshit "charges." I'm so disgusted to be from this place. I want to move somewhere else but I'm disabled. FML
    530
    401
      

    Middle ground

    Anonymous - 05/03/2025 09:00 - United States - Cincinnati

    Today, after my wife and mother in law criticized me for being glued to my phone, I set out to prove them wrong by being away from it. When I finally opened it, my family was upset because my grandma died and they had been trying to reach me for several hours. FML
    530
    118
      

    Choices

    mybodyhatesme - 23/06/2025 17:00 - United States - Clive

    Today, I started chemo. My immune system is so bad, it keeps attacking organs throughout my body. I just got a job I love that pays well and has insurance for once, but I’m not sure I can keep working to pay for it, due to chemo side-effects and risky conditions of the job. FML
    529
    76
      

    Let's not do this again someday

    Crushed - 17/04/2025 09:00 - United States

    Today, I went on what I thought was a solo outing with my longtime crush. He decided to invite a friend along. I had to pick her up half an hour away from town, he treated her to the movie we were watching while I had to pay for myself, he fingered her in the theatre, and made out with her on the drive home. FML
    529
    142
      

    Bad dude

    Anonymous - 01/05/2025 16:00 - Canada - Ottawa

    Today, I found out that my ex (he's 35) tried soliciting sex from one of my friend's daughters (she's 22) and a few other friends as well. To make it all worse, I just found out this fuckboy has herpes, and contracted it while cheating on me. FML
    528
    129
      

    I've changed my mind

    Fatima - 27/01/2025 21:00 - United States

    Today, I invited a guy I'd met online once to a concert of an artist we both like. His response was, “Well, it depends. Do you weigh less than when I first met you?” FML
    527
    153
      

    Sneaky

    Blindsided - 22/04/2025 18:00 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

    Today, I found out my boyfriend of two years is cheating on me. A friend had brought this to my attention. She was under the impression that we broke up because she’d seen stories of him and another woman. I found out he changed his story settings to hide the specific posts with that other woman from me only. FML
    527
    70
      

    Petty BS

    Anonymous - 05/06/2025 11:00 - United Kingdom

    Today, a coworker told me that another coworker only treats me badly because I never asked her out. We’ve worked together for 3 years, if she wanted a date why didn’t she just ask me out instead? All she did was ruin her chances; she’s been so mean to me, I’d never ask her out now. What petty BS. FML
    526
    88
      

    Mismanagement

    Anonymous - 28/01/2025 05:00 - Philippines - Taytay

    Today, I got written up at work for a mistake I did not even do, and that I even helped solve. FML
    526
    78
      

    How could you be so heartless?

    Bruh - 11/08/2025 08:00 - Mexico - Mexico City

    Today, my mother and my sister chewed me out for not attending my sister's birthday party. I'm sorry for having both of my fucking legs broken in a motorcycle accident. FML
    525
    63
      

    Weird and gross

    Anonymous - 10/11/2025 22:00

    Today, as we talked after we woke up at a sleepover at my house (16th birthday gift), my best friend sat up, grabbed her belly, and started grunting. I asked what's wrong and she said, "I have to poop" and she did, right there in her underwear. The turd she pushed out was so big, her panties overflowed. We shared a bed. FML
    525
    79
      

    Enjoy yourself

    Anonymous - 25/12/2025 12:00

    Today, my mom asked if she could use my red dress for her two-week trip to the Caribbean. I said no, because I was going to a party and I wanted to wear it. She called me a selfish, greedy bitch who would stay single forever. I paid for her plane ticket, her hotel fees, and her cruise ship fee. FML
    525
    72
      

    Time to let go

    - 15/01/2026 22:00

    Today, my husband is leading us into financial ruin by insisting on paying for his senior dog’s cancer treatment, but the poor thing is so old and miserable, I’m pretty sure it’s animal abuse at this point. He won’t listen to reason, our bills are all past due, and my car is about to get repossessed. FML
    525
    85
      

    Mean Girls 3

    Anonymous - 20/08/2025 05:00 - United States

    Today, a grown-ass woman has launched a Mean Girl-type hate campaign against my daughter. This petty bitch is mad because my daughter is allowed to join the varsity teams while her daughter didn’t make it. My high school days are behind me but I’m ready to meet this bitch in the parking lot. Fml
    524
    91
      
    • 28
    • 29
    • 30
    • 31
    • 32
    • 33
    • 34
    • 35
    • 36
    • 37

    Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home
    FMyLife FMyLife
    FMyLife FMyLife
    Today, I made the mistake of revealing my finger in a photo. The first comment was, "I bet that finger has never been in a vagina before." The image wasn't remotely NSFW. I'm now afraid of showing any body part in any photo I take ever again, assuming these disgusting creeps are always gonna be around. FML
    415
    150
    Today, my boss replied-to-all to a memo I sent, wherein he states that "Filipino" should be spelled with a double P. He spells his nationality with a double R. He's from Morocco. FML
    18 543
    2 571
    Today, I was on a drive with my uncle. We saw a dead deer on the side of the road and expressed our pity for it. Then a squirrel runs across the road and my uncle swerves toward the squirrel, laughing hysterically and yelling, "Run rodent run." FML
    29 626
    4 235
    Today, I bought some party poppers to surprise my roommate to celebrate her recent promotion. I pulled one the strings too early, in the lobby of our building. A hundred tiny paper stars rained down while my neighbor, who had just spilled her grocery bag out of fright as she entered the building, yelled at me like I was a lunatic. FML
    96
    431
    Today, I'm an introvert and told my girlfriend explicitly that all I wanted for my birthday was to sit quietly and read my new Discworld book. She took this to mean invite everyone within 50 miles for a massive party, and afterwards was surprised that I was pissed as hell and not speaking to her. FML
    1 191
    275
    Today, the girl I’ve been trying to date not only agreed to a date, she invited me back to her place because the date went so well. We were kissing so hard, I struggled to breathe, I coughed, gagged, then vomited my seafood dinner all over her yellow sofa. It all went downhill from there. FML
    524
    221

    © VDM SAS,

    ​