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I hate to admit this, but since he blocked me on Facebook, I made a fake account to find out and indeed, he is remarried and expecting a child. At first, I was confused and thinking, maybe it was just a friend or someone... then I got furious when I saw their wedding photos on Facebook. FML

By Username - 17/05/2012 14:37 - Australia

Today, I was really stressed, so I tried to let it out by crying. It lasted about 30 seconds, and I was making fun of myself the whole time. Even my subconscious thinks I'm pathetic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 792

You deserved it 5 269

By sn-511 - 01/03/2013 22:54 - Italy - Naples

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and after a while, she moved her hand down to my crotch. She felt my erection, then got up and yelled at me, calling me a horny pig for "assuming we were going to have sex." FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 074

You deserved it 5 997

By fish killer - 08/02/2013 03:58 - Canada

Today, I bought a fish. I put the tank on top of the fridge so my cat wouldn't get at it. I'd forgotten to buy some things for its tank, so I quickly ran out to get them. When I got home, I saw the tank destroyed on the floor, and my cat devouring my fish. I had the fish for less than an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 295

You deserved it 29 844

By effmylife - 06/09/2009 23:12 - Canada

Today, when I was finished eating at McDonald's, I went to Shoppers to pick up a new toothbrush. I got back to my car only to find the windows smashed in. The only thing that was missing from my car was the Hello Kitty toy I got from McDonald's. Someone broke into my car for a 10 cent toy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 201

You deserved it 3 680

By footscratching - 28/01/2012 06:27 - United States

Today, my wife and I were getting intimate for the first time in several months. Then we heard our son yelling from the other room needing my help. He needed me to scratch his foot because the cat was on his lap and he couldn't reach it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 598

You deserved it 4 499

Tactical

By Anonymous - 03/08/2009 14:50 - United States

Today, I got fired from work. Why? I finally took a stand for myself and confronted my coworker of writing things up in my name for herself, and it getting deducted from my check. So she went to the manager and accused me of sexual harassment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 106

You deserved it 3 944

By Anonymous - 02/01/2011 18:22 - United Kingdom

Today, several family members, including my mum, deleted me from Facebook in a concerted show of contempt. Apparently, I just can't shut up about World of Warcraft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 092

You deserved it 51 600

By Anonymous - 15/12/2009 04:16 - United States

Today, my boyfriend asked me why girls don't have armpit hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 864

You deserved it 6 051

Chill out, man!

By Marcowalker95 - 07/08/2012 04:16 - United States - Panorama City

Today, I was at a gas station when the cash register made a sound effect similar to one from Sonic the Hedgehog, and I pointed this out. The cashier then saw fit to go on a rant about how I need to stop focusing on video games, and get a life and a girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 696

You deserved it 7 113

By picklet - 12/05/2012 14:36 - Malaysia - Kajang

Today, I started the job of my dreams. Our first marketing meeting was an in-depth analysis of the phrase, "Haters gonna hate, potatoes gonna potate". I have a 5 year contract. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 180

You deserved it 4 547

Hands off parenting

By iloveyoutoomom - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - France

Today, my mom had an appointment with my teacher after class. She never showed. My teacher ended up driving me home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 626

You deserved it 3 592

By joshinbaltimore - 22/03/2009 04:15 - United States

Today, I went swimming. As I was getting out of the very crowded pool a little girl ran up to me pointed and yelled, "Mommy, I want big boobies like that when I grow up." I'm 16. I'm a boy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 103

You deserved it 25 603

By shouldhavecheckedthelock - 29/05/2011 01:56 - United States

Today, after having not used my laptop since January because I thought it was broken, I found out that the key lock has been on the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 897

You deserved it 51 999

By whatdoyoudo - 16/03/2009 04:39 - United States

Today, I was filling out paperwork with my new doctor. During the questionnaire, she asked if I was sexually active. I said yes. She then asked, "What do you do?" I told her I normally did vaginal, but sometimes anal. She blushed and started to laugh. She was asking where I worked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 272

You deserved it 47 311

whatdoyoudo tells us more.

whatdoyoudo 2

Wednesday 18 March 2009 15:34

ok. i am the poster and i'll answer some of your questions by prividing a little background: 1. I am a male 2. My doctor is female 3. She also has the best sense of humor I have seen in a physician 4. She is also my parents doctor 5. I told my parents this story 6. she will NEVER live it down