Health: Today, I was admitted to the hospital for chronic constipation....

By shatMyself - 22/04/2013 19:10 - United States

Today, I was admitted to the hospital for chronic constipation. I have to share a room with two other girls who are also having bowel problems. We're all on strong laxatives, and there's apparently only one bathroom in this place. FML

agreeclassic 52 498

vote type 1 3 428

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By Anonymous - 16/04/2013 23:13 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was given a powerful laxative to clear me out. I can't go to the bathroom because the four guests of my sleeping roommate are all sitting in dead silence against the paper-thin bathroom wall. FML

agreeclassic 38 542

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By Anonymous - 08/12/2010 02:38 - United States

Today, I was extremely constipated. This is a side effect of the medication I take to alleviate my stomach condition. Due to this same condition I can't eat much roughage. We have no laxatives or stool softeners, and I have been shitting bricks for three days. FML

agreeclassic 25 589

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By Anonymous - 17/11/2009 20:05 - United States

Today, I was at home with slight constipation, so I took two laxatives. That's when my boyfriend called me, saying his parents are in town and want to have dinner tonight, this being the first time I've met them. I've already been on the toilet five times. FML

agreeclassic 31 574

vote type 1 5 942

By shroooms - 28/07/2011 20:37 - Slovenia

Today, my entire family, myself included, has been turned into a collective diarrhea fountain after going out to eat. We only have one bathroom. FML

agreeclassic 36 740

vote type 1 3 078

States of matter

By Nirah - 26/07/2019 21:00 - Canada - Parksville

Today, I'm a week into a prescription of extremely constipating antibiotics. I also just caught the stomach bug going around at work that causes aggressive diarrhea. The two combined mean I have a constant, slow-moving stream of thick, foul-smelling sludge coming out of me. FML

agreeclassic 2 060

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By blehh - 14/04/2009 20:40 - United States

Today, I had horrible pains in my stomach area so I went to the doctors. They couldn't find anything wrong and sent me to the Emergency Room for X-rays. After spending the entire day in the hospital, they tell me I'm slightly constipated. I had to pay $400 to find out I had to take a shit. FML

agreeclassic 34 304

vote type 1 54 683

By screaming monkey - 04/04/2012 10:13 - United Kingdom - Whitton

Today, I'm recovering from colon surgery. They gave me codeine as pain relief, which has made me constipated. I'm currently sat on the toilet, trying to push out what feels like a small child wrapped in barbed wire out without busting my stitches. FML

agreeclassic 34 308

vote type 1 2 124

Phantom pooper

By Anonymous - 12/11/2020 17:02 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, all of my roommates were home. I really had to poop all day but the bathroom was being hogged. Once I finally got the chance to go, I guess the toilet didn't flush all the way and I didn't notice. The other roommates loudly asked each other who it was, and they all started loudly taking about me. FML

agreeclassic 721

vote type 1 433

By firegirl - 05/07/2018 15:00

Today, I finally got over a long bout of constipation. I was scared to ask my mom for laxatives because I had the feeling she would tell all her friends, but on the 6th day of absolutely no bowel movements, I caved. I later overheard my mom telling all her friends. FML

agreeclassic 3 931

vote type 1 381

Symphony

By Anonymous - 06/05/2009 19:17 - United States

Today, I had some pretty bad stomach pain, so I went to the bathroom. After a few minutes, two girls walked in, taking stalls next to me. That's when my farts began to get very large and explosive. Not only did they break into laughter, they waited for me to come out. FML

agreeclassic 78 509

vote type 1 5 211

asimplesharpie 7

Tuesday 23 April 2013 0:40

Incoming shitstorm.

SammyS2012 21

Tuesday 23 April 2013 0:41

It's the Hunger Games: Hospital Edition.

Comments

sigurd 11

Tuesday 23 April 2013 0:51

So according to your username you already shat yourself? I'm sorry OP :(

karlcolt45 19

Tuesday 23 April 2013 0:52

shower, toilet, sink. end of problem. y'all will be getting closer than cellmates on lockdown

Uhscanherdarklee 10

Tuesday 23 April 2013 0:54

They did it on purpose, they have bets going on. Flip over the hospital directory I bet you'll find stats on everyone.

rg350dx 29

Tuesday 23 April 2013 0:56

Extreme musical toilets

rampersaud 10

Tuesday 23 April 2013 0:59

Time to bring in the plunger.

jackiemora 18

Tuesday 23 April 2013 0:59

Smart doctors.

outoftown 26

Tuesday 23 April 2013 1:03

Bedside commodes are your new friend (and the cleaning staffs').

yeti37 16

Tuesday 23 April 2013 1:03

It will be alright. Just relax(ative)

Adhdkid107 9

Tuesday 23 April 2013 1:06

Guess you guys are making a ******** corner.

mokielove 10

Tuesday 23 April 2013 1:11

its funny until your spraying the wall with butt hole.

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