Intimacy: Today, I discovered that the only reason my husband is taking...

By Anonymous - 01/08/2012 09:02 - United States

Today, I discovered that the only reason my husband is taking yoga classes with me is because he wants to be flexible enough to suck his own rod. FML

agreeclassic 39 754

vote type 1 6 605

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By bleach bleach bleach - 22/12/2013 17:22 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, it's been a little over a month since my dad started taking yoga lessons. We always joked around behind his back that he was just doing it so he could get flexible enough to suck himself off. Well, that joke was confirmed as reality when I walked in on him trying just that. FML

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By lonelygal69 - 19/08/2015 05:54 - United States - Stafford

Today, my husband decided he'd rather jerk off to the Wii Fit trainer than have sex with me. FML

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By inder - 25/02/2011 16:03 - United Kingdom

Today, while having sex, I found out that I'm so flexible that when I bend over backwards, the backs of my knees can touch my shoulders. My boyfriend is now extremely jealous and is debating about breaking up with me. Even I don't get it. FML

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By stretchy - 06/05/2013 19:58 - United States - Bethesda

Today, my boyfriend forced me to do stretching exercises with him before and after sex as a "safety precaution". FML

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Niiiiiice!

By cameltoeyourface - 26/07/2010 00:42 - United States

Today, I was wearing my yoga pants for my boyfriend. He's infatuated with them. He claims they make my ass look nice. I found out it's because I constantly get a camel toe, and it gives him a semi every time he sees it. I found this out by listening to him and his father at dinner. FML

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By Anon - 15/03/2016 06:52 - United States - Pasco

Today, my boyfriend and I were reminiscing and sharing funny stories of when we were little. It was then that he told me he used to be flexible enough to suck his own weiner. FML

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Pragmatic

By Anonymous - 15/03/2010 14:05 - South Africa

Today, after confronting my husband about lack of intimacy in our marriage, I found him playing with himself. His response to my shock was, "This is less work and less involving." FML

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By Anonymous - 06/04/2024 13:00 - United States - Marshfield

Today, my husband has recently discovered prostate play. He is now using my sextoys to pleasure himself and not telling me until after. He doesn't see the problem. FML

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By LondonKitsch - 26/06/2009 16:51 - United States

Today, I finally got into a yoga class with the instructor I've been crushing on for 2 years. As he walked closer to greet me, I lifted my leg over my head into a full split, and queefed obnoxiously loud. He responded with his gag reflex. FML

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The language of love

By disgusted - 24/09/2012 19:16 - United Kingdom - Harpenden

Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this is my husband. FML

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saintsrocksocks 10

Wednesday 1 August 2012 19:01

Well somebody has to do it if you won't.

ChefPhilly 13

Wednesday 1 August 2012 19:03

Maybe somebody isn't doing their job enough...

Comments

SammySixx98 2

Thursday 2 August 2012 5:34

Soo he's taking one of your jobs????

challan 19

Thursday 2 August 2012 6:21

everyone is saying that's nasty... am I the only one that will admit that if I could do it I'd never leave my bedroom?

rebeccac3 5

Thursday 2 August 2012 6:22

Your husband sounds like a dumb dumb:)

Inheritance 10

Thursday 2 August 2012 6:35

Most guys would and will deny not wanting to self suck, when I bet you a great majority would love too.

shamonie22 9

Thursday 2 August 2012 6:51

Maybe you're not sucking it enough? Or maybe u should start doing it. Or maybe he's just weird.

LuckyLynx7732 5

Thursday 2 August 2012 7:23

That may not be gay, but it's right there on the edge. How to blow a guy is not knowledge I want or need, even if that guy is me.

funnychick101 1

Thursday 2 August 2012 7:29

Rather him do it his self then him getting another girl to to do it

roZen91 2

Thursday 2 August 2012 8:41

Wow what a cocksucker

Llama_Face89 33

Thursday 2 August 2012 16:58

Clever

2happy2frown 2

Thursday 2 August 2012 9:21

Well give him some -__-

friedbunnies 9

Thursday 2 August 2012 10:09

Well if you won't, someone has to...

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Top

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Today, a customer complained about me for getting their order wrong. This would have been fine if they hadn't sent their ten-year-old kid to order for them. FML

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Today, I called my mother to tell her that I got engaged. In the 15 minute conversation that followed, 13 were spent listening to how this is going to affect her. FML

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Today, I tried to tell a girl that I had watched her Purdue boyfriend flirt around at every frat party. She thinks I'm lying and blocked me. Now all my friends are angry at me because he was a "nice guy" and she "didn't need to know." FML

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Today, I went to the grocery store, but once I'd filled my cart, I realized that I'd forgotten my wallet, and because I'm not the sort of animal who just dumps stuff in random aisles, I had to awkwardly put all my items back on their shelves. FML

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