Health, Insomnia, Sleep, Farts and Cute: Insomnia tip

Insomnia tip

By pull my finger - 30/06/2024 10:00 - United States - Asheville

Today, as I sometimes do, I laid in bed at night rating my farts as I couldn't sleep. I'm a 53 year-old woman. FML

agreeclassic 289

vote type 1 247

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By Wowsers. - 30/01/2010 08:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I was woken up by my own fart. FML

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vote type 1 36 020

By Anonymous - 26/01/2019 11:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, in my sleep I let out a couple of farts. Normally this wouldn't be a big deal, but on this night I had slept in my mom's room. She came to check in on me and violently woke me up because she thought I pooped in the bed. Now my entire family knows I fart in my sleep. FML

agreeclassic 2 148

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By Anonymous - 24/07/2019 20:00

Today, I've had bad gas all day. In bed, almost asleep, I felt the urge to fart, and thinking nothing of it, I let it rip. It wasn't a fart. FML

agreeclassic 1 549

vote type 1 440

Chill out zone

By Gassy Patient - 06/06/2025 14:00 - Canada - Saskatoon

Today, while a patient in my local psych ward, I attended a relaxation group. Apparently it was too relaxing, as I farted in the middle of it. It smelled. People noticed. FML

agreeclassic 354

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Growing old gracefully

By Anonymous - 27/01/2017 18:25 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I found out that as I get closer to 40, I often need to wipe my arse when I fart. FML

agreeclassic 5 745

vote type 1 646

Dinnertime

By u.p.i.c. - 02/08/2019 22:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, the smell of my own fart made me feel hungry. FML

agreeclassic 1 175

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Gas giant

By morgan - 09/04/2021 23:00

Today, while laying in bed, I let out a huge fart. I then heard my roommate yell from outside my room, "Did you think you were alone?" FML

agreeclassic 798

vote type 1 311

Chemical warfare

By Anonymous - 12/07/2024 21:00 - Canada - Terrace

Today, while sitting on the couch with my husband, I farted quietly. Not a big deal, except it's hot out and our fan was blowing in his face, and it stunk. FML

agreeclassic 158

vote type 1 441

Time to flee the crime scene

By Anonymous - 22/10/2022 10:00

Today, my date from the night before let me stay behind when he had left for work. While relaxing, I figured I'd be fine to let a little fart out. Unbeknownst to me, not eating enough food over the past few days turned the contents of my bowels to liquid. I sharted on their bed. FML

agreeclassic 382

vote type 1 894

Gassy

By Fartnonymous - 18/08/2015 10:59 - Qatar - Doha

Today, it's been a week since I started farting in my sleep for no apparent reason. It's so frequent and so foul-smelling that my husband and I are both losing sleep and are having to take afternoon naps to make up for it. FML

agreeclassic 22 785

vote type 1 2 679

Yudith 25

Sunday 30 June 2024 18:47

There must be a Tik Tok or YouTube channel about rating farts somewhere.

idragosani 15

Monday 1 July 2024 19:28

Doesn't everyone do this?

Comments

Yudith 25

Sunday 30 June 2024 18:47

There must be a Tik Tok or YouTube channel about rating farts somewhere.

idragosani 15

Monday 1 July 2024 19:28

Doesn't everyone do this?

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Today, I came home from a one-year Army deployment, only for my wife to tell me she feels claustrophobic with me in the bed. She then asked for a divorce. FML

agreeclassic 1 231

vote type 1 115

Today, my school announced plans to do a Memorial Day event near the end of the year, where students can invite people they know who are war veterans. Everyone wants me to invite my uncle, since he's pretty well-known around here. I don't have the heart to tell them he has terminal cancer. FML

agreeclassic 537

vote type 1 75

Today, I was woken up by my dad and my dog barking at each other, and my dad yelling, "I am the Alpha male!" FML

agreeclassic 12 606

vote type 1 1 734

Today, my tired son and I were riding a shuttle bus. An old lady got on, and I told him we needed to get up so she could have the seat. He started crying and screamed, "WHY? She's old, she's gonna die soon!" I wanted to melt into the ground. FML

agreeclassic 408

vote type 1 168

Today, I picked up my 17 year-old daughter after a late night movie in down town and got pulled over by a cop. He questioned us for a solicitation. I told the cop that she was my daughter but he said, "So you are the daddy?" and laughed. Good to know that my daughter looks like a hoe and I a perv. FML

agreeclassic 67 165

vote type 1 6 413

Today, I asked my grandmother to hem my prom dress for me. I'm her oldest granddaughter so I thought she'd be happy to do it. She said no. Her occupation is a seamstress. FML

agreeclassic 47 271

vote type 1 8 016

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