Kids: How in hell…?

How in hell…?

By Anonymous - 19/06/2013 16:12 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, my 16-year-old son broke two of his fingers playing with Play-Doh. FML

agreeclassic 52 038

vote type 1 5 283

End-of-year festivities: New Year's Eve fun and frolics
End the year on a high note with anecdotes where every New Year's Eve firecracker is synonymous with laughter! More…

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Teenagers…

By why the fuck would you do that - 25/02/2013 02:57 - United States - Phoenix

Today, my son broke his hand when he and his best friend had the genius idea of punching each other in the fists as hard as they could. FML

agreeclassic 32 622

vote type 1 3 796

Learning curve

By Anonymous - 16/08/2017 16:00

Today, my 3-year-old son put into practice the lesson I taught him yesterday, about how to use a larger piece of Play-Doh to pick up smaller bits. Unfortunately, he used this method to pick up a small bit of poo from his pants with a larger bit of poo direct from the toilet. I was an hour late for work. FML

agreeclassic 4 096

vote type 1 498

Not too fond of the chair

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my son threw the biggest fit in history about going to the dentist. He broke a whole stack of plates, overflowed the bathtub, let the dog loose, and kicked his father when he tried to calm him down. My son is 17. FML

agreeclassic 34 877

vote type 1 36 551

Great work, son

By firestar772 - 12/06/2013 06:21 - United States - Santa Barbara

Today, I went to pick up my 6-year-old son from his friend's house. They were having a great time, and he didn't want to leave. So, while I wasn't looking, he superglued both his hands to their kitchen table. FML

agreeclassic 54 838

vote type 1 5 474

By Anonymous - 28/06/2013 20:36 - Jordan - Amman

Today, my 12-year-old son played QWOP on my laptop. Half an hour later, he virtually destroyed it in a fit of rage. FML

agreeclassic 38 244

vote type 1 5 403

Kids will be kids

By Anonymous - 27/08/2020 10:02 - Australia - Murarrie

Today, my son accidentally damaged another kid in the face with a baseball bat, while blindfolded trying to hit a piñata. Except there was no piñata, or blindfold. FML

agreeclassic 692

vote type 1 1 304

By Anonymous - 11/09/2011 19:16 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to clean up after the kid who discovered he could finger paint with his poo. FML

agreeclassic 36 264

vote type 1 3 187

Cats are the same

By GrumpyMonk - 21/01/2022 04:58

Today, my son was playing with a piece of plastic wrapping and trying not to let it fall to the floor as if it were a balloon. This is after he got some kick ass gifts for Christmas. Kids. FML

agreeclassic 450

vote type 1 790

So, here's the thing…

By dad - 28/04/2024 11:00 - United States

Today, my 6 year-old son and his cousin were play boxing. For fun, I taught them some real moves. I guess my son is a natural but my nephew got hit so hard he fell over and broke his arm. Now I have to explain this to my wife and her sister. FML

agreeclassic 148

vote type 1 670

Back in fashion (Oppenheimer dolls not so much)

By JGarz - 10/10/2015 07:21 - United States - Tucson

Today, I walked in on my teenage son passionately making out with one of his sister's Barbie dolls. FML

agreeclassic 25 322

vote type 1 2 733

TheDrifter 23

Wednesday 19 June 2013 22:30

True talent. Hide the modeling clay, it might put him in the ICU.

KainMoogle 21

Wednesday 19 June 2013 22:32

All I want to know is one thing... How?

Comments

LookAttMyyLifee 12

Thursday 20 June 2013 1:42

delicate fingers ?

MooseKnuckle5150 13

Thursday 20 June 2013 2:00

Play-D'OH!! -- Homer Simpson

lexiana 11

Thursday 20 June 2013 2:06

D'oh!

cheeseygeek 12

Thursday 20 June 2013 2:33

That's oddly impressive!

FlyingPie 17

Thursday 20 June 2013 3:28

He was playing with it too hard.

The_Piquerist 7

Thursday 20 June 2013 4:00

Someone needs to drink more milk

lolo717 17

Thursday 20 June 2013 4:17

that's actually very impressive!;)

kobykai 3

Thursday 20 June 2013 4:25

How da hell did that happen

jmacfan1 16

Thursday 20 June 2013 4:29

All I can think is HOW?

arre2006 19

Thursday 20 June 2013 4:44

Should of force fed that kid some milk

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, I liked one of my crush’s Instagram post from 2012 while stalking his profile. Despite me realising my mistake and un-liking the post, he immediately followed me back, and sent me a DM saying, “Wow, that’s some deep digging.” I’m now referred to as his "creepy stalker archaeologist of Instagram." FML

agreeclassic 108

vote type 1 549

Today, my wife spent all day texting me dirty things so I used some of my holiday hours to come home 3 hours early for some sexy time. During my drive home she got in a bad mood, and no longer wanted sex. FML

agreeclassic 723

vote type 1 135

Today, I hooked up with a guy I know from the gym. This dude is built like The Hulk, over 6 feet tall and almost 24 stone. We were really getting into it when he slipped and his whole weight went onto my knee, which bent completely the wrong way and dislocated everything. FML

agreeclassic 646

vote type 1 145

Today, my dad asked me to lend him some money to buy his medication, since he's all but broke right now. He returned with nothing but a bottle of tequila. FML

agreeclassic 49 153

vote type 1 8 424

Today, in a waiting room, my 4-year-old daughter told me she saw two guys kissing. I quietly explained that some men like men, they're gay, and normal like everyone else. I was pleased with myself until the woman across from me scoffed and muttered, "Disgusting." FML

agreeclassic 55 502

vote type 1 8 387

Today, my parents went to the Cayman Islands, leaving me at home in freezing Iowa. Also, even though I never get into trouble, they don't trust me enough to be home on my own. So they hired a babysitter to stay with me until they get back. I'm 17. FML

agreeclassic 35 265

vote type 1 4 249

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