Your everyday life stories

noplacelikehome - 15/05/2016 14:54 - United States - Elmira

Today, while I was dogsitting my bf got mad and slammed me into a closet door repeatedly then threw me to the bed and continued to slap me. Then he called his mom to come pick up her dog and drop me off "wherever" she came quickly, grabbed her dog and left me. The nearest town is 20 miles. FML

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randomuserlolol - 15/05/2016 14:07 - United States - Newark

Today, my barber had the hiccups. It didnt end well. FML

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clairelouisax - 15/05/2016 12:15 - United Kingdom

Today, I'm losing my voice and can barely speak at an audible tone. Today is also the day I'm trying to have a serious chat with my manager about my upcoming promotion. He can't stop laughing. FML

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SirHarryTaylor - 15/05/2016 11:54 - United Kingdom - Abingdon

Today, I was unfortunate enough to discover what happens when you vomit mid-drink at a water fountain. FML

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pureNed - 15/05/2016 11:23 - United States - Fredericktown

Today, I got home from a day out with my friends and got into bed to relax. My good feeling was quickly destroyed when my girlfriend started making threats to delete all my friends on Facebook and proceeded to have a go at me for several hours. FML

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xxsakuraxx - 15/05/2016 09:53 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I realized that the only time my cat purrs and gives me affection is when I'm on the toilet. FML

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amanda - 15/05/2016 09:44 - United States - Seattle

Today, I found out that my best friend is planning to go to prom with my ex.. I'm 99% sure they're secretly dating. I, on the other hand, am dateless and groupless. If anyone needs a dress, I have a $400 one that I naively bought, thinking I'd be wearing it with my best friend at my side. FML

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LuciiferSiche - 15/05/2016 09:23 - Australia - Parramatta

Today, my twin brother brought me a cat. What I didn't know was that he stole it from his best friend, who hates my guts... and who is coming over in a couple of hours. FML

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Awkward_penguin - 15/05/2016 07:10 - United States - Bryan

Today, I was scrolling down my Facebook newsfeed and came across a picture of an attractive girl in a new dress. My first thought was "damn she's hot.." A split-second later, I look up at the name to see who it is.. And to my horror, I realized she was my cousin. FML

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my stomach hurts - 15/05/2016 06:53 - New Zealand - Auckland

My sister's boyfriend decided to cook dinner for our family tonight by following a chicken curry recipe he found online. He mistook coconut oil for coconut milk and now my stomach feels like it's committing suicide. FML

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DiamondAddict - 15/05/2016 05:55 - United States - Idaho Falls

Today, I was driving with my mom. On our way, a car full of beautiful young men pulled up beside the car on my side. They were whistling and smiling. I waved and smiled back..until I realized they were staring directly at my mom...I'm single, she's 45 and married.. FML

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anonymous - 15/05/2016 05:38 - United States - Knoxville

Today, people at my wedding rehearsal were taking notice I wasn't drinking alcohol, so my soon- to- be husband got on the microphone and announced I was an alcoholic. No, I'm not. Just pregnant, and we both have very religious parents. FML

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Mandykins - 15/05/2016 05:33

Today I googled, "How to make friends." I moved to a new state 4 years ago and it's just now starting to bother me I have a non existent social life. FML

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Anonymous - 15/05/2016 05:31 - United States - South Point

Today, I found out my boyfriend cheated on me by sleeping with my cousin, who happens to also be his brothers girlfriend. FML

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xxxhball96xyz - 15/05/2016 05:23 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was asked by a high school student if I was in sixth grade. I just finished up my sophomore year of college and was volunteering at my old high school. The kicker was she didn't believe me when I told her I was halfway done with college. None of them take me seriously now. FML

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Trey7876 - 15/05/2016 05:12 - United States - Arvada

Today, I had a wonderful dinner at Boston market. My dad reminded me to wash my hands before I left, since I had ribs. I had a drum lesson afterward, and when I walked in, my teacher said "so you had ribs today?" I looked down and there was a giant splotch of barbeque sauce on my shirt. FML

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lostinthewoods - 15/05/2016 05:04 - United States - Jersey City

Today, after getting crutches my friend thought it would be funny to push me. I have a cracked tooth and already broken leg is damaged even more. I need new friends. FML

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Anonymous - 15/05/2016 04:52 - United States - Austin

Today, I wanted to show my boyfriend picture from a banquet. So I went on google drive only to see his is full of other girls nudes and he just joked how girls from his school love to send them to him. FML

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drowningslowly - 15/05/2016 04:47 - Canada - Welland

Today, I went to the clinic expecting to be told my symptoms were a bad reaction to my new birth control. I walked out diagnosed with pneumonia. FML

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simplybadass - 15/05/2016 04:36 - United States - Clinton

Today, I graduated I'm very concerned about paying for nursing school and am currently working my ass off. My serious boyfriend decided now would be the right time in our lives to quit his job because "they weren't being fair to him". Suppose to get married in 2 months. Not anymore. FML

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FML - 15/05/2016 04:32 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I accidentally helped my crush build enough courage to ask her crush out....he said yes. FML.

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anonymous - 15/05/2016 04:18

Today, I got fired for sleeping in my car on my lunch break and clocking in late 5 minutes. All while a different departments supervisor took pictures before waking me up and showing everyone at work. My coworkers have now made memes with those pictures and posted them to Facebook. FML

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No Vacation - 15/05/2016 04:02 - United States - Dodge City

Today, my boss informed me that after approving my cruise vacation, three months ago, she can no longer approve my time because of "staffing issues". The cruise is three months away and already paid for. FML

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ty7in_topic - 15/05/2016 03:34 - United States - Norfolk

Today, for the third time I've been in a relationship where a girl cheated on me with a guy in his 30s. We're in highschool in our teens. FML

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NOIP234 - 15/05/2016 03:22 - United Kingdom - Ware

Today my mum came up to me, said 'it's time' and signalled for me to follow her into the garden. She then proceeded to start scattering ashes around the place. Ashes that belonged to MY cat, that had died a few days previously, and she had forgot she hadn't told me. FML

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KreAtor_O - 15/05/2016 03:01 - United States - Layton

Today, I went in for opening shift at Taco Bell. The manager hadn't woken up, so I had to open the store alone. How did I open the door you ask? By yanking on the rope the night shift crew 'thought' kept it closed. FML

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money can't buy love but... - 15/05/2016 02:53 - United States - Petaluma

Today, I got home to my apartment being robbed. When I called my girlfriend to tell her what happened, she broke up with me because she can't date someone who can't buy her jewelry. FML

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ashleyt - 15/05/2016 02:50 - United States - Houston

Today, my new boyfriend came 10 seconds into a hand-job. Shortly after that he also added that he was glad he could last so long for me. FML

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AK - 15/05/2016 02:41 - Switzerland - Kaiseraugst

Today, I finally connected with someone on tinder. Everything was going great until she tried to scam me for 2,500 francs. FML

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PaulaMaureena - 15/05/2016 02:39 - United States - Oakdale

Today, even though I am twenty one I still get yelled at to go to class and stop messing around at a elementary school I work at. By the same teachers and principles that taught me when I went there. FML

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, when my girlfriend walked out the room, for a laugh, I covered my whole body except my knob in blankets. Then when I heard her come back in, I yelled, "Surprise!" It was her mom, who'd dropped by unannounced. FML

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Today, I was visiting my in-laws and sharing a room with my husband's 17-year-old sister. Later that night she and her brother of 24 years started fist-fighting over an air mattress and I had to pull them off each other. The brother later berated me with, "You can't handle any pressure!" FML

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Today, my friend informed me that I’m not moving in with him anymore, and that his sister is taking my place. Unfortunately, I'd finally gathered the money and a car to move out of state with him. Just when I thought I was going to get away from this hellhole, I’m sinking further into never leaving. FML

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Today, two years after marrying my fun, adventurous fiancée, she's turned into a whiny, nagging bore. Date nights are now "eat leftovers and watch reality TV nights" and sex is once a month, with her asking, "Are you about to finish? Are you almost done?" the whole way through. FML

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Today, my dad saw on TV that in some parts of Africa, it's not uncommon for people to attach make-shift flamethrowers to their cars to defend against carjackers. He's now lost his mind and is forcing me to help him put one together to scare off Jehovah's Witnesses. FML

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Today, I was hitting on a girl who was getting ready to walk into the same class as me. We were waiting outside the room, so I told her that I'd heard the professor for the course was a total bitch. We walked into the room. I sat down at a desk. She stood behind the podium. FML

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