Your everyday life stories

anonymous - 13/05/2016 22:31 - United Kingdom - Stockport

Today, I helped a patient get washed and dressed after having both of her legs amputated. I would then be helping her into her new wheelchair. Without thinking I asked her if she had any slippers... FML

JustNo - 13/05/2016 22:23

Today, I realized I'm still just my boyfriends ex's replacement. But not as good. He told me to stop doing a special quirk his ex used to after we've dated for 4 years. From her facebook posts she likes and acts kind of like me. After 4 years, I don't know if its still worth it. FML.

ifrickinhateskeletonsandtheirstupidabilitytohideincaves - 13/05/2016 22:17 - United States

Today, I was playing a game and got so scared, I peed myself. No, it wasn't a horror game, it was Minecraft. FML

only in a game - 13/05/2016 22:11 - United States - Spring Grove

Today, my son called me incredible. Then I realized he was talking to his video game me. I hit a three run home run. He turn and said, "oh you thought I was talking to the real you?" FML

sylverstar - 13/05/2016 22:02 - United States - Houston

Today, my boyfriend told me he still loves his ex. I was just about to propose, FML

HeyPeople13 - 13/05/2016 22:01 - United States - Alhambra

Today, my group had a project due and I submitted my part of it last week, but apparently it didn't get submitted. I guess my WiFi was poor. No one made contact with me to tell me that. Now it's my fault it wasn't finished. One friend started crying. Fml.

dwaitley24 - 13/05/2016 21:59 - United States - Hinsdale

Today, I was in school and I felt really sick and I asked my teacher to go to the nurse. Right as she calls for the nurse I can't hold myself up anymore and collapse. The rest of the class evacuated the room while my crush was laughing at me. FML

flake - 13/05/2016 21:54 - United States

Today, I went to get my hair done. All went well until they dried it causing my severe dandruff to come in for a grand finale. It literally looks like I've been snowed on. No, nothing helps it. FML

KyoshiroT - 13/05/2016 21:46 - Canada - Saskatoon

Today, bad luck struck. My work was out of lunch when I went to get it, my bag of chips got stuck in a vending machine, my computer broke down, and my car needs its brakes changed. FML.

Jobless - 13/05/2016 21:35 - Canada - Victoria

Today, my contract ended. In my initial interview, they said their budget changed and now it wasn't an 8-month position, it was 4-months. Hired, they swore up and down they'd fight on my behalf for the second 4-months. They got it. They made me re-apply and compete. They choose someone else.

CaylaMack - 13/05/2016 21:34 - United States - South Jordan

Today, I met a really nice guy online. We have lots in common and really hit it off. He then told me "I can tell by your picture that you are a thick girl, I just want you to know that I like that!" well thanks, love being called thick! FML

audioquest - 13/05/2016 21:28

Today I was walking with my girlfriend and saw the most recent GM electric Volt. I immediately stated how incomprehensible it was for such a big company to make such an ugly car. A couple walks by hearing everything I said and unlocks the car. FML

anonymous - 13/05/2016 21:25 - United States - Manchester

Today, on a blind date, it was going perfectly until the man I was on a date with told me he was a "vampire cannibal" who would like to take me to his house and bite me. FML

onlydatedforayear - 13/05/2016 21:12 - United States - Anchorage

today, I "cheated on my girlfriend." let me explain before you press that button. I was out walking with my girlfriend when a (very wasted version) of my best friend came up to me. all she said was "the baby is yours" then kissed me. I now dont have a girlfriend, my best friend laughed. FML

JustATeenageMess - 13/05/2016 20:55 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, I have 2 days of detention for wearing an inappropriate shirt. What was on it? Darth Vader, apparently the light saber violated the 'No Tolerance Policy'. FML

kencs1721 - 13/05/2016 20:51 - United States - Lees Summit

Today, my parents decided to ground me for being bisexual. NOT for the fact that I went to jail... FML

satan's-spawn - 13/05/2016 20:35 - United Kingdom - Bournemouth

Today, I jumped over a wall and seemed to break my foot. My parents knew I had a presentation that I haven't done today and now think I'm putting it on. There refusing to take me to the hospital for 4 days. I can't walk FML

sadunicorn - 13/05/2016 20:19 - United Kingdom - Kingston Upon Thames

Today, my friend asked me if I am polish, when I said yes they asked me if I live in the north pole. They were serious. FML

Anonymous - 13/05/2016 19:58 - United States - Livonia

Today, and for the past couple of days, my family have been seeing small ants around the house, thanks to the rain. The ants are one thing, but the quarter-sized spiders, I see each day now, are a whole other. FML

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Anon - 13/05/2016 19:22 - Canada - Ajax

Today, my sister threw a used tampon at me. FML

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UnluckyAmber - 13/05/2016 18:11 - United States - Miami

Today, for the first time in probably ever a guy approached me. It turned out I just had stain on my pants and he was just saying it looked like I peed myself. FML

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golightlee - 13/05/2016 18:06 - United Kingdom - Liverpool

Today, on one of the hottest days of the year so far in the UK, I discovered that milk had been spilt in the boot of my car and gone off. It had heated up a treat whilst baking in the hot sun in the car park whilst I was at work, FML

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HelloGoodBye230 - 13/05/2016 18:04 - United States - Gibson

Today, at school I took my final state placement exam with my $150 calculator. Today also happened to be the day seniors pelt underclassmen during said test ruining both my calculator and my clothes leaving me drenching wet. Not even a "sorry" or any chance of a decent score. FML

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Dune1988 - 13/05/2016 17:51 - United States - Nashville

Today, I'm in dire need of a job. Applied at UPS and got hired. Problem was I mistook the phone call for another company. I got fired in the same phone call. FML

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wendyfail - 13/05/2016 17:39 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, I snuck down to the lobby of my building to get some coffee in my pajamas, without brushing my hair or teeth, thinking I wouldn't run into anyone. No. Who did I see? 1. The hot pro basketball player who just moved in. 2. Another dude I've been trying to meet. FML

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dickballsbutt - 13/05/2016 17:26 - United States

Today, I was pantsed while wearing basketball shorts. I was going commando. FML.

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Phycheledic - 13/05/2016 17:08 - United States

Today, I was waiting all day to get some cookies-n-cream ice cream, so when I finally got it a seagull flew down and took the ice cream. FML

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tasha1478 - 13/05/2016 17:06 - United States - Middleton

Today, my mom stole my phone again to take pictures and send them to her long distance boyfriend. When I finally got my phone back.. there was a naked picture of my mom. FML

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anonymous - 13/05/2016 17:06 - United States - Tuscaloosa

Today my grandmother started a heated argument with me about me eating too many lemons. This is the only lemon I've had in about 7 months. FML

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Trey7876 - 13/05/2016 17:00 - United States - Denver

Today, I was sitting at my garage sale, and was getting bored. So I decided to try to ride my unicycle. after five minutes, I was sitting there sweating (I am very out of shape) and I decided to give it one more try. As I got on, my unicycle rolled forward into the ladder and crushed my testicles. FML.

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I was giving a friend a neck rub, when she started to breathe heavily. So I figured she was getting into it, so I started kissing her neck, she then turns around and says "Tell my room mate I'm having an asthma attack." FML

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Today, I tried to put together some flat-pack furniture. I wound up in my underpants, screaming stuff like, "Fuck you, fucking Ikea bastard" at pieces of confusing plywood. FML

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Today, I made a point of talking to our parachute riggers, and thanking them for all they do. Today is also the first day I had to pull my reserve chute because my main chute didn't open correctly. FML

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Today, I found out that my mother has been purposely wrecking every relationship I've had since junior high because ''no one is good enough for her little girl''. FML

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Today, I, a demigirl struggling with her identity, have decided to change my name. When I told my dad in therapy (of all places) that I was a demigirl, he struggled to understand me. When I told my mom I was changing my name, she yelled at me and refused to call me it. And she wonders why I don't trust her. FML

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Today, I've become so accustomed to finding my sister drunk or otherwise passed out in the same spot in the living room that every time I go in there, I instinctively lift my feet higher as though to step over her, even when she's not there. FML

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