oshkoshbigosh

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Oshkoshbigosh's favorite FMLs

By ubbernoob - 05/03/2009 19:33 - United States

Today, I walked into my house to find everyone sitting around the table and looking sad. I thought it would be a good time to crack a joke and said, "What's wrong? Grandma finally die?" Turns out she had. FML

agreeclassic 29 288

vote type 1 143 042

By Anonymous - 13/09/2013 21:40 - United Kingdom

Today, I walked in on my 14-year-old daughter holding a lit lighter to the underside of a spoon, which was full of baking powder. She was trying to breathe in the fumes to get high, and later confessed that she thought it's how heroin is made and used. FML

agreeclassic 50 622

vote type 1 6 085

By ellen77 - 13/09/2013 05:55 - United States - Santa Barbara

Today, I had to babysit two kids. It all went well until one of them duct taped a knife to a toy machine gun, lit the barbecue on fire, and ran around like a wild banshee screaming obscenities. The other one got scared and climbed onto the roof of the house. FML

agreeclassic 49 047

vote type 1 5 433

Coming through!

By Anonymous - 12/09/2013 05:18 - United States

Today, I taught my kid how to mow the lawn. It's a self-propelling mower so it's easy to handle. My kid thought it would be smart to tie the handle down so that he wouldn't have to push it at all. This resulted in the lawn mower blasting through our fence and sinking into my neighbor's pool. FML

agreeclassic 45 958

vote type 1 7 061

By the next james herriot - 10/09/2013 23:30 - United States - Laurel

Today, I found out my extremely anti-war relatives hate me because they think I served in the Army, after hearing I was "a vet". I'm a veterinarian. FML

agreeclassic 49 567

vote type 1 3 103