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jesuslover5000

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Clovis, United States
35
Monday 29 January 1990

Jesuslover5000

I never know what to write in this section… and honestly I don't really care enough to write anything worthwhile or interesting so I think I will just keep on rambling until I get bored of typing. Furthermore, if you are still reading this, what are you doing with your life? And… bored.

Jesuslover5000 -

Jesuslover5000 -

Jesuslover5000

lovers5201

JuneMason

kchambers8...

Cbnotme

notabeachb...

sirsquab

jadeluv

mcm_3

Danny5146

awesome1_4...

SlapAndTic...

bmon

JuneMason

Jesuslover5000

Jesuslover5000

Multitasking

Anonymous - 14/11/2012 21:28 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, was the day my girlfriend and I tried to 69 for the first time. Today is also the day I learned that I'm physically incapable of maintaining an erection after someone farts in my face. FML

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Hey!

QueueJumper - 11/02/2014 00:45 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was waiting in line at a clothes store when someone cut in in front of me, and the gentlemen in front of me. I shouted, "Hey! Queue starts back here!". He responded by pointing out the "gentlemen" in front was actually a very realistic mannequin. FML

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vegas-81 - 10/02/2014 03:39 - France

Today, I came home from a night out with the lads. My girlfriend refused to make love to me, saying my sperm were drunk and would raise hell in her uterus. FML

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Anonymous - 10/09/2013 18:30 - United States - Smyrna

Today, I took my 4-year-old son to the bank with me. He asked why we were going, and I explained that I had a couple of checks that they would turn into money. When we got in line, he loudly exclaimed that "Mommy has checks for money!" Except "checks" sounded almost exactly like "sex". FML

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First day

Awkward - 22/08/2013 23:50 - United States

Today, while training a new employee, I had to run after a naked guy chasing a hooker at the hotel I work at. I made him go back to his room, while she offered me a good time for 300 bucks. The trainee left and hasn't come back yet. FML

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