gerardcommaeva

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Ridgecrest, US
36 years-old
Friday 09 June 1989
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Gerardcommaeva's favorite FMLs

Caught

By Boredom - 26/01/2009 21:09 - United States

Today, I tried to suck my own penis. Autofellatio. My mother walked in on me and I flipped backwards off the bed. ER and 10 stiches above my eyebrow later, I asked her not to ever bring it up again. FML

agreeclassic 18 849

vote type 1 76 283

By Anonymous - 15/04/2009 00:19 - United States

Today, I took the bus home. A bum sat next to me. Reeking with alcohol and sweat, he pulls out a pair of nail clippers and clips his grimy finger nails. With every clip, the nails would fly up and hit me. As I was about to ask him to stop, a nail flies into my mouth. I swallowed it. FML

agreeclassic 134 827

vote type 1 13 392

itspretzelday app_comment_confession_title

itspretzelday 0

Thursday 16 April 2009 4:56

I am the author of this post, and no, I could not move to a different seat. The bus was packed like a can of sardines. My seat was actually the only seat open. Lol. I wanted to be nice, so I let him sit next to me. When he was clipping his nails, yes, they were flying EVERYWHERE. I didn't mean to swallow the nail, by the way. It was accidental. Completely. Lol. I can only fit so much in that little submit box. I couldn't explain the entire story. :) Now you all know. Trust me, if I had the opportunity to move, I would've. . . .

By khood - 14/04/2009 05:10 - United States

Today, I bought a coral colored hooded sweatshirt, which my girlfriend told me was "hot". I wore it to a baseball game tonight. When it got cold I put the hood over my head, only to hear everyone behind me laugh. The back of the hood said "Boy crazy". It was a teen girls sweatshirt. FML

agreeclassic 20 682

vote type 1 70 102

By meteorbabe0101 - 14/04/2009 02:11 - United States

Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML

agreeclassic 800 719

vote type 1 65 958

By whoops - 11/04/2009 20:43 - United States

Today, I was on my way home from work and decided to stop at the grocery store. I purchased $200 in groceries and went to put them in my car. I then realized I drove my motorcycle today. FML

agreeclassic 19 425

vote type 1 88 800