•
•
•

an555

0

0

5

3

305

19

An555

An555 -

An555 -

An555

lovers5201

An555

An555

perfecttiming - 06/05/2013 15:25 - United States - San Jose

Today, my manager called me in to tell me I got the promotion I've been hoping for. He then said that since I didn't look excited about it he might have to rethink it. I was too busy concentrating on holding in diarrhea. FML

58 657

4 677

ADickySituation - 05/05/2013 04:14 - United States - Wilmette

Today, my dumbass colleague was too lazy to go buy balloons for a party in recognition of our company's huge merger. Instead, he made condom balloons. Let's just say you don't make blow up condoms for a prestigious company event. A company whose CEO is named Dick. FML

56 897

4 943

Always prepared

emasculated 10000% - 04/05/2013 17:05 - Sweden - Ljungby

Today, I was out with my grandma when a pair of very shady guys approached us in the street, hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride, she pulled a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck, gran? FML

55 836

7 829

FML136969 - 05/05/2013 23:30 - United States - Oxford

Today, I tried channeling Mr. Miyagi by catching a fly with my bare hands. It turned out to be a wasp. FML

22 778

50 357

What just happened?

Anonymous - - United States - Bellevue

Today, my girlfriend and I were at the river. She threw mud on me, so I playfully threw some on her, and we got into a mud fight. Apparently, she took the "fight" seriously, because I'm now single. FML

58 297

6 177