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Rapunzel - 18/03/2012 20:02 - United States - Tucson

Today, I watched as my step-dad put locks on my window, because he's convinced that I've been sneaking out at night. All my mom did was casually remark that I'm fucked if there's ever a fire. FML

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3 077

Anonymous - 09/03/2012 15:14 - United States

Today, I was given a bottle of vitamins that are supposed to help your memory. I forgot them at home. FML

27 476

4 534

fuck teh poleese - 12/02/2012 21:50 - United States

Today, I realized that I probably have anger issues. I came to this conclusion after I finished screaming abuse at the microwave for beeping before I could hit the off switch. FML

10 016

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thatchick3333 - 08/03/2012 07:13 - United States

Today, I got burned, all because the toaster scared me while I was holding a pot of boiling water. FML

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Hannah - 04/03/2012 20:46 - United States

Today, I faced down the Godzilla of all spiders. I smashed the goddamned holy shit out of it. Trying to impress my cute new roommate, I scooped up the remains and showed him. It was his pet tarantula. FML

25 010

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