xLuKeYx

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Xlukeyx's favorite FMLs

Speak to me

By Lonely - this FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I felt so lonely that I left the TV on for company. Then the power went out. FML

agreeclassic 37 128

vote type 1 5 901

By Khrixas_069 - 18/06/2011 07:10 - United States

Today, I was about to make love to my girlfriend at the local park when a cop caught us. I had to give him our information and hold a conversation with "Fire and Ice" lubricant on my penis. FML

agreeclassic 16 731

vote type 1 58 716

Superfreak

By callie - 18/06/2011 06:08 - United States

Today, I got some really bad mosquito bites on the outside of my thighs. They itched, and my jeans prevented me from scratching them, so I unbuttoned my pants, stuck my down my leg and started scratching. My mom walked in, and won't believe I wasn't masturbating. FML

agreeclassic 37 986

vote type 1 6 647

By Inconnu - 18/06/2011 05:13 - France

Today, I was holding my drunken friend's hair while she threw up in the toilet at a party. She said, crying, "Y'don't have to do this..." I told her that that's what friends are for. She replied, "Yeah, but I did sleep with your boyfriend..." FML

agreeclassic 56 617

vote type 1 3 869

Second class citizen

By crapped on - this FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my family went on vacation. I had to stay home to take care of everyone's animals. I called my mom, who said she was too busy to talk to me. When my sister asked her who was on the phone, she replied, "The dog sitter." FML

agreeclassic 38 580

vote type 1 4 264